Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 ...I don't follow you. Just block him. You're thinking about this all too much. I can't see his profile anyway. It's the fan page that I keep stalking, there isn't an option to block it
CorridorE Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 So get rid of the account for a while and find some new hobbies to pass the time instead of facebook.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 ...I don't follow you. Just block him. You're thinking about this all too much. Yes I am, I think too much about everything! I have two options, I keep Facebook and just fight the urge to look at his fan page, check my new feed, messages ect, then log out. Or I deactivate my account.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Yes I am, I think too much about everything! I have two options, I keep Facebook and just fight the urge to look at his fan page, check my new feed, messages ect, then log out. Or I deactivate my account. Block him from your news feed. It's not hard -- click on the "friends" box next to his name on your friends list and uncheck the "show in news feed" option. Or just block him. And unfollow his band. Problem solved without deactivating. You are really making this a lot more complicated than necessary.
thefooloftheyear Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 thefooloftheyear... My worry is that in LostGirl's case, eventually finding out he's in a new RS will just intensify the urges to fb-stalk. Because for some people it works, but for others who have a difficult time saying no to temptation, that knowledge opens the doors to a thousand new questions - How long have they known eachother, is he happier with her, does he treat her better, and, if deep down she wants him back, have they broken up yet? She said it herself, ignorance is bliss. Cut him out completely. Only then will it start getting better from here. I see your point, thats clearly why I added the "your results may vary" to the end of my post.. BUT One of the BIG problems with total NC is it can fool people into thinking things that just arent true..And that holds them back. The brain will almost instinctively make you believe that they(dumpers) ar sitting at home every night, with dumpers remorse and just waiting for you to call them so you can get back together.. I say nonsense to that...Stick your hand in the wound. See them enjoying themselves with other people..Because you know what happens? HOPE DIES... And hope is the single biggest reason people cant move on.. I am so glad I did what I did..NC was like a nagging wound that just wouldnt heal.. I am so over it I actually feel happy for her..I wont bother, but frankly Id love to call her and wish her all the best. I really do. The ill will is all gone. I still care about her, but I no longer am addicted and obsessed. The way I see it now, she didnt leave me and drop me on my head. She allowed me the opportunity to find something WAY better, which I now see isnt all that hard, actually.. The truth has set me free...Totally TFY
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Block him from your news feed. It's not hard -- click on the "friends" box next to his name on your friends list and uncheck the "show in news feed" option. Or just block him. And unfollow his band. Problem solved without deactivating. You are really making this a lot more complicated than necessary. No, You're not understanding. I'm not friends with him on Facebook, and his profile is set to private. I look at fan page, which I'm not following, so nothing comes up on my new feed. I search it, then look. It isn't set to private.
LostOne1 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Yes I am, I think too much about everything! I have two options, I keep Facebook and just fight the urge to look at his fan page, check my new feed, messages ect, then log out. Or I deactivate my account. Take it this way... take it as a LOSS. it didn't work.. NOTHING you or he does will FIX anything. You WILL NOT get back together. It is OVER... Now that it is OVER.. you need to realize it doesn't matter what he thinks and the only thing that matters is what YOU think. Forget him, he's just trying to live his life, because he wants to FEEL better about what he did with you. Let him deal with the BU his way and you deal it with your OWN way. And that is to slowly let go and put away anything and everything of his. Block all the pages on FB.. in fact DON'T go on FB for a month. Trust me you can LIVE without FB for a month. Do something else you used to do, but haven't had time to do till now. And when you feel the urge to view his stuff or talk to him. Remind yourself that it is OVER.. and NOTHING you do will ever bring you two back. But also look at the future, it means in a few years a new guy will crash into you. So it is NOT the end of the line. All of us found life goes on and we love again and live again.
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 One of the BIG problems with total NC is it can fool people into thinking things that just arent true..And that holds them back. The brain will almost instinctively make you believe that they(dumpers) ar sitting at home every night, with dumpers remorse and just waiting for you to call them so you can get back together.. I say nonsense to that...Stick your hand in the wound. See them enjoying themselves with other people..Because you know what happens? HOPE DIES... And hope is the single biggest reason people cant move on.. I am so glad I did what I did..NC was like a nagging wound that just wouldnt heal.. I am so over it I actually feel happy for her..I wont bother, but frankly Id love to call her and wish her all the best. I really do. The ill will is all gone. I still care about her, but I no longer am addicted and obsessed. The way I see it now, she didnt leave me and drop me on my head. She allowed me the opportunity to find something WAY better, which I now see isnt all that hard, actually.. The truth has set me free...Totally TFY Hmmm. I see your point, and I'm glad that worked for you. For me, I just can't do that. Even though my mind does fabricate a lot of different crap, I still don't think I could handle an update on the ex right now. Maybe in a few more weeks/months, but not right now. I would rather deal with my own imagination than see what is really going on. NC for me
BC1980 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I do agree that seeing my ex with someone else would kill any hope, but I also don't see the need to torture myself. I don't ever have to see him or contact him if I don't want to. We live on different sides of town; our paths won't cross. We used to work together, but thank goodness we don't anymore. That would have been terrible to have to deal with him on a daily basis. NC is the way for me. It was so hard at first, but it gets easier each day. It doesn't make up for what I feel that I lost, but it does put it out of my mind. 2
na49 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 No, You're not understanding. I'm not friends with him on Facebook, and his profile is set to private. I look at fan page, which I'm not following, so nothing comes up on my new feed. I search it, then look. It isn't set to private. Well have you blocked him? It doesn't matter if his profile is set to private, you can still see his profile picture. Block his @ss. Then find some self respect and dignity and stop looking at this fan page. Maybe stay off facebook for a few weeks if you keep looking at it. How does a fan page effect you?
thefooloftheyear Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Hmmm. I see your point, and I'm glad that worked for you. For me, I just can't do that. Even though my mind does fabricate a lot of different crap, I still don't think I could handle an update on the ex right now. Maybe in a few more weeks/months, but not right now. I would rather deal with my own imagination than see what is really going on. NC for me Trust me, my friend... One day soon you might thank me..As long as you are where you are HOPE will be killing you..Whether you like to believe it or not, it will. As long as you dont know, then you can assume that she isnt happy and wants to eventually get back with you... Nonsense..Let it go...free yourself of the pain.. Once you get to that point.... A funny thing will happen..You will begin to breed an air of confidence and swagger. This will get you out of your rut, and alas meet someone that blows your ex out of the water, if thats what you want.. But as long as you remain in this "black cloud over your head" state, then forget about attracting new women....Who wants to be with the wet blanket? Nobody. Hang in there, bro TFY
thefooloftheyear Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I do agree that seeing my ex with someone else would kill any hope, but I also don't see the need to torture myself. I don't ever have to see him or contact him if I don't want to. We live on different sides of town; our paths won't cross. We used to work together, but thank goodness we don't anymore. That would have been terrible to have to deal with him on a daily basis. NC is the way for me. It was so hard at first, but it gets easier each day. It doesn't make up for what I feel that I lost, but it does put it out of my mind. I see what you are saying, but isnt it almost like living with the dull pain of a splinter for months rather than just enduring a bit of pain and take the damned splinter out? I wish you well..Use whatever method works..Just putting another viewpoint out there.. TFY
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Well have you blocked him? It doesn't matter if his profile is set to private, you can still see his profile picture. Block his @ss. Then find some self respect and dignity and stop looking at this fan page. Maybe stay off facebook for a few weeks if you keep looking at it. How does a fan page effect you? It's his fan page for his band, so he posts on there...
mtnbiker3000 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Trust me, my friend... One day soon you might thank me..As long as you are where you are HOPE will be killing you..Whether you like to believe it or not, it will. As long as you dont know, then you can assume that she isnt happy and wants to eventually get back with you... Nonsense..Let it go...free yourself of the pain.. Once you get to that point.... A funny thing will happen..You will begin to breed an air of confidence and swagger. This will get you out of your rut, and alas meet someone that blows your ex out of the water, if thats what you want.. But as long as you remain in this "black cloud over your head" state, then forget about attracting new women....Who wants to be with the wet blanket? Nobody. Hang in there, bro TFY Again, I do see validity in your statement/technique. And, I feel you may be right in terms of my situation as well. I just don't think I can do it yet. I am making progress. It is slow. And it goes back and forth. But it is progress. I know I would have a major set back if I did that... Just not ready yet. Not strong enough yet. Maybe soon, but not yet... 1
na49 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 It's his fan page for his band, so he posts on there... So he posts as his band on there? Or he posts on there with his profile? because if you blocked his profile you wouldn't see his posts.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 So he posts as his band on there? Or he posts on there with his profile? because if you blocked his profile you wouldn't see his posts. It's his page. He created it for his band. So yes, he posts as his band.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Hmmm. I see your point, and I'm glad that worked for you. For me, I just can't do that. Even though my mind does fabricate a lot of different crap, I still don't think I could handle an update on the ex right now. Maybe in a few more weeks/months, but not right now. I would rather deal with my own imagination than see what is really going on. NC for me I wish I wasn't able to see his page. But it's at my finger tips, it's just too easy to look! Which is why I tried to block it, because I wouldn't go to the trouble of unblocking it every time I feel the urge. But there isn't a block option on pages. So annoyed, I can do NC, it's just this!
na49 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 It's his page. He created it for his band. I get that. So he is posting as his band with updates? I don't understand how that hurts you? Unless you were involved with his band?
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 I get that. So he is posting as his band with updates? I don't understand how that hurts you? Unless you were involved with his band? He posts about his gigs so I know where he'll be and he post pictures too...
CorridorE Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I say nonsense to that...Stick your hand in the wound. See them enjoying themselves with other people..Because you know what happens? HOPE DIES... And hope is the single biggest reason people cant move on.. Well, results do vary because in my case, when I found out he was dating, my hope actually grew. This isn't what would happen for most people, but for me it was true because I knew about his new girl from friends who had met her in the past and had heard some absolute horror stories about how awful this girl was. For the first few weeks when he started seeing her my false hope grew because I thought after being with her for a while, he might miss how good I was to him and realize his mistake. Didn't happen, but everyone's thought process is different. Here... I still think not knowing would be best, and is usually best in most cases.
na49 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 He posts about his gigs so I know where he'll be and he post pictures too... Okay well sadly the only way you can stop yourself from seeing that is to gather up enough self control to just not look at it. I'd say stay off facebook all together but that's probably not possible. You should understand that whether he misses you or not, he's not going to put his life on hold so he's going to continue doing his thing with his band. You shouldn't be putting your life on hold either.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 It's his page. He created it for his band. So yes, he posts as his band. Then stop going to the page.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Then stop going to the page. Easier said than done.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 8, 2013 Posted June 8, 2013 Easier said than done. Not really. You just have to do it. No excuses play like a champion.
Author LostGirl11 Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 Not really. You just have to do it. No excuses play like a champion. I hate modern technology. Take me back to a time where you weren't able to call/text/email/facebook/twitter! The only way you were able to talk/see your ex was to write a letter or turn up at their door.
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