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Contemplating Suicide

bugera6262

By bugera6262
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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bugera6262 Member

bugera6262

Posted
Posted

This is a cry for help.

 

If any of you have read my first post you would know the situation im in now. I have no one it feels. The few people I talked to about it are already growing tired of me being depressed and I have only been talking to them for a week. Im just so angry, hurt, and so sad. Its effecting the only thing I have now which is my job. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING reminds me of my ex. Its gotten to the point where the only way I can fall asleep is imagining myself dying..

 

We weren't perfect, we argued way more than any couple ever should over little things which is why she said she was done..... But as soon as we broke up she moved onto multiple men... But we had a connection that i feel I could never have with another person. I cant even pick out a situation where there were bad times in my mind, even though I know there was PLENTY. But all I can remember is good amazing times.. :(

 

My credit was ruined due to this situation, so its effecting me getting back to my home state to get my own place and be closer to family. I just cant take one more bump in the road, I cant. This girl kept me going and made me stronger, with her I could over come any obstacle.

 

Please tell me the truth guys. Will it get better? Will i find someone to make me feel the way she did? Can I ever be happy again and forget about her? I need to know these things so i can have a shred more hope to go on.

Lonleyboy13 Member

Lonleyboy13

Posted
Posted

It will get better i promise you. Stay strong and look at the positives you are just going through a rough patch.

 

You will be ok

  • Like 3
KPChick000 Established Member

KPChick000

Posted
Posted

It WILL get better and you won't forever feel this bad. The feelings are just so raw right now, but I promise with time you will gradually feel better. She is not the only girl in the world- you will find others. I know it's hard to accept right now, but it is the truth.

 

Stay strong! She wouldn't want to see you this way. Everyone has these bad days and we all get through them. Don't be afraid of asking for help from family, friends, or therapy.

  • Like 3
mammasita Established Member

mammasita

Posted
Posted

It always gets better. Even when we're at the lowest of the low, the only way to go is up.

  • Like 2
itto ogami Established Member

itto ogami

Posted
Posted

Your life has FAR MORE VALUE than your relationship with an ex.

 

And it's understandable to feel so low - BUT THIS IS A FEELING.

 

IT WILL PASS.

 

All of us here have been on the floor, crying, spent, etc.

 

But YOU WILL MOVE ON. Because there is a BETTER PERSON waiting for you.

 

Call somebody but do not contemplate suicide. It is NOT A SOLUTION.

  • Like 5
KathyM Established Member

KathyM

Posted
Posted

I haven't read your other thread yet, but I do want to assure you that it WILL get better. You will get over her and go on to enjoy the company of someone else, and have a relationship with someone else that you care about. I know it feels like a great loss right now, and it's hard to imagine your life without this person, but you will be able to move on from this. Please see a counselor and talk this out with her/him. If you're feeling suicidal, please call a crisis hotline. There are things you can do to improve your mood, which you should be doing on a daily basis:

 

1. Get exercise (1/2 hour per day).

 

2. Eat more fish (seriously, fish oil helps with depression).

 

3. Keep a gratitude journal (write down three things every day that you are grateful for so that you don't lose sight of what is positive in your life).

 

4. Plan a day once a week when you do something you enjoy doing. Call a buddy and go to a sporting event, call a sibling or a parent or a friend and meet them for lunch or dinner, whatever things you enjoy doing that you can still enjoy.

 

5. Do something nice for someone else. Volunteer your time to a worthwhile cause. Nothing like helping someone else to make you feel better about your situation and yourself.

 

These are things you can do to help yourself recover from this. It will get better if you don't allow this one relationship to define your life.

  • Like 6
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Dude, no girl is EVER worth ending your life over. NOT ONE!!! If you off'd yourself, what do you think will happen? You're Ex will find out and she'll be sad and have a little guilt; maybe even visit your grave once. But, you know what will happen then? She'll get over it and move on with her life and you'll be nothing but a distant memory. Suicide is never the solution.

 

If you're that bad off, then get yourself to the Emergency Room. Like, NOW!!!

 

You need to talk to a professional and probably be placed on antidepressants. Nothing wrong with taking medication to get through the hard times. You need to see a therapist. We'll always listen here on LS, but you need to talk to someone that is professionally trained to handle what you're going through. There's nothing wrong with getting outside help. It's not a sign of weakness. Actually, admitting that you need help shows a lot of strength.

 

Get some help, we'll be here whe you're ready to reclaim your life.

  • Like 4
mtnbiker3000 Established Member

mtnbiker3000

Posted
Posted

Stomach in knots? Feel burning heat radiating outward from the inside? Light headed? Joints aching? Sweating? Feel like you could vomit at any second?

 

If you answered yes to any or all of these, then I/we know what you are feeling. Like nothing you've ever felt before, right? Yes it is quite terrible...

 

Right now, you just need some time. It is still so raw and fresh. I promise in a few days, you will fell differently! Is it hard? Will it take time? Yes, but you can do it!! We can all do it!!

 

Please do NOT hurt yourself.

  • Like 5
crazy1234 Established Member

crazy1234

Posted
Posted
This is a cry for help.

 

If any of you have read my first post you would know the situation im in now. I have no one it feels. The few people I talked to about it are already growing tired of me being depressed and I have only been talking to them for a week. Im just so angry, hurt, and so sad. Its effecting the only thing I have now which is my job. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING reminds me of my ex. Its gotten to the point where the only way I can fall asleep is imagining myself dying..

 

We weren't perfect, we argued way more than any couple ever should over little things which is why she said she was done..... But as soon as we broke up she moved onto multiple men... But we had a connection that i feel I could never have with another person. I cant even pick out a situation where there were bad times in my mind, even though I know there was PLENTY. But all I can remember is good amazing times.. :(

 

My credit was ruined due to this situation, so its effecting me getting back to my home state to get my own place and be closer to family. I just cant take one more bump in the road, I cant. This girl kept me going and made me stronger, with her I could over come any obstacle.

 

Please tell me the truth guys. Will it get better? Will i find someone to make me feel the way she did? Can I ever be happy again and forget about her? I need to know these things so i can have a shred more hope to go on.

Ofcourse u will,undoubtedly.We all do and are you trying to tell me you wont get married ever and when you do you wont love that person you'r going to have kids with?who'll be with you more than this girl who couldnt even respect you enough to stay a little low on men for your sake?No,you have to get over this.You need to get over this.We all have been in situations we just wanna die but is one person really enough for all that?what you'r going through is nothing but a rough patch.It will get better after some time.Time is the only thing that will help you and nothing else.Till then please stay busy as much as you can.You need it more than i think any one of us did.I went through **** too.I'v been cheated on and ignored for some new girl who happens to just come out of nowhere and he forgets all my years and years of loyalty..lol so trust me when i say you will be fine.Just hang in there love.

  • Like 1
headsashed Established Member

headsashed

Posted
Posted

DO NOT DO IT... No 1 or nothing is worth taking your life over,believe me, ive been where you are and so have many others, the suicidal thoughts etc,thing is, I actually acted on these thoughts and attempted suicide,once caught by the ex too. Im totally over my ex but I will have these scars for the rest of my life which will remind me of the biggest mistake I ever made. I too was like you, couldn't see any happiness in the future or anything, my life was running down the drain and everything was going wrong, but after the suicide attempts I turned my life around with help of people on here and friends/family etc,but it was mainly down to me wanting to get better,and so I did. Im happy now,even though im single im still as happy as chitown when he gets a private message from me. So ye, life does and will get better, just stay strong my friend, vent here if need be and if your suicidal thoughts get too strong then ring the hotline or go see a doctor, I did both and it helped. Happiness isn't far away,that I promise :)

  • Like 3
DannyMason Established Member

DannyMason

Posted
Posted

You'll be okay, OP.

 

:bunny::bunny::bunny:Internet snuggles!:bunny::bunny::bunny:

  • Like 2
landshark Member

landshark

Posted
Posted

Man, I'm not going to duplicate what others have said, it's all good advice...I've been through some rough **** but nothing as bad as what I'm going through right now. Go to the mirror, NOW...and look at yourself HARD and go through your life. Find the good and then the great. Think about people you've touched and those who have touched you. Then look at your future, it will be brighter. Think about someone that you can contact right now DO IT...and get together with them, appreciate them...then do something nice for them or some random stranger...and then write it down, get back to me and tell me how it goes...

Anela Established Member

Anela

Posted
Posted

I've been feeling the same way, only not over one person.

 

You can get over a person, it's other things that hurt me. After a while, you will realize that you're better off without them; I know, because I feel that way now.

  • Like 3
pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
We weren't perfect, we argued way more than any couple ever should over little things which is why she said she was done..... But as soon as we broke up she moved onto multiple men...

 

When you find yourself romanticizing your relationship, remember this.

 

No matter what connection you had, she was NOT the one for you.

 

What's that saying... some love is for a reason, some for a season, and some for a lifetime.

 

She was in your life for a reason... to teach you how to love and to open your heart to possibilities. But there is another woman out there who will be The One. She will benefit from the lessons you are learning now about love and loss and heartbreak.

 

Be strong. KathyM has some great advice. Make sure you are doing things that give your life meaning and purpose.

 

Suicide is not the answer. This is an opportunity for growth, and the pain you are feeling is growing pain. It hurts so bad, but the pain is your heart growing, so that your next love can be even more powerful.

 

There is much in this situation that is out of your control... what she did, what she's doing, how she left... but something that IS in your control is the meaning that you give to your pain.

 

Another thing I would do is work on different imagery to fall asleep by. What you think of creates your reality. So by thinking of dying, you are feeding your desire to end your life. INSTEAD, think of something that would make you happy. Think of when you were a child, and the happiest place you hung out. Think of your happiest memory. Imagine your dream vacation.

 

And if thinking happy thoughts isn't working, think of "what would you do" scenarios... imagine you are stranded on an island. Imagine the zombie apocalypse is reality. The point is to do something purposeful and helpful, even if it is only in your own mind... remember, what you think of creates your reality. (not that you are a master zombie slayer, but that you are a person who reacts quickly and thinks sharply LOL).

 

Grief is a process... give yourself room to grieve the loss of your relationship too. That's part of healing.

 

You WILL get through this, and you will go on to something greater. Breeeeeaaaaathe, and feel the air enter and leave your body. That's all you HAVE to do.

  • Like 10
landshark Member

landshark

Posted
Posted

Mom, thank you, I've printed this off. Read my original thread, your words are to live by. I suffer but for a reason. Love this girl to death but it was either for a season and/or a reason...

  • Like 3
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bugera6262 Member

bugera6262

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Pteromom, your post made me cry. You are right about her being a learning lesson. That thought helps me think that everything I did for her wasn't a waste. Thank you all very much. Im up and down all the time, is there any place I can talk to someone. I dont have money for therapy.

pteromom Established Member

pteromom

Posted
Posted
Pteromom, your post made me cry. You are right about her being a learning lesson. That thought helps me think that everything I did for her wasn't a waste. Thank you all very much. Im up and down all the time, is there any place I can talk to someone. I dont have money for therapy.

 

*hug*

 

It wasn't a waste at all.

 

In time, you will be able to look back on your time with her and see the beauty in it. You'll be able to honestly hold a glass up to the moon, and think to her "Wherever you are, if you are looking up at the same moon, I hope you are having a lovely life."

 

And you will say it with a smile and you will mean it with all your heart.

 

But there is a lot of healing to be done between now and then.

 

As far as therapy... if you truly are contemplating suicide, please do call the suicide hotline. It sounds pathetic and cliche, but they are trained to talk to you, and they will have resources for you that we simply do not have here on Loveshack. So consider that. Yeah, it takes the guts to dial the number, but then you'll have someone to talk to.

 

Read. If you have a library near you, check out books on divorce and breakups. Check out books on self-empowerment and positive thinking and taking control of your life. Some of them will be corny BS, but you never know where you will find some inspiration.

 

You can also use Google. Find websites, videos, etc. bpdfamily.com is a website created for people with family with BPD, but it has great lessons on radical acceptance, creating boundaries for yourself, etc.

 

You can keep posting here too, of course, but the thing about LS is that we aren't professionals, and some of us are pretty messed up ourselves, so getting advice here is like the blind leading the blind. You can search for nuggets of wisdom and shoulders to cry on, but you want to take anything you read here with a grain of salt.

 

You'll be OK. You will. This is the bottom, and there is nowhere to go but up.

  • Like 2
BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted
This girl kept me going and made me stronger, with her I could over come any obstacle.

 

Please tell me the truth guys. Will it get better? Will i find someone to make me feel the way she did? Can I ever be happy again and forget about her? I need to know these things so i can have a shred more hope to go on.

 

You can be strong by yourself. You do not need another person to make you happy or make you feel the way she made you feel. As unfortunate as the situation is, you can use this as an opportunity to create a new identity for yourself. Honestly, doing so saved me. My life was so intertwined with my ex's that I didn't even realize who I really was until I was forced to. But you know what, I am making a life for myself outside of him. Hurts an awful lot sometimes, but I really have been saved by forging my own identity.

  • Like 2
Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted
Pteromom, your post made me cry. You are right about her being a learning lesson. That thought helps me think that everything I did for her wasn't a waste. Thank you all very much. Im up and down all the time, is there any place I can talk to someone. I dont have money for therapy.

 

 

Yeah, talk with the folks on the hotline. They can help you and perhaps direct you to some support groups in your area if affording therapy is problematic. Those are usually free and it would be good to hear from other that are having a hard time of things.

 

Just remember, suicide isn't the answer. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

Dude, you may be one heartbreak away from the person you're truly meant to be with.

  • Like 2
pureinheart Established Member

pureinheart

Posted
Posted
I've been feeling the same way, only not over one person.

 

You can get over a person, it's other things that hurt me. After a while, you will realize that you're better off without them; I know, because I feel that way now.

 

Anela, just to let you know, I don't "like" what you're going through, I like that you shared

 

(((((great big hugs to everyone))))

 

OP, I can't top what others have shared...just (((((((((((hugs))))))))))

  • Like 1
HokeyReligions Established Member

HokeyReligions

Posted
Posted

Yes it will get better. Call a crisis hotline. Talk to a live person now. Ask them to help you find a doctor to see you now to get something to help you SHORT TERM and reccomend a group that maybe you can go to. Try the United Way and your family to get enough money to get to them. A doctor can help you take a medical leave from work so you don't lose your job. I know these things from personal experience. YES IT WILL GET BETTER and getting help now will also help you in the future with all of life's smaller ups and downs.

Ordinaryday Established Member

Ordinaryday

Posted
Posted

Don't do it. I'm gonna offer you different advice than the majority here, who say things like "don't, it will get better" or "you have SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR" because I don't know if it is true in either of those cases. sometimes it doesn't get better and some people DON'T have "so much to live for".

 

to me it is more simple: if you kill yourself you will forever be remembered as a coward who could not handle his problems and took the easy way out. I certainly would never give my ex that satisfaction, don't give it to her either.

  • Like 2
J_L_C Established Member

J_L_C

Posted
Posted
Don't do it. I'm gonna offer you different advice than the majority here, who say things like "don't, it will get better" or "you have SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR" because I don't know if it is true in either of those cases. sometimes it doesn't get better and some people DON'T have "so much to live for".

 

to me it is more simple: if you kill yourself you will forever be remembered as a coward who could not handle his problems and took the easy way out. I certainly would never give my ex that satisfaction, don't give it to her either.

 

What about people like me who have suffered for 10months and are no farther ahead? Been thru therapy and nothing helps? I'm a prisoner to my thoughts and feelings that I just can't seem to break free from. Sometimes I think ending it all is the only way to make this pain end.

latergater Established Member

latergater

Posted
Posted (edited)
This is a cry for help.

 

If any of you have read my first post you would know the situation im in now. I have no one it feels. The few people I talked to about it are already growing tired of me being depressed and I have only been talking to them for a week. Im just so angry, hurt, and so sad. Its effecting the only thing I have now which is my job. Everything and I mean EVERYTHING reminds me of my ex. Its gotten to the point where the only way I can fall asleep is imagining myself dying..

 

We weren't perfect, we argued way more than any couple ever should over little things which is why she said she was done..... But as soon as we broke up she moved onto multiple men... But we had a connection that i feel I could never have with another person. I cant even pick out a situation where there were bad times in my mind, even though I know there was PLENTY. But all I can remember is good amazing times.. :(

 

My credit was ruined due to this situation, so its effecting me getting back to my home state to get my own place and be closer to family. I just cant take one more bump in the road, I cant. This girl kept me going and made me stronger, with her I could over come any obstacle.

 

Please tell me the truth guys. Will it get better? Will i find someone to make me feel the way she did? Can I ever be happy again and forget about her? I need to know these things so i can have a shred more hope to go on.

 

You say you have nobody. You do! You have all of us on this site ... We are all here to support you. Listen ..the pain of losing an ex can be the worst possible. It's going to hurt like hell for a while but you need to know ..it does get better. Please don't get frustrated nor expect it to pass anytime soon, but in time it will feel less painful than it does today and you will be so much stronger, wiser, happier when you arrive on the other side having gone through this. people have compared heartbreak to the death of a family member or getting clean after having a drug addiction Everyone feels terrible during the first few months, even suicidal. it will pass! do not let your mind take over by thinking about your ex endlessly? You can control it .... When you feel yourself obsessing about it, tell yourself to stop! Don't let your mind control you. You control it. And remember, you are not alone!!! Hang in there and don't you dare do anything stupid. We are all routing for you. ;)

Edited by latergater
L1ght Established Member

L1ght

Posted
Posted

I wasn't gonna comment on this topic because of the sensitive nature of it but I decided I would comment but choose my words wisely so I don't appear to be completely insensitive to it. To be honest I'm the type of guy who always ends up seeing a brighter day ahead even in the darkest of days so that's one of the reasons that personally I struggle to relate to people who seriously consider suicide. The only advice I will give is that if any of you guys are truly looking for answers and truly want to find a way out of the darkness then you have to look within yourself and stop caring about what other people think or how they perceive you as a human being. Be selfish and ask your self exactly what it is you need to do and what it is possible for you to do that will help you build self esteem and confidence.....then TAKE ACTION! no more sitting around in the dark feeling sorry about the failings in your life, its time to get out in the world and live your life for yourself and do things for the benefit of yourself...honestly BE SELFISH! think about number1 and get back to living.

Good Luck!

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