not doing so well

[kameron]

I have been no contact for a week yet I'm hurting so bad inside. I'm looking at the breakup in a different perspective. How can a girl love you for 2 years live with you for 2 years then just throw you away for her ex boyfriend when you did nothing wrong. Who just kicks there boyfriend out after 2 years and moves there ex in 3 days later. I'm just so hurt because I did everything for this girl and she threw me away so easily. The pain is overbearing. I'm remaining no contact. She hasn't even tried to contact me. She blocked me on fb removed me brother and kept some of my friends and my moms boyfriend as a friend. She didn't block my number. I'm so confused if she was trying to move on wouldn't she block my number and remove my friends and my moms boyfriend.

[Giha]

Instead of wondering about all this stuff, do yourself a favor and block her yourself.

[kameron]

She already blocked me. She doesn't want to be friends nothing. Just cut me out of her life. How can someone be so cold. I was a good boyfriend.

[Giha]

I meant her number. Did you block it as well?

Also how do you know who she removed? did they tell you?

 

I know it's tough. A good boyfriend doesn't deserve a spit in the face and you should understand that in this situation it is all on her. You deserve better, mate, and you'll find it. Just hang in there. It gets better.

[Chi townD]

Sorry dude, you were the rebound. She was biding her time until, all of the sudden, her Ex started showing interest in her again and you got the boot. It's kind of telling that she moved him in three days after you left.

 

I speculate that her Ex fell on hard times, had no where else to go, so he contacted your girlfriend. One call from him and you were yesterday's news and screwing up YOUR life. But, I also speculate that once this douche rocket gets on his feet again, he's gone. They're probably not going to last.

 

So, it's important that you start to heal and go full NC on her. Make positive changes in your life and start moving on. I have a feeling that, sooner or later, she's going to reach out to you. Why? Because there's a reason why our Ex's are our Ex's. The honeymoon phase is going to wear off and the little things that pissed her off about him will come to the surface and she'll realize that she threw away a good thing.

 

When that happens, I'm hoping you'll be strong enough to tell her to get bent.

[kameron]

Yea they told me she still has them as a friend. I guess i should block her number. The pain is so bad when a man has put all of his love into one girl. Made her his world. Was faithful cared about her. Only to be thrown away for an ex bf who she left because she was unhappy

[kameron]

Chi townD. I don't think I was a rebound she left this guy because she was extremely unhappy. She found happiness in me. We were perfect together we did everything together. We were in love. So after 2 years she tells me she misses him and tells me she made a mistake leaving him. I think time healed all the negativity about him. I think she forgot that she was unhappy, or why she was unhappy with him. She let a good man go.

[Giha]

How long since she broke up with him to when you two got into a relationship?

[kameron]

She broke up with him right after Christmas the same night he left she called me over to stay the night. We hung out 3 weeks before she left him. We met in school. I am 24 and she is 23

[Chi townD]

Chi townD. I don't think I was a rebound she left this guy because she was extremely unhappy. She found happiness in me. We were perfect together we did everything together. We were in love. So after 2 years she tells me she misses him and tells me she made a mistake leaving him. I think time healed all the negativity about him. I think she forgot that she was unhappy, or why she was unhappy with him. She let a good man go.

 

 

Uh..huh...

 

Okay, if she left him because she was extremely unhappy. Then, why is she with him over you? If she was unhappy, then logic would dictate that she would, again, be unhappy.

 

The fact probably is, is that she continued to carry a torch for this guy throughout your relationship. Which is totally unfair to you. But, she stayed with you because you were safe and secure. And the fact that there was no relationship anymore with the Ex. But, the first time the Ex showed interest in her again. She dropped you.

 

Now, here's the rub. MOST girls will not leave until they have something else set up. She was not going to leave the safety and security of you UNLESS she was sure that the Ex was onboard. Thus, it leads me to believe that she was communicating and probably seeing him WHILE she was with you. Hence, she was cheating on you. It only makes sense because she was comfortable enough to move him in just a mere 72 hours after breaking up with you. No mourning the loss of you or mourning the loss of the relationship. None.

 

That's not the type of girl you want in your life. Time to move on, dude. Sorry, but you got used.

[Shapeshifter]

kameron,

 

I feel your pain. I have almost the same story. My boyfriend was with me for almost two years after breaking up with his last girlfriend. They had been on-off for the last year of their 3-4 year relationship and had broken up "for good" about 3 months before we met. He had even dated a couple of other people already, so I didn't really worry that I was in rebound territory.

 

I knew she had been the one to make the break. I also knew that she had regrets and was contacting him, expressing love, etc. But this was just occasional and ended after a couple of months. After that, viola! We were blissfully happy. We did not move in together, but the relationship was just getting better and better and better . . .

 

. . . and then one day he told me that she had contacted him again and "a little green shoot" of love for her was growing back inside him so he thought he just had to go back and give it one more try with her because maybe she was "the love of his life."

 

I was absolutely bulldozed over. The pain was overwhelming. Worse than going through my divorce had been a few years earlier.

 

The three things I want to say to you are:

 

1) You may be lucky that she has broken contact. In my case, he was very waffly about the whole thing for awhile, strung me along with false hope, and then still wanted to be my friend. This just prolonged the horror show for me.

 

2) It does get better. It may take a few months, but if you focus on yourself, on taking care of what you need to feel stronger, it will get better. See a therapist if you need to. This is the worst kind of messed up crap that anyone can do to another person's heart and head, so feeling like a truck ran over you is completely normal. It WILL get better.

 

3) Let her go. This has nothing to do with whether or not you will ever get back together. It has to do with recognizing that this particular phase of the relationship is over for good. You can have another great relationship after you heal. Let the universe open up and decide for you who that next relationship will be with.

[kameron]

No she begged for him to give her another chance. She spilled her heart to him telling him how sorry she was and how she made a mistake leaving him. This guy was her first love. I just don't see how the girl I once knew was so unhappy with this guy, talked about how it was the best decision in the world to leave him. Then in 2 years regrets it. I'm not saying I'm perfect. We fought just like any couple does. But I treated her right I loved her. I always felt like I put more into the relationship then she did. She had strong affection issues.

[Shapeshifter]

She had strong affection issues.

 

Yes. Nothing is ever completely a one-way street, but most of this mess is undoubtedly about her issues.

 

Run for your life.

[kameron]

Shapeshifter. I'm sorry you had to go threw this as well. I personally think this is one of the worst breakups. You just feel so used. I spent so much time and money on this relationship only to be thrown away. I put my heart on the line. This girl broke it with no remorse she is distant and cold. No sorry nothing. She took a chance and left me for her ex boyfriend. This girl lives in the moment and makes decisions in the moment. She is in the honeymoon fase of her old relationship therefore she is happy probably really happy. This guy is probably promising her all sorts of things. The honeymoon fase will wear off she she will see him for who he really is. By that time she will most likely reach out to me. I will not take her back.

[aloneinaz]

Kameron,

 

I know it sucks but keep posting here and reading here for support. As you can see from this site, sadly, this happens all the time. People get blind sided and it F'ing hurts! My ex and I broke up recently w/her making the final decision after I told her I didn't like how she talked to me when she was stressed/pissed or overwhelmed w/her day. We'd broken up three times this year for short periods and I really wanted to make it work. I also knew the last two months that there probably wasn't a long term thing here. This after 14 months.

 

My point is, even though I know I'm better off w/out her, I still hurt like hell too. It's hard to go from seeing/talking to someone multiple times a day to zero. Oh, she just joined a dating site as well. So.. there's lots of us in pain right now and we just need to cope as best we can and move on w/our lives.

[kameron]

Skid mark. Why would anyone want there girlfriend or boyfriend to go back to there ex.

[kameron]

I think I was the rebound in this situation. She was with him for 3 years left him for me was with me for 2 years then went back to him. Idk who is the rebound.

[Shapeshifter]

I will not take her back.

 

Good. Stay strong bro.

[kameron]

Why is the power of love so strong. Even the ones that hurt us the most we still tend to care about them. It's horrible. I wish I could just let go and never look back. But my downfall is I get attached easy and when I love I love with everything in me.