zzxxx Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I started my own business and my boyfriend has been helping me from day 1 as he is employed by me. He is not working for anyone else. We have been together for around 3 years. The business is still in its early stages and we are both getting minimum salaries. We are also living together and around each other 24/7. We are always fighting about the business because I feel like he is doing the minimum, yet I have not been able to fire him since he is my boyfriend. I also need his help as his tasks require multiple different skills and I am operating the business in a country where my language skills are not good enough. I always have to tell him what to do and repeat myself several times, he doesn't get his tasks done or remembers them even, makes mistakes often and doesn't own up to them, sometimes he doesn't do what he is told to do and even challenges me sometimes when I ask him to do something and is generally negative. All of this makes me really frustrated which causes arguments between us. If another employee behaved and treated me the same way that he does, they would not have been working for me anymore. He does not have nearly the same drive and passion for the business as I do. I just don't understand this since the business could provide a better future for us. I feel like he is dragging me down instead of supporting my dream and our future. I don't know what to do as it feels like a draining battle everyday.
AverageCat Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I think you're expecting your bf to be an above than average employee, hence why you are not satisfied with him. You say if it was another employee you would just fire him, but yet you say that you need his skillset, etc. IMHO you are probably not being a very good boss and need more leadership skills. Leading a firm is not as easy as being a girlfriend. Finally, if you need to fire him fire him. Or rather tell him to find another job since you require other skills. You can do this very peacefully and without affecting your R and I don't understand the whole issue. However don't expect an employee to be as passionate about your work as you are. I feel like your whole frustration comes from the fact that he's your bf and he should be doing more than usual, but don't forget in the workplace he is just an employee. End of story. It's not your bfs job to support your dream 24/7. Cheers,
TaraMaiden Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 That's not true. You know exactly what to do. you just hesitate because he's your boyfriend. but to be brutally honest with you, I doubt he's gone up in your estimation in that department either.... You're allowing your emotions to fog your logical mind, and you're making allowances where you wouldn't be making them for a normal employee. You wouldn't tolerate this from someone who's not emotionally involved with you. In fact, you would have ended it a long time ago. If he's dragging business back, not pulling his weight and is not as committed or dedicated as you are, then yes - you KNOW what you have to do. Really bad idea to mix 'business with pleasure'. One aspect always loses out. My cousin employs his sister and her husband in his company. At work - they're colleagues. not relatives. they treat each other like people who work together, nothing more, nothing less. he's the boss, and his brother-in-law has been disciplined at work and had to pay for a moderately expensive mistake out of his Bonus. At home - work is never mentioned. It's a taboo subject and they do not discuss anything about work outside of work hours. They're related and are extremely close and affectionate. Business. Home. Totally separate. It works brilliantly. If you guys can't do this - then ditch him. You deserve someone who's completely on board, on the same page and as committed as you are. And if it's crap at work, it will be at home, as well. Yup. Oh sure......you KNOW what to do.......
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