Contemplating Suicide

[RangerJeremiah]

It's gonna be ok friend. No woman (or any person) is worth killing yourself over.

You have better things coming. You are extremely young and just getting started.

[SharkTooth]

6262, Wow, If you didn't know, Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem Get over it. Start acting like a man. You're not a weak little boy, you're a man who has been hurt, a pain that we all know can be the worst in our lives. That doesn't mean you just give up. Life has so much to offer. Death has nothing to offer. I get it. You, me, everyone here has lost their love, best friend, their rock, lover, companion, our confidence, self worth, happiness, our feeling of being invincible, and to top it off, all in one sweeping blow. I don't think words can fully describe the pain.

 

It happened to me in November of last year. Today, I'm 100% back to my old self. It's all about patients and knowing that it doesn't get better overnight. One day at a time as they say. The one thing that helped me was to always have something to look forward to during the week or upcoming weekends. Like for every weekend make plans in advance. Whether it's a movie and dinner with friends, or an afternoon fishing, shopping, or whatever. Just getting over a weekend and know that you have something going on the next week or weekend is great. Actually, it was the way I lived my life and I had forgotten about it while I went thru the heal. Come back here often to "talk". I guarantee everyone here's friends got real tired of hearing about our failed relationship. Patients! It's one of the hardest lessons to learn but I am 110% certain that you will be fine and 5 years from now, you'll shake your head at yourself about this whole ordeal.

 

BTW, I came here today just to check on a few folks. It's been a while. The problems are the same, just the names have changed. Everyone in their lives have experienced break ups. So you are never alone there.

[Anela]

I just read this on Facebook:

 

Pablo Neruda says:

 

Now we will count to twelve

and we will all keep still.

 

For once on the face of the earth

let's not speak in any language,

let's stop for one second,

and not move our arms so much.

 

It would be an exotic moment

without rush, without engines,

we would all be together

in a sudden strangeness.

 

Fishermen in the cold sea

would not harm whales

and the man gathering salt

would look at his hurt hands.

 

Those who prepare green wars,

wars with gas, wars with fire,

victory with no survivors,

would put on clean clothes

and walk about with their brothers

in the shade, doing nothing.

 

What I want should not be confused

with total inactivity.

Life is what it is about;

I want no truck with death.

If we were not so single-minded

about keeping our lives moving,

and for once could do nothing,

perhaps a huge silence

might interrupt this sadness

of never understanding ourselves

and of threatening ourselves with death.

Perhaps the earth can teach us

as when everything seems dead

and later proves to be alive.

 

Now I'll count up to twelve

and you keep quiet and I will go.

 

- from "Keeping Quiet" by Pablo Neruda,

translated by Alastair Reid

 

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Image: http://tinyurl.com/m9my9t4

[Feelin Frisky]

You are in crisis mode. Things will only start getting better when you learn to avoid thinking that leads you into crisis. Get help for crisis now. Just yield to the system for now. You're in danger from yourself. Your only good direction is away from these feelings and beliefs and if you need help to get there, please take it. I tried to do myself in once. I know how it feels to lose hope and feel cornered. But I was also sick and my reasoning was flawed. Often suicides are bungled and you wind up living in worse conditions. Just let go and submit to help. It's OK. Expect it to take a year or two to recover but it's so worth it.

[bugera6262]

I posted a new thread but I would like to think what you all think. I am feeling much better than when I posted this. Honestly thanks to NC. But I still get down, but not as much. Im still looking for people to talk to in person like group therapy. this is my situation now because Im going back home soon

 

Ok anyone that has read my original post knows what my situation is. I will make it short. Me and ex went out for 2 and a half years, we move with her dad in another state. She dumps me and leaves me in this state with her dad. We maintain of and on nc.

 

She thinks Im bringing the rest of her stuff back to her when I come back home. Should I? Or should I leave it here and have her figure it out like she left me. I know normal people would say yeah screw her, but im a good person and I always think of karma and crap.

[TaraMaiden]

Ask her dad to contact her and to let her know you're leaving all her stuff with him for 'safekeeping'. It's all there, safe, and whenever she wants it, she can come by and visit.

 

Tell him to do this as you're leaving, so it's too late for you to take it with you....

It's her stuff, her dad. Let her take responsibility.

 

Not your problem.

[bugera6262]

Thank you, I just have a sick amount of empathy where I imagine myself feeling bad for not helping her get her stuff back.... Why am I such a wimp about this.

[dreamliver7]

This is a cry for help.

 

If any of you have read my first post you would know the situation im in now. I have no one it feels. The few people I talked to about it are already growing tired of me being depressed and I have only been talking to them for a week. Im just so angry, hurt, and so sad. Its effecting the only thing I have now which is my job. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING reminds me of my ex. Its gotten to the point where the only way I can fall asleep is imagining myself dying..

 

We weren't perfect, we argued way more than any couple ever should over little things which is why she said she was done..... But as soon as we broke up she moved onto multiple men... But we had a connection that i feel I could never have with another person. I cant even pick out a situation where there were bad times in my mind, even though I know there was PLENTY. But all I can remember is good amazing times..

 

My credit was ruined due to this situation, so its effecting me getting back to my home state to get my own place and be closer to family. I just cant take one more bump in the road, I cant. This girl kept me going and made me stronger, with her I could over come any obstacle.

 

Please tell me the truth guys. Will it get better? Will i find someone to make me feel the way she did? Can I ever be happy again and forget about her? I need to know these things so i can have a shred more hope to go on.

I think many of us have had this thought in the past and all of us laugh at ourselves for having that thought now considering how that experience has helped/is helping us to be better in life!

 

A piece of advice is to keep your self occupied with something for the next few days/weeks. It can be anything like reading, sports, work... just get engrossed and don't let the mind tell you that it is too tired because it is never tired during obsessing

 

You'll get through this... and remember, we are all here for you whenver you need us. We love you and you are not alone.

[sweetheart5381]

Thank you, I just have a sick amount of empathy where I imagine myself feeling bad for not helping her get her stuff back.... Why am I such a wimp about this.

 

You are not a wimp for having empathy. Empathy is a natural feeling for anyone with any decent amount of emotional intelligence.

 

In your case, I would suggest that you STOP with the negative self-talk and focus on the things about yourself that you like, respect and wish to improve.

 

Being a cold, hard bastard will not make you feel better. When you accept and love yourself NO ONE and NOTHING can make you feel like a "wimp".

 

Go absolute NC. No help at all. She is a grown woman who makes decisions for herself that you are in no way responsible for.

[Dundas]

My girlfriend of 2 yrs. 7 mos. broke up with me for another dude 2 months ago. I haven't found another girl yet, but I've been talking to a couple and hanging out with them and friends from time to time. I work with my ex and her family too. It still kills me. But I'm getting over it! It's getting better every day. I know it's hard, but trust me - NO CONTACT! (Or minimal contact, as in working situation)

You WILL get over her, I promise! The first 2 weeks were the hardest - I was constantly calling her, crying - couldn't eat or sleep at all! I felt like I was dying, I even called her from a large tower threatening to jump. Now, I look back and realize I overreacted... It was just so hard because we were SO close and all of a sudden... she wasn't there!

You will get over this with time, and you will find someone else! I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, but I am looking for some fun! I myself still need time to heal because I know I still love her with all my heart... but the thing is, slowly... I don't even want her anymore!

Once you realize she no longer cares, you'll start to stop caring too... it's the end of your relationship with one girl, and no matter how much you had with her - there are plenty of girls out there that WILL accept you and appreciate you for who you are. Hang in there!

[supaflyz]

Nothing or no one is worth taking your life over my friend. You are in a difficult situation right now I understand. I'm also in a similar situation as you. I feel as though we get along well and the connection was great. I also find it hard to imagine there is another person out there that I could connect on a deep level as my ex. I happen to also just graduate. I'm suppose to be happy, but the breakup has left me in a limbo state of mind. I'm not motivated to do anything. I just recently began to workout and jog again. It definitely helps. However, it is the summer now and I have a lot of time to think which makes me sad. My friends are also tired of me talking about the situation and being depress. She wants nothing to do with me anymore which makes it even worse. How could the person that tells you that they love you so much and care for you behave that way. It will get better though my friend. Don't ever consider suicide over someone. Things will get better.

[bugera6262]

My girlfriend of 2 yrs. 7 mos. broke up with me for another dude 2 months ago. I haven't found another girl yet, but I've been talking to a couple and hanging out with them and friends from time to time. I work with my ex and her family too. It still kills me. But I'm getting over it! It's getting better every day. I know it's hard, but trust me - NO CONTACT! (Or minimal contact, as in working situation)

You WILL get over her, I promise! The first 2 weeks were the hardest - I was constantly calling her, crying - couldn't eat or sleep at all! I felt like I was dying, I even called her from a large tower threatening to jump. Now, I look back and realize I overreacted... It was just so hard because we were SO close and all of a sudden... she wasn't there!

You will get over this with time, and you will find someone else! I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, but I am looking for some fun! I myself still need time to heal because I know I still love her with all my heart... but the thing is, slowly... I don't even want her anymore!

Once you realize she no longer cares, you'll start to stop caring too... it's the end of your relationship with one girl, and no matter how much you had with her - there are plenty of girls out there that WILL accept you and appreciate you for who you are. Hang in there!

 

Wow this is EXACTLY EXACTLY pin point how I am. It feels so good to know Im not the only one! Arent the worst part of your days when you wake up? Like your used to waking up next to her. Yeah... Thats the saddest part of my day, then I realize I need to move on. And go out and meet people.

[denxnis]

I had an identical post about 7 months ago.

 

To make a long story short I hit rock bottom after losing a girl I'd been with for nearly 6 years. Rather than hiding under a rock for months on end I used all of the built up hate and frustration to make something better of myself.

 

Nearly everyone gets content with the lifestyle they have and don't want to put in the extra effort to improve themselves and/or their lifestyle. Finding a new and better girlfriend will take a LOT of work but it will be worth it and you will be happier and more mature than you've ever been. You can be the ugliest, dumbest, and/or poorest person in the world but if you work hard you can and will find a better more caring person to share your life with.

 

With all that said you will have to work through this, nothing great in life comes easy.

[TaraMaiden]

^^^ this.^^^

 

 

Superb post.

 

Well done denxnis.

 

Thumbs up mate.