ANewton Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I am going to cut, what is now, a very long story short. My girlfriend cheated on me for 2 years, I found out a year in, but then with here lies, she kept the other relationship going while still with me for a year. I still had feelings for her, then slowly over the last 18 months they have left me. I don't love her any more, I still care and don't want to see her hurt but that's just the way I am. I finally found the courage to tell her that I don't think we should be together because I can't pretend any longer, we stopped sleeping together about 3 months ago and I don't get close to her, I simply can't play the role any longer. I then moved out of our flat 2 weeks ago and left her there, our lease runs out in 2 months. Since then I get phone calls, texts, emails and when we did meet, discussions along the lines of "I have nothing else to do, nowhere to go", "I have noone else", "I really loved you", "you really loved me" then in the same sentence, "you couldn't have loved me, because if you did then you wouldn't be doing this now", just everything she can think of, to make me feel guilty. She has a small financial problem, whereas she will now have to live in a room in a shared apartment and she says that she can't cope with that. She is virtually trying to force me to be with her, faking illness, was in hospital at the weekend making me come and visit her. I mean really, what the heck am I supposed to do?? I am loosing it, I really am a strong person, but she is breaking me down, bit by bit now, she has decided that she is going down and taking me with her. How can she want to be with me if I she knows that I don't have deep feelings for her? Is the only solution to change my number, email, make myself disappear? Has anybody been in a similar situation, what is the best thing to do? Help.
KatZee Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 She clearly just took advantage of you for years, thought she could go out and do whatever the hell she wanted and thinking you'd never leave. She sounds completely selfish and self absorbed and it's so low for her to throw in your face the "If you loved me you wouldn't be leaving me." You should just send her one final text saying: "Whatever issues you have now are your own problems. Please stop trying to manipulate this situation to better suit you. If YOU had loved me, you wouldn't have cheated on me for three years. Please do not contact me from this point forward. I wish you the best." And then just block her everywhere. 5
Sneaky Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 She sounds like a horrible manipulative person and she is trying to drag you down into her misery. I would block all lines of communications. She is a liar and a cheat. She does not get to say something like, "you couldn't have loved me." She wronged you, not the other way around.
Author ANewton Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I found out how low she was prepared to stoop when she was with the other guy, but still being "in love" blinded me, then it all came rushing back, I can't forget everything that happened. She is quite nasty that's true. I just don't understand how another person can torture somebody, me, when they explicitely say "I don't have feelings for you, I don't want to start our relationship again". I think technically the only thing will be to block all comms, change telephone number and email address. The only motivation is money, she wants an easy ride, but surely she can find that with some other guy now, she could easily attract somebody else. If I wasn't worth it when I was giving my best, I sure am not going to be much use to her as a partner when my heart has already been broken, bruised and burt to a cinder, what does she want from me?
CaliBabe Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 If I wasn't worth it when I was giving my best, I sure am not going to be much use to her as a partner when my heart has already been broken, bruised and burt to a cinder, what does she want from me? What does she want? She wants money and an emotional crutch! Don't be that for her. You are and deserve better than that. Do not allow her to use you any longer. Ignore and delete. Block her from any way of getting a hold of you. She will not die, she will learn to adapt and her life will go on. Please do what is best for you. After this point, you realize what is going on, if you are used again, it is your fault.
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Is the only solution to change my number, email, make myself disappear? Help. yep. the only reason she keeps doing it is because you keep answering. don't enable her. 2
amaysngrace Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Whoa she is crapping all over you again and again and again. It's time to stop it. You should never be anybody's toilet.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 You let her cheat on you for a year and you are indulging her with communication now? She's not the problem, you are. You need to grow a set of balls and disassociate with this woman permanently by any means necessary. Why you didn't do this from the moment you discovered her cheating is beyond me. 1
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