spiderowl Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 (edited) I don't know what's matter with me at the moment. Married/attached guys seem to be appearing out of the woodwork and they are so much more interesting than the available guys. I don't think I'm naturally attracted to guys who are spoken for, so something weird is happening. I go to a music thing most weeks and there is a couple there who sing and play instruments. He plays really well and they make a great team. On a recent trip, I got talking to him and admired his playing (he is really good). We chatted a bit and he seemed a really nice guy. I thought, typical, he's taken, and then put him to the back of my mind as I always do. Today, I am out shopping, waiting to get some money from a cash machine and, like magic, he appears in front of me smiling and waving. It took a few seconds for me to realise who he was. I live in a big city, you don't bump into people that often. I haven't bumped into anyone else from that group. Well, he was on his way to something so we chatted in the street and he came across as a really nice guy. He's attractive, kind, creative, lovely. He didn't say anything untoward, just normal friends chat, and then had to go to his appointment. The whole thing left me feeling sad. Character-wise, he's just my type. He's into the same music as me and we have mutual respect for each other's musical skills, and he's attractive to me. I won't do anything, would never pursue him or encourage anything other than the casual friendship we have in that group, but it seems odd this should happen. Of all the people to bump into in the whole of my life, it had to be him! Edited June 6, 2013 by spiderowl
Appleness Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Look up Natalie Lue (she lives in England too) and read what she has to say about being attracted to married/attached guys. Ask yourself this: do you like BECAUSE he's attached or would he be interesting regardless? Sometimes we want what we can't have because we feed off the drama a little bit and we're thinking "oh this is fate that he's appearing out of nowhere" but in reality it IS just a coincidence and that other guy that you don't notice (because you're not interested) could be popping up at every street corner but it it wouldn't be fate because you don't notice him. If you're meant to be together, it still means that now is simply not the time. Being with someone who is attached is a no-no because you deserve someone who can give you ALL his attention. Be patient. I'm a firm believer that luck is just doing all your homework (constantly improving yourself to be the best you can be) so that you meet that amazing person, the two of you will hit it off!
Author spiderowl Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Look up Natalie Lue (she lives in England too) and read what she has to say about being attracted to married/attached guys. Ask yourself this: do you like BECAUSE he's attached or would he be interesting regardless? Sometimes we want what we can't have because we feed off the drama a little bit and we're thinking "oh this is fate that he's appearing out of nowhere" but in reality it IS just a coincidence and that other guy that you don't notice (because you're not interested) could be popping up at every street corner but it it wouldn't be fate because you don't notice him. If you're meant to be together, it still means that now is simply not the time. Being with someone who is attached is a no-no because you deserve someone who can give you ALL his attention. Be patient. I'm a firm believer that luck is just doing all your homework (constantly improving yourself to be the best you can be) so that you meet that amazing person, the two of you will hit it off! Thanks, I shall certainly look her up. I don't like him because he's attached. I like him because he's really nice and we have that musical interest in common. He also seems a creative character with a sense of responsibility who is working hard at a new business. He's polite and kind. He just happens to be attached. I could never get involved and break up a couple. I'm just sad that this nice guy is already attached, but aren't they always? It did seem strange bumping into him like that and he seemed so pleased to see me. It must be lovely to be greeted like that by your SO.
loredo21 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I hear ya. I've recently been put in the path of someone for the 2nd time, when after the first ime I swore I'd never see him again. But I did. He's married, and since I'm still in the after effects of an A and healing from my own issues, I would NEVER even think of starting something with him. But I truly think we should have an opportunity in this lifetime to be together. I think the universe places people in your path for a reason. You just have to be patient, do things the right way, and let timing do it's thing. If it's meant to be, it will be. I read a quote the other day, something like " if you have chemistry you only need one more thing, timing. And timing is. A real bitch. (I actually think Im gonna use that as my new signature) GL!
Author spiderowl Posted June 8, 2013 Author Posted June 8, 2013 I havent posted before but ive been lurking for a while. Ive kinda noticed a theme that people will read into little things and make a bigger deal out of it than they probably should. Bumping into him and him being friendly and happy to see you being one of them. My fiance and i are both very friendly, laid back people. And even in a bigger city you can bump into people you know....im always excited seeing someone i know. My fiance is the same way. People have often misinterpreted our social enthusiasm as romantic interest or even imagin entire connections that arent that deep. Dont do that....its more than likely his general vibe. Besides....he is happy and with someone. Instead of being sad, be happy to see two people in love and keep your eyes out for a single guy like what you are looking for. Yes, it's coincidence and they are a happy couple and it's great for them. I honestly can't argue with that.
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