Stay Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 To start it off, my gf(ex) whatever it is at the moment of 7 years is the type of girl that lives of respect of herself. Would never do things like cheat to hurt me or anything along those lines to hurt anyone. She doesn't like to see girls sleeping around, etc. she thinks it's disgusting, etc. One relationship type of girl and doesn't date for fun. Dating is serious to her. We have been "broken up" for about 4 months, live together for about ~3-4 months after that incident. We still do "couple" things and I honestly feel like a couple sometimes, she still gets sad/upset about some things I say and expects me to apologize, etc. So that mindset is still there. The reason for the break-up was lack of affection on my half, being too focused on school I didn't give her the attention she deserved and I realized that now. When people asks about us she just tells them that we're going through a rough time or just act like we're still together. Not sure if that's because she's not ready to let people know yet or still unsure of what she wants. The reason she isn't back with me is because she's afraid that I will go right back into this again and hurt her again. I've been giving her space, reply her texts only when she contacts me, etc. Not really going out of my way too much to do things for her to allow her to miss me and think about things. This past week was our first week officially out of the same house, she's living by herself now. Anyways the beginning of this week I came over and did some stuff for her around the place she lives and she had me spend the night, same bed, etc. Asked for a massage. This is my main situation at the moment. I'm fine with giving her space and working on things slowly. So she lives in a rather small apt, you can probably get to know all the people there easily. Almost like a small block neighborhood. It's gated, this morning when I stopped by to surprise her with a morning breakfast since I got some for work she came out of the gate with another guy.. I didn't see any interaction between them so it could just be a tenant. But it was early and just weird that it was exactly at the same time. I know I tend to think of the worst situation possible as many other people probably do also. She's not that type of girl and get into relationships for flings or anything but I can't help but to run into the worst situation possible type of thinking. I just want to confirm this is normal and your mind makes it much more than it really is.
aisuru Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Did she introduce you? Was she speaking with him? Were they within each other's personal space? Seems you're over analyzing, but what do I know. Kind of hard to say. Did she acknowledge the guy or mention it to you?
Author Stay Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 (edited) No none of that, this is all assumptions because I saw them walk through the front gate together.. That could just mean it was another tenant that happens to leave at the same time, etc. But I can't help but to think the worst even though it most likely isn't. I wasn't paying attention but I don't think they talked and all that happen was I saw them outside the gate and he went his way and she went hers. There really was 0 interaction but the reason I'm thinking like this is just the fact that it was the same time that they left the gate. I wouldn't think a girl with morals of not wanting to be seen as sleeping around, etc. would do this. So I doubt it's that also but I just wanna hear from others. Edited June 6, 2013 by Stay
Pisces13 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I think you're overreacting... if she was talking to him and walking with him then I could understand why you would possibly think that, but you said she didn't even acknowledge him. I think it is pretty safe to say it was just another guy in the complex, if it was early morning then he was probably headed off to work and just happened to exit at the same time as your ex. Take a chill pill lol.
Author Stay Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Yea I know I am too but is it just me or does the mind overpower any logical thinking and always assume the worst situation possible? She didn't acknowledge from what I've seen, they could have done it before the gate, but again that's the mind creating these fake scenarios. If she really did know him she probably would have be hesitant and worried that he might turn around and see me or something. It's not like she's avoiding me, trying not to be seen in public with me, etc. I know I'm over reacting. Anyone else does this sometime or is it just me?
Pisces13 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Yea I know I am too but is it just me or does the mind overpower any logical thinking and always assume the worst situation possible? She didn't acknowledge from what I've seen, they could have done it before the gate, but again that's the mind creating these fake scenarios. If she really did know him she probably would have be hesitant and worried that he might turn around and see me or something. It's not like she's avoiding me, trying not to be seen in public with me, etc. I know I'm over reacting. Anyone else does this sometime or is it just me? I do it all the time, I over think things and always assume the worst. But not with something like what you mentioned above lol, I wouldn't have thought anything in to that at all. If they were walking to the gate together talking, laughing and having a grand old time then maybe I would be suspicious, but they weren't even talking so you have nothing to worry about.
moneyneversleeps Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 just ignore it and don't let it get to you. I suggest you assume the best outcome. It makes life so much happier. You then will not come off as jealous(highly unattractive) and also you believe your own lie/truth and thus protecting yourself.
Author Stay Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Best outcome is difficult but possible I guess. Naturally I think our mind always goes to worst possible outcome immediately. Best outcome? She begins to miss me again, which I feel like I sense but it's only been about a week so not much can be concluded from there. If only I had a fast forward button! Haha! But I'm just trying to pass time and hope it goes by faster. She knows what I want, it's all up to her to initiate it from here, nothing to do but try to do what I want to do. I always wonder if she misses me or is thinking about this as much as I am.
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