AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Okay, I can't believe I just had this kind of fight with my girlfriend (We've been together for approx 7 months) just now. I really can't believe it. I am so incredibly befuddled right now. Where do I begin. Today she told me that she thought it would be a good idea for me to pick an English name for myself (I'm Chinese, raised in USA but never got an English name). The idea would be that, if I were to put that on my resume, I would find more success job-wise there. So I agreed. I began looking through hundreds and hundreds of names. I ended up liking the name: Caden, which came in various forms, such as Kaden, Caiden, Kayden. I had thought of the name before and liked it and was reminded today. I believe I first saw the name in a role playing game, Caden was a knight in armor. I thought to have the wording: Kayden. Curious to know the meaning of it, I googled the name. To my surprise, I found that Kayden was the first name of a woman named Kayden Cross, who seemed to be a fairly successful pornstar. When I went to images, I saw images of the woman. So I thought, darn, I guess I can't use that wording. So I decided to go with Kaden. I told her Kaden. I told her I would've liked the wording of Kayden better but when that is googled, bad things come up. She googled it and laughed. But then she expressed her stern disapproval at the name I picked, because it sounds like Kayden, the name of a pornstar. She told me, out of all those names 100,000 names, you had to pick one that's the name of a pornstar? I tried to reason with her saying things like: it's not like I thought of the pornstar first, then decided to name myself that. I liked the name in the first place, I think it is a good match for me. Just because a pornstar is named that, that doesn't mean I should forbid myself to name myself the name I want. And it's not like 'Kaden' means 'pornstar'. It has its own meaning. A much different one, in fact. Kaden | meaning of Kaden | name Kaden Kaden is even a male's name, for goodness sake. All in all, I HIGHLY doubt that when people see the name Kaden, they'll think Kayden Cross, the pornstar. They'll just see it as a regular, normal, somewhat unique name. After googling, the most well known person named 'Kaden' seems to be a male singer named Kaden James. My girlfriend, on the other hand, goes as far as to compare the name to Hitler and asks if I would name my child Hitler, or something that sounds like Hitler. I thought that was a ridiculous comparison. Hitler is known all over the world. But Kayden the pornstar? Really? Her thinking is that many people (men) watch porn and so when they pronounce 'Kaden', they might think 'Kayden' the pornstar. And that one of my coworkers/employers in the future might have that impression, which would hamper my professional career. I strongly believe that she is severely exaggerating the possibility that people would see the name in the one specific way she sees it. Is all of this normal in a relationship?? I think this whole thing is so ridiculous in a one-sided way, to the point where my mind is being blown. But who knows I could be biased? Then I'd be the one who looks very silly, but I'm okay with that. But I need to know. I would be so, so grateful if somebody here can help shed some light on this matter. So I have some questions for the the guys and girls who are reading this: Guys: If you saw the name Kaden, what would come to mind? Girls: Can you decipher what my girlfriend is trying to say? Is she being reasonable about this? Thank you so much. I hope this post can help someone out there, in one way shape or form.
Mr_Flay Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden IS an unusual English name, and this is coming from a non-English person. You should have picked Charles Augustus Milverton III, that's deeply English. So what if Kayden is a pornstar. I'm sure there are lots of pornstars with a stage name "Anna" or something, doesn't mean every Anna is a pornstar.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Ah, I should have clarified that what I meant by an English name was a name that was easier to pronounce than my Chinese name. Her logic is that people at HR wouldn't want to hire someone they have a hard time pronouncing the name of (I cannot be completely sure if this is true or not) And yes, I tried saying something like that to her. She responded saying that 'Anna' is a pretty normal name whereas 'Kaden' is a pretty unique name, so that matters much more. Sigh....
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden IS an unusual English name, and this is coming from a non-English person. You should have picked Charles Augustus Milverton III, that's deeply English. So what if Kayden is a pornstar. I'm sure there are lots of pornstars with a stage name "Anna" or something, doesn't mean every Anna is a pornstar. Ah, I should have clarified that what I meant by an English name was a name that was easier to pronounce than my Chinese name. Her logic is that people at HR wouldn't want to hire someone they have a hard time pronouncing the name of (I cannot be completely sure if this is true or not) And yes, I tried saying something like that to her. She responded saying that 'Anna' is a pretty normal name whereas 'Kaden' is a pretty unique name, so that matters much more. Sigh....
Mr_Flay Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 And btw Kaden makes me think of a tall, muscular, gay pornstar dude with a handlebar moustache wearing a tight buttless stretch nylon suit. I'm glad such thoughts never occur to me.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Oh it's not that she doesn't like calling me by my name. She wants me to have an easy to pronounce name (more 'English') so that I can when employers read it on my resume, the likelihood that they would accept me for an interview/job would go up. Thank you for your response!
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 And btw Kaden makes me think of a tall, muscular, gay pornstar dude with a handlebar moustache wearing a tight buttless stretch nylon suit. Stick with your Chinese name. Oh boy... that is explicit ><
ChessPieceFace Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Guys: If you saw the name Kaden, what would come to mind? Just that it's a weird name. What kind of guys know so many porn star names that that's the first thing that would come to mind? Really gross guys I would imagine. I watch porn all the time (as needed) and I probably couldn't even name a dozen porn stars, and I've never heard of that one. Your name is your choice. I'm just a bit confused by the choice. It's a really weird name and will stick out, regardless of connotation. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of taking a pretend American name? Is Kaden somehow close to your real Chinese name and that's why you're so taken with it? If not, just ditch it and pick a common first name.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Just that it's a weird name. What kind of guys know so many porn star names that that's the first thing that would come to mind? Really gross guys I would imagine. I watch porn all the time (as needed) and I probably couldn't even name a dozen porn stars, and I've never heard of that one. Your name is your choice. I'm just a bit confused by the choice. It's a really weird name and will stick out, regardless of connotation. Doesn't that defeat the purpose of taking a pretend American name? Is Kaden somehow close to your real Chinese name and that's why you're so taken with it? If not, just ditch it and pick a common first name. Thank you for your response. I guess I'm just a person who values uniqueness. I wanted to pick a name that was different from what I have seen before. The goal of the name change was to have a more pronounceable name at the end, I really wish I can edit it now but I cannot it seems.
aussietigerwolf Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 to me I'd consider it celtic and nothing to do with pornstars but... I'm not american and I don't even like porn.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 to me I'd consider it celtic and nothing to do with pornstars but... I'm not american and I don't even like porn. Thank you for your response, friend.
Aerrie Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 When I hear Ka(y)den, Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect game series (brilliant trilogy) immediately comes to mind. He is a good looking honorable soldier, so I do not have a problem with a guy having that name. I would think it awesome, actually. 1
Roadkill007 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I think it'd be weirder for someone to make that connection out of the blue. I've never heard any iteration of that name. I see her point though. This english name isn't for you as its for someone hiring you. I'm sure if I had a weird email address that suggested abnormality, it may go against me when I'm looking for a job.
Treasa Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 As someone who performs new employee orientation for a U.S. scientific organization that brings in a LOT of Chinese people from overseas, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with the name you picked (I LOVE Kaden, being that I'm a geek) and you can keep your original name. For example, just last week we had a new employee named...um.. I don't remember her Chinese name, because it looked tough to pronounce, and because right away she said, "I prefer to go by 'Alice'." You could always go that route, too. Keep your real name but choose a nickname. You could even include it on your resume. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, I don't know what the hell she's on about. My first name is Traci, ALSO the first name of a former porn star, and I love it. I mean, my name. I don't know if your girlfriend is insecure about maybe thinking you like a porn star or what, but you should be the one in charge of your own name, not her. Ignore her when she's acting up, or, if she doesn't drop it, calmly tell her that your name is your decision, and that you will leave the room if she doesn't let it go. 1
veggirl Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden and all spellings of it is a VERY popular name nowadays. Kaden, aiden, jaden etc. no one will think of a porn star, your gf is being psycho. It's one of the most popular baby names.
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 When I hear Ka(y)den, Kaidan Alenko from Mass Effect game series (brilliant trilogy) immediately comes to mind. He is a good looking honorable soldier, so I do not have a problem with a guy having that name. I would think it awesome, actually. Thank you for your response. I played Mass Effect as well and I agree, it is very, very well made. And I certainly do recall Kaidan Alenko as well! Haha, I might've gotten the name from Dragon Age. There was this Knight named Caden I think 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 I think it'd be weirder for someone to make that connection out of the blue. I've never heard any iteration of that name. I see her point though. This english name isn't for you as its for someone hiring you. I'm sure if I had a weird email address that suggested abnormality, it may go against me when I'm looking for a job. Yes, I really did not believe anybody, porn-watcher or not, would make that connection. Thank you for your response 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 As someone who performs new employee orientation for a U.S. scientific organization that brings in a LOT of Chinese people from overseas, I can tell you that there is nothing wrong with the name you picked (I LOVE Kaden, being that I'm a geek) and you can keep your original name. For example, just last week we had a new employee named...um.. I don't remember her Chinese name, because it looked tough to pronounce, and because right away she said, "I prefer to go by 'Alice'." You could always go that route, too. Keep your real name but choose a nickname. You could even include it on your resume. As far as your girlfriend is concerned, I don't know what the hell she's on about. My first name is Traci, ALSO the first name of a former porn star, and I love it. I mean, my name. I don't know if your girlfriend is insecure about maybe thinking you like a porn star or what, but you should be the one in charge of your own name, not her. Ignore her when she's acting up, or, if she doesn't drop it, calmly tell her that your name is your decision, and that you will leave the room if she doesn't let it go. Thank you so much for your response, Traci. I really appreciate it. Yes, I believe a nickname could work. My theory was that people usually "link" certain meanings to certain names based on their initial personal experiences. For example, when I hear the name 'Mitch', I automatically think physically strong, because the Mitch(s) I knew had that characteristic. Other people would likely have met different Mitch's. For her, I think her "link" was established when she saw the pictures of Kayden Cross. And so she associates anything like that name with that person. She may also feel insecure as well, thanks for the idea. And thank you very much again for responding! 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden and all spellings of it is a VERY popular name nowadays. Kaden, aiden, jaden etc. no one will think of a porn star, your gf is being psycho. It's one of the most popular baby names. Thank you for your response. I really like the name. 1
SoleMate Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden is a fine name, I think it is a very good choice! Of course I don't know any porn star names except Ron Jeremy and made-up names like "Destinee". 1
Aerrie Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Wasn't he gay and also whiny? He was only gay if you wanted to romance him as a male Shepard. You could easily have a heterosexual relationship with him playing as a female. (not that I did lol:D) Yeah, he may have been a little whiny, but it is understandable considering what he has been through. I reccommend Mass Effect series to everyone btw, excellent characters you will grow to love. It is art at times, bringing laughs and tears. 1
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Why would you show your gf porn? What were you thinking? Also how about not having silly arguments with her and just doing what you want. You'll be fighting about what to eat for dinner if you let this type of stuff continue. Just shut it down. It's your name, your decision. Personally I would just go with your Chinese name. If you're going to change the name might as well go with something snazzy like Tom Cruise. They'll be all hey look some guy named Tom Cruise wants to work here let's hire him even though this resume sucks. Oh no sir, I did not show her porn. I just said that if someone were to Google 'Kayden', images would show something bad. A voluptuous, blonde woman wearing a two-piece. She just googled the name and saw pictures and information is all. Thank you for your response! Yes, I will certainly consider just keeping my Chinese name. 2
Author AzureX91 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Kaden is a fine name, I think it is a very good choice! Of course I don't know any porn star names except Ron Jeremy and made-up names like "Destinee". Haha yes, I think 'Destinee' might seem rather unusual in a bad way. Thank you for your response!
MidwestUSA Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Why would you show your gf porn? What were you thinking? Imagine her response if he HADN'T showed it to her and she stumbled across his browsing history later! The whole thing should have been worth a chuckle together, no more. It's an awesome name, she's out of line, and you don't need her approval or permission to change it to anything you like. I like Traci Lord's, er I mean Treasa's, nickname idea as well. 1
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