luvthisbar Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 My sister was at a bar with her friends for a birthday and I happened to meet a friend of her friends. I dont know why, but there was something about this girl that just attracted me to her and for the longest time I couldnt stop thinking about her. She is not super attractive and wasnt all dressed up, she is a just a simple, plain jane, innocent looking girl. Out of my character but stuck in my head! Anyways, we exchange numbers. Next day she leaves for Mexico with family for 3 weeks. The day she gets back I leave for Europe for a month with friends. The entire time we are CONSTANTLY emailing each other. My sisters friend tells my sister to tell me to not "hit it & quit it" because she is not that type of girl. She is reserved and hasnt really ever had a boyfriend. But thats cool, because that wasnt really my plan. I get back into town and call her, she doesnt pick up. She texts saying sorry I was eating, whats up? We text back and forth for a few more days. I try calling again, she doesnt pick up, she texts an hr later saying sorry I was busy. I tell her to call me when she is free, she doesnt. She just keeps texting. Its been about 4 months and all we do is text. Frustrated I just stop initiating conversation with her because I felt I was always doing all the work. When I contact her, she replies right away, but she rarely messages me first. She has a few times but not many. So after I disappear for a few days she sends me some stupid picture thats supposed to be funny. I write back saying lol, how are you? We talk for the day and I say goodnight and stop texting again. A few days later she doesnt say a word but sends another stupid picture of a dog and some dumb saying under it thats supposed to be funny. I think its cute that she finds her innocent jokes your 6th grade english teacher might show the class to be funny. I reply and ask her to hang out with me the coming weekend. She says she will let me know. Friday I messaged her and said lunch tomorrow? She says maybe. Sat I message her and say lunch today? she says she cant, but she will be going out with friends tonight and named off a local bar/club. I dont know if she was inviting me or what, but I said well have fun. I will be at a buddys playing poker, as I already had plans. I havent talked to her for 3-4 days and guess what.. another picture..?? This time it was making fun of being addicted to chips because I just the other day I told her I cant stop eating chips once I start. I havent even replied.. Should I? I feel like im being played here and putting in wayyy too much effort. I have never worked this hard for a girl in my life and its driving me insane. Specially because I've talked to her everyday for 4-5 months now. I dont need a chat or text buddy, I have enough friends as it is. Any insight as to what I should do would help. I want to just ignore her now but I feel guilty and a part of me is thinking why throw all of it away after working this hard.. I do still like her and would like to get to know her. Also another weird thing, I send her pics all the time and she loves them. But she rarely sends pics and when she does, they are of her shoes, or her food, or her new jeans.. Never of her. ?? Thanks in advance!
natwilliams Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would forget about her. Or more importantly, focus on other girls out there. Don't get "one-itis". Feel nothing for this girl until she gives more, which seems like it won't even happen anyway. You could also try being more suggestive and flirty in texting and if she doesn't respond then you know for sure you're done. Honestly I experienced this a lot!!! I find that girls do it when they are not sure, they have trouble making decisions firmly in their minds. So they will keep their options open. It's actually kinda rude I think. They just expect you to get the idea and move on, so they don't have to say I'm not interested. You could also trying pushing her away - text her "I'm busy right now, text you soon" and then never do. That way she realizes you're not desperate - you just don't care. Flip it around on her. Or invite her to something, and if she says maybe. Respond back "Oops haha someone just took me up on it", or "Damn, just got a full car", so she feels punished for her ambivalence and next time makes a decision. Also you could try to create attraction somehow. Text more value - communicate your awesomeness (i.e. travel, success, parties you go to, cool things you do, etc.) But again use timing and push away attitude. Be aware of the validation junky. She may just be reigniting texts with you to get you to keep trying as it makes her feel wanted. You may even be able to use this side of her to attract her, but that means doing just the opposite of what you're doing - you have to keep leaving her hanging. Another level - this would really be going far, but you can even start mentioning things from your dating/sex life even if it's totally made up. She sounds like someone who will respond strongly to jealousy. Just say "I'm going to the country side with my friend Sophie for a few days! Super excited. how are you?" you get the idea...
jphcbpa Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 why would you want to go on a date with someone who will not talk to you on the phone? 1
Carenth Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Advice on playing games. Don't play games. Move on and find someone worth your time.
todreaminblue Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 top me texts are a non invasive way to talk to some one they can answer them if they want or....not.... i screen my phone calls.......if they are private i dont answer them....i have a large family my phone rings off the hook.....i have answered four phone calls this morning.......i get tired of this on a daily basis/.....it may not be a game to this girl you are with....ask her directly......to go on a date...if sh elikes you...she will...if she doesnt ...she wont...deb
salparadise Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I think she's emotionally unavailable, socially inept, stunted. She enjoys validation but that's enough for her. She's afraid to open herself up to anything more. You gave her a chance and she couldn't deal with it. You can't fix her, sadly, so don't make the mistake of trying. You can't have a relationship with someone who has no ability to reciprocate. I think it's massive insecurity and feelings of unworthiness. I'm guessing her parents expected perfection, were overly critical and never gave unconditional love. It's a shame but all you can do is move on with your life. 1
shexy Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 It sounds to me like she's not really interested in you, but she's not telling you that because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. You're doing ALL the work.
charlietheginger Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 (edited) Ive walked on water run through fire Can't feel it anymore Those are the lyrics from a" new dawn fades " Its about relationships and the games people play How he wants something more but its the same old Same old run around bull****..... Imo let it go and find someone else Edited June 6, 2013 by charlietheginger
RogerWallace111 Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Considering she keeps hitting you up even after you go days without contacting her, I don't think she's "not that interested". Nor do I think she's playing games to keep you on a leash as her pen pal. She doesn't sound like she's developed to the ego-boost seeking phase of womanhood. From the info you've given, and her being shy/never having had a boyfriend, I'd gather that she's just scared to meet up with you in real life because she's afraid she'll be awkward. Or is just generally afraid of "boys". If she really has minimal experience with the opposite sex, it wouldn't be weird that she likes you & enjoys keeping in touch with you, but just doesn't know how to handle "romance". And finds the idea daunting so stays in the faceless comfort zone. I remember, in high school, telling this girl very forwardly that I wanted to take her out. She was the classic loner type with an unacknowledged beauty/cuteness, and always acted super bashful & tongue-tied around me. I knew she was "into me", but she got really flustered, gave me some bullsh*t excuse, and fled the scene when I tried to "get real". 2
jolie_baby Posted June 6, 2013 Posted June 6, 2013 Considering she keeps hitting you up even after you go days without contacting her, I don't think she's "not that interested". Nor do I think she's playing games to keep you on a leash as her pen pal. She doesn't sound like she's developed to the ego-boost seeking phase of womanhood. From the info you've given, and her being shy/never having had a boyfriend, I'd gather that she's just scared to meet up with you in real life because she's afraid she'll be awkward. Or is just generally afraid of "boys". If she really has minimal experience with the opposite sex, it wouldn't be weird that she likes you & enjoys keeping in touch with you, but just doesn't know how to handle "romance". And finds the idea daunting so stays in the faceless comfort zone. I remember, in high school, telling this girl very forwardly that I wanted to take her out. She was the classic loner type with an unacknowledged beauty/cuteness, and always acted super bashful & tongue-tied around me. I knew she was "into me", but she got really flustered, gave me some bullsh*t excuse, and fled the scene when I tried to "get real". I think it is this. So if you really like her you would need to find a way to getting her out of her comfort zone at least once, take the lead one more time and make plans... and her attitude may change after going out. I think she is into you but doesn't know how to handle it.
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