Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Imagine her response if he HADN'T showed it to her and she stumbled across his browsing history later! The whole thing should have been worth a chuckle together, no more. It's an awesome name, she's out of line, and you don't need her approval or permission to change it to anything you like. I like Traci Lord's, er I mean Treasa's, nickname idea as well. Hahah, that is a funny point. Thank you for your response and your input! I think it's a great name as well. 1
serial muse Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Thank you so much for your response, Traci. I really appreciate it. Yes, I believe a nickname could work. My theory was that people usually "link" certain meanings to certain names based on their initial personal experiences. For example, when I hear the name 'Mitch', I automatically think physically strong, because the Mitch(s) I knew had that characteristic. Other people would likely have met different Mitch's. For her, I think her "link" was established when she saw the pictures of Kayden Cross. And so she associates anything like that name with that person. She may also feel insecure as well, thanks for the idea. And thank you very much again for responding! I agree with Treasa's entire post...including the part about how it is ultimately your choice. I certainly don't think a lot of people would make the porn connection, and it also seems like your GF is taking a bit too much ownership of a decision that is yours. That said, I also agree with ChessPieceFace's point that since the whole idea is to pick a name that potential employers won't stumble over - thus removing a potential extra barrier to your employment - you might actually want to choose something a bit more common. Just a thought. 1
drr6 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 The relation to an obscure pornstar is irrelevant. But Kaden is one of those overly precious, new-agey names that does not evoke images of Mr Manly Man . It appears even more inauthentic for a Chinese immigrant. Its image goes with a native born metrosexual peon in retail or cubicle hell. I personally would just go with a shorter, easier to pronounce variation of your birth name. More authentic, more confident, and just cooler. I assume your last name is Chinese sounding anyhow? So what good is it to choose such an inauthentic sounding first name?
TheGuard13 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden's a pretty common name the last decade and a half or so. It could be worse. My friend's father had a student whose parents had named her "shu-theed". Spelled "s h i t h e a d".
Phantom888 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Ok, fellow Chinese bro, let me tell you from experience that Anglo-fying your name is just wrong. So what if your name is hard to pronounce? It's your name. My parents tried to westernize my name when we came to the US, and I hated it. All through school I was being called a name that was unfit to me. So now, as an adult, I have decided to revert back to my original name. My lady LOVES my name, and she would not want me any other way. If you are insistent on being Kayden, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I've never even heard of that pornstar. The greatest pornstar of all time (IMO) was Christy Canyon, so I guess people shouldn't name their kid Christy? Bottom line, I think your girlfriend is being narrow-minded and uncultured. Frankly I think you should keep your original name. It must have a significant meaning, as all Chinese names do. 3
Phantom888 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden's a pretty common name the last decade and a half or so. It could be worse. My friend's father had a student whose parents had named her "shu-theed". Spelled "s h i t h e a d". I went to school with a Vietnamese/Chinese kid named Phuc Yu. Honest truth. He changed the pronunciation of his first name to "phoooook" so people would not avoid calling his name. 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 I agree with Treasa's entire post...including the part about how it is ultimately your choice. I certainly don't think a lot of people would make the porn connection, and it also seems like your GF is taking a bit too much ownership of a decision that is yours. That said, I also agree with ChessPieceFace's point that since the whole idea is to pick a name that potential employers won't stumble over - thus removing a potential extra barrier to your employment - you might actually want to choose something a bit more common. Just a thought. Thank you for your response. I understand that the decision should be mine. But if picking it will essentially be like rigging a time bomb with unknown detonation time, then I'd rather take a different course. Oh, you believe that employers would still have difficulty pronouncing 'Kaden'? Kae - Den. I thought it would be pretty straightforward, but I could be wrong.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 The relation to an obscure pornstar is irrelevant. But Kaden is one of those overly precious, new-agey names that does not evoke images of Mr Manly Man . It appears even more inauthentic for a Chinese immigrant. Its image goes with a native born metrosexual peon in retail or cubicle hell. I personally would just go with a shorter, easier to pronounce variation of your birth name. More authentic, more confident, and just cooler. I assume your last name is Chinese sounding anyhow? So what good is it to choose such an inauthentic sounding first name? Thank you for your response. Really? That's the image that is being invoked? I'm not sure if many people would see it in that light though. I feel different people see certain names in different ways. Ah, that will be difficult I think. Thanks for the idea though, I appreciate it. Many Asian-Americans have such a name I think. First name would be like Matt, Jennifer, and last name would be Liu, Xu, etc.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Kaden's a pretty common name the last decade and a half or so. It could be worse. My friend's father had a student whose parents had named her "shu-theed". Spelled "s h i t h e a d". Thank you for your response. That is pretty funny!! Haha
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Ok, fellow Chinese bro, let me tell you from experience that Anglo-fying your name is just wrong. So what if your name is hard to pronounce? It's your name. My parents tried to westernize my name when we came to the US, and I hated it. All through school I was being called a name that was unfit to me. So now, as an adult, I have decided to revert back to my original name. My lady LOVES my name, and she would not want me any other way. If you are insistent on being Kayden, there is nothing wrong with it. In fact, I've never even heard of that pornstar. The greatest pornstar of all time (IMO) was Christy Canyon, so I guess people shouldn't name their kid Christy? Bottom line, I think your girlfriend is being narrow-minded and uncultured. Frankly I think you should keep your original name. It must have a significant meaning, as all Chinese names do. Hey, thank you so much for your response! I am sorry that you were given a name that you didn't like by your parents. I'm happy you took ownership of your identity in the end. For me though, I am open to the idea of having a more "normal" name (in the USA). I spent a long time pondering on what kind of name I would want. I think 'Kaden' could fit me. Unfortunately, that did not go without problems. Yeah, to me that logic about Christy Canyon makes sense. I used a similar train of thought/reasoning, ineffective though it was to cause a change in disposition. Yes, I will definitely keep my original name. I might 'add on' another name sometime in the future, but I will not abandon my Chinese name. Thanks again friend Take care
todreaminblue Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 my name is deborah....or debbie.......and for people who go hey there debbie does dallas........its like...whatever freak... yoru name is yours......whther you choose it or like me got given it......what others think really isnt important......i gave my son the name jericho ....nwo soemone came up with teh fact that jericho is the lowest of the low on earth........ i named my son jericho....because i thought ,ok, this son of mine is going to break barriers and walls people put aroudn them..and the bible and the walls of jericho were instantly in my head..... my oldest son....i called him luke...again biblical...not because i though he had a cool hand........ this is fact...no wall tall enough for jericho.....and true enough....people open up to him.....and luke......he is mentally impaired but sometimes he says things that i go ....how do you think like that...his thoughts come from somewhere else so insightful.....he is protected by god, he has a special place reserved a name is merely a name and the meaning of that name is important to the people who, gave you the name and you, especially you, and how you live up to the name you were given or....choose...in this life....or the next. choose the name you feel is you.......if i were you though , honestly, dont change your name...in my opinion..be proud of it .....stuff if people cant pronounce it.....if they get to know you and love you....your name will flow from their mouth effortlessly and with warmth of a smile following.........deb
HokeyReligions Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 Guys: If you saw the name Kaden, what would come to mind? Girls: Can you decipher what my girlfriend is trying to say? Is she being reasonable about this? Thank you so much. I hope this post can help someone out there, in one way shape or form. Is it her time of the month or something? couples get in the most heated arguments over the dumbest things. Its how you move past it that will help you in your relationship. BTW in the industry I work (O&G ) I can't pronounce half the names of the people in the office. Including some I've interviewd. Qualifications and demeanor are the focus, althoug I do appreciate when they shorten their name or adopt a nickname. 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 my name is deborah....or debbie.......and for people who go hey there debbie does dallas........its like...whatever freak... yoru name is yours......whther you choose it or like me got given it......what others think really isnt important......i gave my son the name jericho ....nwo soemone came up with teh fact that jericho is the lowest of the low on earth........ i named my son jericho....because i thought ,ok, this son of mine is going to break barriers and walls people put aroudn them..and the bible and the walls of jericho were instantly in my head..... my oldest son....i called him luke...again biblical...not because i though he had a cool hand........ this is fact...no wall tall enough for jericho.....and true enough....people open up to him.....and luke......he is mentally impaired but sometimes he says things that i go ....how do you think like that...his thoughts come from somewhere else so insightful.....he is protected by god, he has a special place reserved a name is merely a name and the meaning of that name is important to the people who, gave you the name and you, especially you, and how you live up to the name you were given or....choose...in this life....or the next. choose the name you feel is you.......if i were you though , honestly, dont change your name...in my opinion..be proud of it .....stuff if people cant pronounce it.....if they get to know you and love you....your name will flow from their mouth effortlessly and with warmth of a smile following.........deb Thank you for sharing so much Deborah! It sounds to me like you have two very great sons, both of which watched and protected by God. I agree, a name is very important to an individual. That's why I spent so much time thinking of the name Kaden. I don't mind adding on an additional name to my original name. I think it could be fun and interesting. And if I also can have a better chance at landing more interviews or job offers, then I see it as a win-win situation! Either way though, I won't abandon my original name, that's for sure! Thank you so much again for your response, Deborah. God Bless 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Guys: If you saw the name Kaden, what would come to mind? Girls: Can you decipher what my girlfriend is trying to say? Is she being reasonable about this? Thank you so much. I hope this post can help someone out there, in one way shape or form. Is it her time of the month or something? couples get in the most heated arguments over the dumbest things. Its how you move past it that will help you in your relationship. BTW in the industry I work (O&G ) I can't pronounce half the names of the people in the office. Including some I've interviewd. Qualifications and demeanor are the focus, althoug I do appreciate when they shorten their name or adopt a nickname. Interestingly enough, it is not the time of the month for her. It's a really dumb argument I agree. However, the consequences are rather severe. I can't really choose the name now knowing the first thing that probably comes to her mind is a pornstar, you know? Sad but true. And thank you for sharing your professional experience. It sounds like having a nickname that is easier to pronounce can be valuable in job seeking
Janesays Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I think your girlfriend dislikes the name you choose and is just coming up with some p iss poor excuse to get you to change it to something she likes better.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 I think your girlfriend dislikes the name you choose and is just coming up with some p iss poor excuse to get you to change it to something she likes better. Oh no I don't think that's the case. I think since it was her first time seeing the name Kayden, then seeing the pornstar, that she just linked the two together in her mind. A type of 'first impression', I suppose. A bad one, unfortunately. Thank you for your response
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