Aristotle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) I am 24 and i met a girl a long time ago while i was working. A year later she is single(now) and i started chatting with her. Anyway i had her over for drinks with some friends and actually knocked a cup all over her really nice dress . At that point i thought it was over but she stayed over that night later than anyone(about 3am). I talked to her and then she had to go, i did not think much of it because i am used to the first impression being the last but 2 days later she wanted to hang out. She came and picked me up, i took her out to eat, for a walk downtown, and finally a few movies at my house. We then got sushi and she came back to my house, had sex then went to bed around 3 in the morning. It has now been a week i have lost interest in everything but her and she started acting really wierd last night. I have been staying at her house, it is very nice to be able to get away from my place which i had not slept away from for at least a year. Last night though when i was talking with her at a mexican resturant we got on the topic of my work. I used to do cell phone repair and she was actually a customer, anyway, i got on the topic of things like what we would do. So i told her and it ended up coming to me being very honest and saying i had actually seen a nude pic on her phone when she brought it in. She really did not seem to care but then things got kind of tense she would not even undress for bed. I would do anything to be able to get back on track with her. It just sucks sometimes that honesty can really mess up someones outlook on you. She is going out of town this weekend though to a family gathering. I am kind of happy for her because i have been asking her if she was sure she did not want much space. Maybe she is still indecisive about dating me. After all women are really complex organisms. Thank you for reading and please try to help me figure this out. Thx ^_^ Reach to the sky from the bottom Living out the dreams that have all came true. Trying to reach to the stars from the heavens Neva givin' up like ya thought I'd do. * Aristotle * Edited June 7, 2013 by Aristotle Signature
Author Aristotle Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Do you think its a fling?? She seems want kids when we are in bed. Please could really use some advice here.
Jon Tenzo Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 I have a feeling it's something else unrelated to you which could be: 1) She has a boyfriend 2) She is confused (possibly bi-sexual or lesbian) 3) She just broke up with her ex 4) Someone just died Find out.
Author Aristotle Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 I have a feeling it's something else unrelated to you which could be: 1) She has a boyfriend i've been staying with her the past week and she does not seem to have any ties that are talking to her. Since this post she has told me she does want to be exclusive but you never know whats back in her home town for this family reunion. She is really awesome though and very easy on the eyes. 2) She is confused (possibly bi-sexual or lesbian) I have actually taken this into consideration, considering(lol) she does do waxings and prolly sees a lot of crazy things. Salon girls really are the best . She is really dominate though and blunt. I don't think she would be talking to me if she was a lesbian. 3) She just broke up with her ex She did but i don't think it was to recent. and it was a 6 month relationship. I just got out of a 6 month relationship aswell, that i neglected to mention. She is fully aware of the break up and everything and i believe its why she is hesitant. 4) Someone just died I don't think someone died but she is about to see a bunch of family which is gathering almost the same as a funeral. She also just stated her job and had to wake up early this morning. I think she was just stressed though. I don't know whats going on but i will diffinetly be able to tel when she gets back from this trip, you know?
lovinglife1 Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 I am thinking it could be one of these three things: 1. She is embarrassed by the photo you saw of her and is trying to play it cool so you don't judge her for the nude photo. 2. She feels violated and upset that you went through the phone and saw that picture. 3. She doesn't take you seriously due to the age gap and is just enjoying your time together while it lasts. Although I don't think the age gap is really that big. I am 34 and seeing a 23 year old...Now that's a big gap! I don't take the relationship seriously, but it's not a booty call thing either. We do everything that any other couple would do, but I don't have serious expectations of it and am just going with the slow, still dating others. 1
Author Aristotle Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 I am thinking it could be one of these three things: 1. She is embarrassed by the photo you saw of her and is trying to play it cool so you don't judge her for the nude photo. About the photo, I explained that is what my old boss does with womens phones which is goes through every phone. Trust me when i say delete all ur personal stuff off your phone before you take it into shop. I was not even the one to discover it. The thing is i wanted to tell her like it was something on my chest because i mean i had already seen her completely naked and she is comfortable with it too. 2. She feels violated and upset that you went through the phone and saw that picture. That is actually how i feel too. I feel like i should not have said anything but i don't know i am just at that point now where i don't want to hide anything you know? I am done playing games. 3. She doesn't take you seriously due to the age gap and is just enjoying your time together while it lasts. Although I don't think the age gap is really that big. I am 34 and seeing a 23 year old...Now that's a big gap! I don't take the relationship seriously, but it's not a booty call thing either. We do everything that any other couple would do, but I don't have serious expectations of it and am just going with the slow, still dating others. 34 and 23 is understandable.. I dated a 33 yo when i was 20. She was also a mother. She did treat me with a lot of affection though and kind of let me on her level, accepted me. I just don't think this women knows that i have dated many older women. Maturity is a big part of it because the older ladies are either set on life or on the right path and expect their partner to be too. I think she is just stressed maybe. Time will only tell. She did send me a lot of reassuring text messages a little while ago so i feel a lot better now . i still just can't read her and its driving me insane. I am usually pretty good at reading people. i think she is still making up her mind about me. Trial period or something.
Author Aristotle Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 I'd throw away a phone with naked pics before leaving it with a repair guy. Maybe I'd stand there and watch while they repaired. You shouldn't have told her you looked at naked pictures of her on her phone. Any ways you seem way too into her for this to last. You need to not get so focused on a girl like this. Also consider dating a younger girl. I actually read a study where about 60% of women between the ages of 18-23 24 can sometimes think in insane ways. I just broke up with a 22 year old. She just was not going any where and i don't need someone dragging me down. I need a positive enabler IMO.. thanks for the imput i do doubt it will last very long >_<
hppr Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 First off don't go calling a 29 year old woman an 'older woman'. Second of all it doesn't sound like you have much of a connection with her, you are attracted to her and she appreciates the attention but that sounds like the beginning and end of it. So yeah sounds like a fling to me.
Jon Tenzo Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Any ways you seem way too into her for this to last. You need to not get so focused on a girl like this. Also consider dating a younger girl. I would agree he needs to date either younger than 29 OR older than 35. I have tended to not have good experiences courting women from 25-35. It's something about the phase of life they're in which just doesn't sync if you are not a man older than 35.
Author Aristotle Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 (edited) Ya i agree. Maybe i can take it as a learning experience. That is probably best anyway. Its hard to not have false expectations in love. Today though she got off of work and came and got me. I took her to a real nice lunch before she had to leave to go out of town. I even gave her all my cds considering it is 2013 and aint nobody got time for cds. Her car is not compatible though. At the end of it all i ended up ripping holes into her leather seat of her bmw and now i think she is going to hate me even though it was completely accidental. Its a 2003 bmw i figured the leather is just wore out after 10 years. It is not like i meant to do it but you know she has to look at it now. I am already trying to find a repair kit and stuff so i can try to remedy the situation. We had some long talks about previous sexual partners and other things today. It might actually work out but at this point i don't know i will just have to wait until Tuesday to find out. I hope it is not a fling but im not going to say its not. She is older than i am so i would consider her an older woman. I just got out of a relationship with a 22 year old so my perspective on dating 'older women' has gotten messed up. I am overly affectionate and i think that is going to play a huge role in wether or not she is going to contact me again after this weekend. I would say the chance is about 46%. The rip was accidental i hope she can get over it. EDIT: I am going to leave her alone and try to play the i don't care card. Even though its not true but maybe it is what she wants. i will find out soon and hopefully she sticks around. I move through girls to quickly and i would like to just find 'the one' if it even exists anymore. Edited June 8, 2013 by Aristotle edit
hppr Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I would agree he needs to date either younger than 29 OR older than 35. I have tended to not have good experiences courting women from 25-35. It's something about the phase of life they're in which just doesn't sync if you are not a man older than 35. I had problems with women in that age range too. No idea what it was just never seemed to connect with them or even have a good time on a date. Too standoffish and I always felt uncomfortable around them, usually ended up running for the proverbial door. The younger girls and older ladies I dated were lots of fun though, just really carefree, out to have a good time, not expecting a whole lot etc which is how I approach dating (and why I ended up with a girl who is 25). FWIW I think the op should stick to girls who are 18-23. They will be at the same place in life as he is rather than looking for a dad for their kids or someone with a house they can move into.
MomsSpaghetti Posted June 9, 2013 Posted June 9, 2013 I haven't been a member of this forum for very long, but I have to say that I've never seen so many bizarre stories coming out of one place 1
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