underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 How many BSs out there still randomly look up the WS's AP and/or check up on the spouse? I will confess that I check up on my FWH about once a week. I wish it was less but I am still a little afraid to let down my guard. I will occasionally check up on her facebook/pintrest page. I know it is not healthy but I do. So who is willing to confess?
HopingAgain Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 *Slowly raises hand* I do from time to time. Much less now as time has gone on and his actions match his words, and my "spidey" senses haven't gone off in months. But I expect I will randomly check and verify for at least another year or so, or until trust fully returns, whichever comes first. 3
Spark1111 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I NEVER did until I spoke to her two years after DDay for the first time and realized how unstable she was. She had broken NC, waltzed into his office and hinted at if he'd be interested in re-initiating the affair. That's when I learned she was NOT the nice, D single mom I thought she was and did some investigating of my own..... few friends, lots of lies about her xH, and the new BF she asked my H if she should continue a relationship with? She'd been living with him for over a year! In fact, she spun me to be crazy and when I. Saw his car parked in her driveway, I realized it was the same car that had done drive-bys of my home and my workplace. It was her M.O. She had my H Convinced her xH was evil incarnate. Turns out he is a pretty nice guy with a new wife and family he is very devoted to. last I looked, she has left the job and the state. hopefully, she has moved on for good. No need to check anymore.
eleanorrigby Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I haven't checked up on my husband for a long while, but I know that a good part of that is because we are with each other practically 24/7 these days. If not for that, I think I'd still occasionally do a little checking up on my husband just to reassure myself. Unfortunately I do still look up the OW online. Sometimes I hate the internet!! When I went through this there was no myspace, twitter, or FB... but now. ugh. When I feel the urge to look, I delete the history. I don't want to have him come upon my search and wonder if there's a problem. There isn't.. I just still get the urge to look up that name once a year or so. I guess I'll get over it eventually.
Praying4Peace Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I think it's normal to look, especially for a BS... ...but would you go as far as unblocking your WS (from the AP) so that you could have access to a FB page that isn't even open to the public (just a profile pic and a cover pic)?
HonestNeurotic Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 My exMM's wife still checks out a few websites I am involved with. Just so you know - most sites give IP addresses on where their traffic comes from. It's not Rocket Science anymore. FB is it's own beast, and does not have methods to know who has viewed you without complicated measures. But if you are checking other sites you might want to be aware of that. Well, everyone should kinda be aware of that anyway as in - THERE IS NO PRIVACY on the internet really. 1
Author underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 No way. I deleted everything about her from his page and blocked her myself. I do not trust her. Both of ours are on lock down too. The sad part is how much better it made me feel to see a true picture of her today....not one from high school/college. It made a little more sense to me as to why she engage with my husband. Also, made me wonder what the hell he was thinking. She is pretty but you can tell she had three kids (you know the type of mom I am talking about). I guess it just all boiled down to the simple ego stroke he needed. 1
Author underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 My exMM's wife still checks out a few websites I am involved with. Just so you know - most sites give IP addresses on where their traffic comes from. It's not Rocket Science anymore. FB is it's own beast, and does not have methods to know who has viewed you without complicated measures. But if you are checking other sites you might want to be aware of that. Well, everyone should kinda be aware of that anyway as in - THERE IS NO PRIVACY on the internet really. I don't care if she knows I am looking. Hell, I even informed her husband about how much could be found out about a person online.
ComingInHot Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 I can't remember the last time I "looked up" H' a exOW. I think it was when someone was trying to hack my fb page that I rarely visit. As for my H? I will take a peek when HE is acting out of normal character. Again., I can't even remember the last time* MAN OH MAN That feels gooood to write!! 1
Praying4Peace Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 No way. I deleted everything about her from his page and blocked her myself. I do not trust her. Both of ours are on lock down too. The sad part is how much better it made me feel to see a true picture of her today....not one from high school/college. It made a little more sense to me as to why she engage with my husband. Also, made me wonder what the hell he was thinking. She is pretty but you can tell she had three kids (you know the type of mom I am talking about). I guess it just all boiled down to the simple ego stroke he needed. Yes, this is what a sane person would do. If I were the BS I wouldn't want the AP to get the 'wrong idea' and try and make contract. I'm glad you don't feel insecure now that you saw the picture. Must be a relief.
Author underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Yes, this is what a sane person would do. If I were the BS I wouldn't want the AP to get the 'wrong idea' and try and make contract. I'm glad you don't feel insecure now that you saw the picture. Must be a relief. Yep. And a lot of the insecurity has been relieved by my FWH actions. Don't get me wrong I still feel insecure every now and then, but I am sure that is to be expected.
Praying4Peace Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 My xMM is now magically 'unblocked' so that is why I was asking. If it's her I don't really care that much. She is free to look at my profile pic- we know each other in real life so it can't really be that fun.
Author underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 My xMM is now magically 'unblocked' so that is why I was asking. If it's her I don't really care that much. She is free to look at my profile pic- we know each other in real life so it can't really be that fun. Please understand that it is not fun to look at your WH's AP. And boy am I glad I don't know her in real life. I have a little bit of crazy in my family history and don't know what I would do if I saw her in real life. Even this far out. 1
dichotomy Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 On counsel’s advice, I invoke my right under the Fifth Amendment not to answer, on the grounds I may incriminate myself. 4
Author underwater2010 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 On counsel’s advice, I invoke my right under the Fifth Amendment not to answer, on the grounds I may incriminate myself. I love that you keep me on my toes. You have taught me that it is okay to laugh at all of this.
lilmisscantbewrong Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I never looked at her stuff as she is meaningless to me, but she still stalks me and its creepy I stopped looking at his stuff about 3 months dday as it made me feel creepy You stopped looking at his stuff? Did you have an affair too?
bellasue Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 After our d-day, I immediately unfriended xMM BS FB...(he doesn't have his own). We all know each other, and I thought it would be creepy either way for me to look at her stuff, or for her to continue to want to see mine. xMM and BS wanted to see my kid's prom dress that day, we were to stop by and show them. In his farewell TEXT he said "Don't bring ____ over. Just post it on FB and she'll (the BS) will see it. I was totally like "huh?"
jnel921 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 I still check cellphone records. This is how I noticed the texts and calls in the beginning. Every now and then I read his texts. I haven't found anything but then again that means nothing still. 1
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