Premiumrush Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 So my wife is a workaholic and we have a 3 yr old. She works from like 9 am till about 9 at night sometimes earlier or later. When she is home she is on her phone checking her schedule and ordering her things for work. Our toddler will ask her questions and she just gives the nod or the mmmm hmmmm. But not really looking at her. When she is home it feels weird kinda like the roommate that shows up every once in a while. She has been like this with the crazy schedule for a little over 2 yrs. I know that she is missing out on who she is growing and is not being a part of it. One day i went to the store and a stranger said how cute my daughter is and if this is her daddy she said yes just me and daddy time cause mommy always busy. She works hard and i get it but in the past 2 yrs she has gone on 3 vacations without us cause she needs "time to herself" cause its hard working and being a mom blah blah blah. Once i replied with yes it is you should try it one day which lead to a fight. When she is home she does take her a bath and tries to put her to sleep and i tell her to do it so she can spend time with her but when she is taking her a bath she ploops her in the tub and then is on her phone working or talking to coworkers/family. I have brought it up to her plenty of times and i am just not happy anymore biggest thing is that i want my daughter with me by ourselves i am fine. Hell i took her to disney world just me and my daughter for 5 days and survived and would gladly do it again. some other little things we havent slept in the same bed for about 3 yrs and barely get dressed infront of each other also which is another flag up. What do I do? i'm not scared of being alone with my daughter but i dont want her to not be a part of her life. I feel like i have to tell her to play listen talk to her. There has been a few times when i have put my daughter to bed after eating dinner and going to play ground and taking her a bath and she did not see her awake for a couple of days. sorry if this is a ramble but i have so much held deep inside that everything just wants to come out at once and its hard to put it all down.
Grumpybutfun Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Premiumrush- This sounds like a communication issue. Have you just sat her down and told her of your concerns in a healthy, non-confrontational manner? Also, do you think it would be beneficial to have a mediator who can help you both learn to communicate? It sounds like she is already checking out of the marriage since you no longer sleep in the same bed or vacation together. Can you elaborate on why you don't sleep in the same bed? Are you a full time stay at home dad? Is her working habits due to needing more money or seeking a promotion? Or, is it more about her wanting to avoid you and the little one? If you are seeking a separation, these are things you need to know. Marriage is complicated especially when you bring children into the equation...did this begin with your child's arrival? Thanks, Grumps 1
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