Crailberry Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Before I begin, just wanted to say that my actions/decisions have been based on what I've read on this forum on and off for the last couple weeks. Me and my ex girlfriend have now been "Exes" officially for the last month and half or so. Before that, there was a 2 month period of us still being together, spending the night with each other every night, but weren't officially together. During that 2 month period I wanted to get back together, but eventually got tired of it never happening, and started texting her less, sending shorter and less detailed texts, etc. And it kinda just stopped. Although this all started because of issues she caused, it wasn't a bad breakup, it just happened? I dunno. So a couple weeks ago I walked out of a fast food restaurant and she happened to be in the drive thru and saw me. As I drove away I got a text saying "You look good....". And I simply replied in a surprised manner, saying I thought she got a new job, she replied saying she was getting food, and I said oh ok yeah I didn't know or else I would have said hey, and also told her thanks, I'm sure she looks good as always also. She replied, I said something unimportant, then she said something unimportant, and left it at that. I didn't respond to her last message. Then 4 or 5 days later I get a text from her around 9pm saying "hey". I text her back 20mins later and say "Well hey". She doesn't respond. So the thought occurs to me, that maybe her being away from me has made her realize that she does want to be together, and that it's possible she's afraid to put herself out there due to the possibility of me having a girlfriend already and then she gets hurt emotionally, so she's second guessing saying anything to me at all. So I text her at 11pm that same night and say "Hm. Okay....How are you _____". She texts me at 8am the next morning saying "Sorry I fell asleep." Which is probably not true. I don't respond. So after reading some things on here about breadcrumbs, I decide to save her and myself some time. I text her the next day and say: Me: I don't know why you decided to text me, but i'll just get to the point. I'm still in love with you, and I miss you. So if you've started to realize certain things, and you want to work things out/start over/whatever, now you know how I feel. Me: But if you're dating someone and/or just want to know if I'm miserable, don't bother. And need to keep it No Contact. Her: I just wanted to see how u were. Me: I'm doing great. Her: Ha that's good.... And that was the end of that conversation. 2 days later, I get a text from her at 9:45pm saying, "I'm on my period...and I miss your foot/leg rubs right now... :(". I didn't respond (it's now been about a day and half since that text btw). To me, that didn't sound good. She made it sound like the only reason she was missing my foot/leg rubs was because she was on her period. Honestly, she's really prideful and stubborn, so I'd be willing to put money on it that she misses me in general, and not only because she's on her period. But I think that message sounds like, "I know you still love me now that you told me, so I'm gonna try and manipulate you and see how I can use this to my advantage, cause I obviously still have a hold on you emotionally". From what I've gathered from being on this forum, the only thing I should be really be bothering with from her is: "Look I miss you and I love you, I know I treated you not as good as I should have in the past, and I realize that now, and I regret it deeply. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, start over, blah blah, etc." or SOMETHING along those lines, right? Otherwise, anything else is just breadcrumbs and her messing with my mind? Am I on the right page here? And have I handled myself somewhat well? Or should I maybe have gone over that night and given her the massage, lol. Any advice/input is much appreciated
Eddie Edirol Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 You assesed it right. What you are getting from her is called breadcrumbs. She isnt getting the attention from the new guy she likes, so she is looking for validation from you. She wants to know that SOME one still wants her. That being her texting you "hey" and you responding, giving her the power of knowing she got you to respond. But she doesnt miss you, and isnt contemplating anything with you. So dont respond to any more of her texts, it isnt going to go anywhere. Youve already seen that it goes nowhere, so dont encourage her any further.
Recommended Posts