Xinreeki Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 According to LS mythology, if beautiful women date insecure men, the men magically gain confidence which equates to confidence not coming from within. Ah yes, that old delusionary chestnut of wisdom... So if said "beautiful woman" dates an insecure man, but then breaks up with him, proclaiming that she only dated him out of pity, and that she thinks he is a loser who will be forever alone... Does said insecure man retain his "magically generated confidence"? Or, does instead, his confidence-empty inner-core simply return to its unshielded state? Leaving him again alone and self hating, as he morns the loss of his temporary shield of confidence, which he now sees was flimsily based on nothing but a thin veil of momentary "external success"? I wonder which of these fates most insecure men would encounter when faced with such a scenario?
tbf Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 So if said "beautiful woman" dates an insecure man, but then breaks up with him, proclaiming that she only dated him out of pity, and that she thinks he is a loser who will be forever alone... Does said insecure man retain his "magically generated confidence"? Or, does instead, his confidence-empty inner-core simply return to its unshielded state? Leaving him again alone and self hating, as he morns the loss of his temporary shield of confidence, which he now sees was flimsily based on nothing but a thin veil of momentary "external success"?If said woman breaks up, the confidence evaporates since confidence is given and requires constant external validation to maintain. Oh wait, that's NPD (low self-esteem that requires environmental narcissistic supply). It's all so confusing. This is exactly why beautiful women have problems. No one wants to be objectified as arm candy or narcissistic supply. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I suggest this to any woman that suspects she is being used as an ego boost: break up with him while striking him in his achiles heel (height, race, you should know by then). Then add this, which is pretty much universal to all men: criticize his sexual performance and/or d-k size. Proceed to never contact him again. Pretty guranteed that your words will haunt him for a very long time. She gives, she takes it away :evil laugh:
c57dood Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Can't we just agree that both men and women are f***ed up in the head and they both got problems? The human species is wrought with issues. Probably not, since every other thread is "boo hoo women have it so much better than men". 6
Anela Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Sooo basically you're saying being 'unattractive' means you're worthless? wow... Only unattractive women, apparently. We're supposed to suck it up and deal with our life circumstances. They are supposed to be seen as the wonderful men who deserve a trophy wife. 2
apple OR orange Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 grass is always greener, this means what ever if there problem isnt yours...
ltjg45 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Only unattractive women, apparently. We're supposed to suck it up and deal with our life circumstances. They are supposed to be seen as the wonderful men who deserve a trophy wife. I was more referring to beta males being worthless like me. I got no beef with women regardless of how they stand on the attraction scale.
straightshooter82 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Beautiful women have it easier than anyone with respect to getting dates, sex, and the type of man they want. Hard to feel sorry for them from a dating standpoint when a lot of guys can't even land a date with a woman they find attractive. But of course they have "problems" just like everyone else. I remember a few years ago a 20 year old female model jumped out of her Manhattan apartment to her death. You would think she'd be on top of the world with her lifestyle and her looks.
TouchedByViolet Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Being beautiful is most definitely an advantage overall but it comes with certain potential disadvantages. It's similar to people who have or win large amounts of money. They are not all happy even though money is a great and powerful thing. These people don't know how to manage the advantage they have and let other people and life's issues get the best of them. 2
Pompeii Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I'm not sure I'd call myself "beautiful", but I get called "cute" and "pretty". I also get blatant stares and cat-calls when I walk down the street. I'd say I'm jaded when it comes to men finding me physically attractive/cute/whatever. All throughout college men approached me for reasons I wasn't interested in. I probably turned down some men who were actually genuinely nice. In fact, when my ex first started talking to me, it took me a long time to get over the skepticism that he was only talking to me to have a FWB "arrangement". I don't think I'm a 10/10, but the point of my post is: women are sometimes affected psychologically by the way society treats women on a daily basis. For people who do not believe, I will quote this again, another time. I believe when some women get to a certain age they see so much game,so much bs, been played by so many guys, that when a real nice man comes along they right him off instantly and see it as fake. It has to be some kind of act People can lie 'til the cows come home about how women aren't jaded but it's clear as a summer day.
Pompeii Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 What I am suggesting is: just because a woman is attractive it doesn't mean she is void of problems. In fact: a whole new set of issues crop up with attractiveness. Stalkers, people using you like arm candy, attempting to silence/censor you, extreme jealousy, meanness from fellow women, being chastised for having an opinion, rumors, creepy stares, objectification, hyper sexualization, harassment, etc. Still, in the end, it is better to be attractive than not. More attractive people get treated better, get promoted at work more often, have a larger pool of potential dates to choose from. Anyone who says they have it bad because they are attractive isn't getting any sympathy from me.
todreaminblue Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Still, in the end, it is better to be attractive than not. More attractive people get treated better, get promoted at work more often, have a larger pool of potential dates to choose from. Anyone who says they have it bad because they are attractive isn't getting any sympathy from me. this was a theory given at a womens relief society i went too.....if you had everyones flaws or trials in life in a big basket........would you want someone else's flaws or trials or would you take back your own because you know how to deal and live with them because you already do...it doesnt really matter does it ...attractive or not attractive.......just how you deal with it.....which is completely different to how someone else might deal with it....what really matters is that you dont envy someone elses life or looks.....or wish yourself in their shoes......its not gonna happen..doesnt make things easier to look at soemone else and resetn what they have been given... live the life with what you were given....and make the most of it ...good or bad...hard or easy...attractive or unattractive..massive hurdles to face or mere speed bumps on the path...........if you are happy with your lot....like minded people will be with you there....travelling the same way....deb 1
Woggle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Being attractive opens doors up whether you are a male or female. That is just a fact of life. It has it's drawbacks but it gets you more places than being ugly does. 1
Imajerk17 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) I always thought that beautiful women were these mythical creatures that piss out moonbeams and crap rainbows while they are deciding which one of their 7342 suitors to let buy her dinner. Does that answer your question? Edited June 7, 2013 by Imajerk17 1
salparadise Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 When your boss threatens to fire you if you don't nail him, when your own cousins are hitting on you, when you find out guys are competing to see who can bang you first, when your own friends cut your throat over jealousy, when you are yelled at by dates for expressing an intellectual opinion (instead of being pretty and dumb prey), when you get singled out by school officials for wearing the SAME things your friends do just because you have more curves, when you are expected to flirt to drive business, when you are stalked and threatened by psychos, you can tell me how wonderful it is to be attractive. I lived my life as a woman with a E36 rack. People don't treat me "better", they instead get nasty if I don't want to entertain them... Do you really think that life would be better if you were a plain jane and didn't have these things to deal with? These hassles are akin to a rich person bitching about the servants. They're by products of being at the pinnacle of the human hierarchy. 1
Woggle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I think people forget that men and women are hard wired differently. Men need a vessel for their seed so they are hard wired to look for "attractive" (healthy) women to carry it. Their reproduction is a numbers game: more women equals higher chance. Women need protectors and providers. They need quality over quantity, hence the quest for "alpha". Many guys begrudge they arent getting high volume of attractive women and do assume women who are attractive have it easy. But women aren't built for numbers, they are biologically required to be picky and finding quality is HARD when picking from men shooting for Numbers who will lie and scheme to "hit it and quit it". So really, saying one is "luckier" than another is rather ridiculous. Each have their issues. To only feel sorry for your OWN plight and hate on a whole gender is not only selfish, but equally self defeating. Nothing is more unattractive than an angry misogynist male whining about lack of vagina as if he's OWED access to someone else's body. True but misandrists are just as unattractive to men. Who the hell wants to be with somebody who hates a group they are part of? Men who care about quality in woman have it very hard as well. I had to go through a lot to find what I have now. Also women these days are just as interested in looks and quantity. 1
ThaWholigan Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Everybody has problems, and everyone's perception of reality pretty much has their own problems at the forefront as being harder than everyone elses - especially attractive people or those who seem luckier on the face of it. I used to sometimes think beautiful women had it easier dating - one even told me that she could literally go into her mobile phone and call someone and she could get laid instantly. This was years ago when I was young. As I got older, I began to understand that everybody has their problems - there are those who don't have problems with dating. Of both genders. But most have problems. I don't elevate anybody's problems above the other.
bafflio Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Everybody has problems, and everyone's perception of reality pretty much has their own problems at the forefront as being harder than everyone elses - especially attractive people or those who seem luckier on the face of it. I used to sometimes think beautiful women had it easier dating - one even told me that she could literally go into her mobile phone and call someone and she could get laid instantly. This was years ago when I was young. As I got older, I began to understand that everybody has their problems - there are those who don't have problems with dating. Of both genders. But most have problems. I don't elevate anybody's problems above the other. I think life can be quite fair sometimes - in a very ironic way. 1
Treasa Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I'm not as attractive as I was maybe 10 years ago, but I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. Attractiveness does not equal happiness. Sure, some people may treat you better, but again, that only matters if you get your validation externally. I love my life so much, even on days when I probably look like absolute ****. I am so completely blessed and grateful and happy, and I smile and laugh so much, and it exudes from me when I interact with others, and in return I get a lot more attention and love than I ever did in the past. But this time, what I am receiving back is because of what I am sending out, not what I look like. And on that note, my darlings, I'm off to bed. 3
ThaWholigan Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I think life can be quite fair sometimes - in a very ironic way. Somewhat agree - to some extent though people abuse the laws of life regularly at the expense of the innocent. Sometimes life takes it time when it comes to fairness - other times it's quicker than light itself .
Woggle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I think my brother would have been less apt to molest me if I was fat like my sister. I think I wouldn't have had stalkers. I think I wouldn't have caused the break up between my boyfriend and his brother for grabbing my breasts, I think I wouldn't have been harassed at my work, I could go on and on. Rich people have some problems: they have few people they can trust. But there IS a difference: a rich person can give away their money, they can shut up about what they have. What is my alternative? Cut off my t*ts? Mar my face? Gain a hundred pounds and compromise my health? You can't give away your body like you can give away cash.... The downside has been WAY more than the positive side from my experience. Don't you know that many women deal with assault by over eating as a means to protect themselves? It's actually a VERY common phenomena for attractive women to go into depression after assault and utterly neglect their physical body as a means to keep away negative attention. I really am sorry you had to go through that. Nobody deserves that. 2
Woggle Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I think sickos like that will prey on somebody no matter what they look like. It's about power and getting off on victimizing somebody. It is a completely different mindset than somebody who is just turned on by an attractive woman. 1
SpiralOut Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Yes beautiful women have problems. I'm not a model or anything but lots of people tell me that I'm attractive, and I get lots of attention from men. However, I'm insecure about my social skills. I know I'm good looking but I also know from experience that being good looking isn't always enough to get what I want out of life. I can't find the right man if I can't pick them right or if I'm too awkward to get along with his friends. I can't make friends if I act awkward or too shy when I talk to people (IF I even bother to try talking to people). I can't get a good job if I'm too scared to apply to the right places or if I'm so nervous I mess up all the interviews. Being pretty doesn't give me a free pass in life. I still have to work through my problems like everyone else. I don't think it's fair to decide how good or how bad another group of people (rich people, attractive people) have it. We can't know what life is like for someone unless we walk in their shoes. 1
hppr Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I've always looked at it as an economic equation. Good looks is a commodity just like a magnetic personality, or lots of money, or ambition. We are attracted to good looking people, we want to be around good looking people, react more positively around them, etc. People who think that being attractive-looking is a bad thing? We all see life through our own experience and oftentimes that means that we need a kick in the ass to realize how good we have it vs. others out there. You can't give away your body like you can give away cash.... Oh yes you can. The amount of 'hotties' I knew from high school who gained 100, 200lbs within a couple years says that it's not only possible, it happens all the time.
hppr Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 LS is kinda ridiculous. When I was in my 20's I got all sorts of attention. Called beautiful all the time. I could write a book based off of things guys said to me about my looks from my late teens to my early 30's. I was in beauty pageants as well in my 20's. Im pretty decent looking for my age now, but obviously, I am not nearly as attractive. Even after all of this, other than a few very overweight bald older men creepers, I never had a guy putting me on a pedestal and being a complete pussy over everything. I think this phenomonen only exists with men who come to internet dating forums because I have yet to see it in real life. I see far more women selling themselves short for a partner than men. I agree wholeheartedly. Whenever I read these forums it's like very guy is either a bad-boy biker or some nice-guy with no balls. The only caveat I'd add is that when men/women talk about others 'selling themselves short' really they are on the outside looking in. Like the pretty girl + ugly guy combination there is always more than meets the eye. 1
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