ice7990 Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 there is alot of great advice here, so im hoping someone can help me. ok, so no contact and do everything that you have told us. now how about when your ex decides that she has feelings for her old ex of 7 years ago who she spent 5 years with. what do you do then, cause she did love him back then but now she has feelings for him again. how can the guidelines that are listed help out in a situation like that. i am 30 and she is 35 and has said to me that she is too old to make another mistake in life. i am miserable now cause today she just returned all my stuff to me. we broke up 2 months ago and on our 1 year anniversary, she told me that she wont take me back cause she has feelings resurfacing again for her ex. she broke up with me 1.5 months ago and i have tried to get her back but i have done the NC unless she started contacting me. she did say that it was only a one way feeling cause she doesnt know how he feels or if he is available. i was good with the NC for awhile but when i got my stuff back, i broke down and now more miserable than ever. i mean, he cheated on her, and now she has feelings for him again after she broke up with me. i dont know wat to do anymore cause i love her so much and i want her back so badly. she was blocking me on her msn but since i talked to her friends and told them that she was blocking me, she unblocked me even her friends tell me how good we are together and they say that this is just a feeling that she has and they dont know if its love. i dont know if i can go thru this, but i know she is my soulmate and i love her and her son so much. i dont know wat to do anymore. i mean, she flat out and said that she didnt have any feelings for me anymore cause she has feelings for her ex again and she couldnt even look at me the whole time we were together talking. the only thing i do know is that he cheated on her, that he lives in another city, that he might not even be available or not interested, that he is japanese with a japanese mentality, that he once said that her son doesnt even look like him and what would ppl think and that her parents dont like him cause of how he hurt their daughter and that she wants to leave japan but with him, she will be stuck here. other than that, i know nothing else. and that she also told her friends that she doesnt even like going out with japanese men and now she is has feelings again for her ex who is japanese. her friends tell me that he may not even treat her son the way i did and give him all the love like i did cause of who he is...and that i treated her son better than some fathers treat their own son. they can all see it and the ppl around us can see it but for someone who says that he means the world to her, the most important person in her life and his happiness comes first, she leaves me for just feelings. even her son considers me part of his family and i love him as much as i love her but she cant eve see that now cause she cant accept my feelings. and she knows how much i love her and her son unconditionally and that i want her back. she knows how i feel, how i have treated her son as my own and that we have even asked her father for his blessing and that we were going to get married. i know in the past i have done some little stupid mistakes, have been alittle heavy on her and she felt the pressure sometimes with marriage but i have told her that i know i made mistakes, and that we didnt have the communication that we should have and that i want to start again and i have learned from my mistakes. and now she leaves me cause she says that she cant have feelings for me cause she has them for her ex. even right now, im trying to get my visa extended so that i can stay in japan, cause i cant just leave everything that is so important to me in my life. i love her and her son so very much. will this even make a dif in how she feels and us if i do get it?? help!!!
Merin Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. Heres the deal.. it really doesn't matter what her family OR friends say.. they can all love you and think you are the best, they can tell her she is making a mistake and that she should be with you.. but the bottomline is it's her decision to make, and in spite of what everyone else says or thinks.. she has made the decision to end the relationship. Who knows what's going on her mind regarding her Ex.. from what you've said, they share children? This could be some of what is driving her right now... Regardless... she has made the decision to move on. She knows how you feel.. and has again made the choice to not continue a relationship. I'm sorry.
ice7990 Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 the thing is, its not his child either. this is a child from the ex after the one she has feelings for. another mistake that she says that she made and have said that she will not make another mistake in life.
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