aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I'm curious as to how many other folks suffered thru this after a break up. I'd been dealing with some anxiety and mild depression before the break up. I lost my job in February which has caused a lot of it. I've been spending a lot of time with my now ex and her kids. Now, I have too much time on my hands. The anxiety is worse in the mornings. I'm still not working and don't have the energy, drive or want to do anything right now. Is this normal? I'm usually a pretty driven person but it's all out the window. I feel kind of weak. I know my ex has to still function and work and take care of her kids each day while I live alone with no commitments. I'm so anxious I wonder if I could go to work right now. I guess I'm looking for veterans success stories as to what they did to pull themselves out of the funk and get back to living again. It's important to note that now all this funk is over the break up. It also has to do with the job loss and now w/out my girlfriend, I have no family close by.
youngnlove89 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I'm curious as to how many other folks suffered thru this after a break up. I'd been dealing with some anxiety and mild depression before the break up. I lost my job in February which has caused a lot of it. I've been spending a lot of time with my now ex and her kids. Now, I have too much time on my hands. The anxiety is worse in the mornings. I'm still not working and don't have the energy, drive or want to do anything right now. Is this normal? I'm usually a pretty driven person but it's all out the window. I feel kind of weak. I know my ex has to still function and work and take care of her kids each day while I live alone with no commitments. I'm so anxious I wonder if I could go to work right now. I guess I'm looking for veterans success stories as to what they did to pull themselves out of the funk and get back to living again. It's important to note that now all this funk is over the break up. It also has to do with the job loss and now w/out my girlfriend, I have no family close by. Alone in Arizona? I'm in AZ too. I see that you and your ex are still hanging out, but not together? That must be hard. How old are you? You don't work? Maybe you can find a part time job or something?
Author aloneinaz Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 No, the ex and I broke up last Friday when I called her out for her constant poor moods, quick temper and snapping at me. God forbid anyone raised their voice or snapped at her but she felt it was ok doing it to me. We talked calmly about it and she drove down the road of "this isn't working", blah, blah, blah." I then asked her what she wanted to do and she said "she was done". I got up, told her I'd get my stuff tomorrow and left. I guess my point of this post was to get feedback from other who when they were down in the dumps and had no desire to do anything but sit around and mope, what did you do to pull yourself up? I'm sure some of this is normal and I hope the expression "time heals all" is true. Please share your success stories.
SadPanda22 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I am sorry that you are having a hard time . I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child. When my first boyfriend broke up with me last year, my depression and anxiety levels were off the charts. I would actually wake up with anxiety. Eyes not even fully open and I was on the verge of a panic attack. What a way to start the day, huh? It DOES get better, but you have to help yourself. It's difficult, because when you are depressed, you lack the motivation and desire to do the things that will actually make you feel better. You have to push yourself, I know that it's hard, I have been there. Do a morning workout to work off that morning anxiety. Like YNL suggested, perhaps you should look for some part-time work so that you can get out of the house, meet some new people, and not have so much idle time on your hands. You will feel productive and it will definitely boost your self-esteem. Force yourself to go out with friends, even if you don't feel like it (spending a lot of time with friends really helped me). Honestly, you need to just get out of the house. Isolating yourself and staying inside alone is the worst thing that you can do. It makes the world seem so small, which in turn makes your problems seem so big, and you just end up feeling more depressed. Since I could only afford a couple sessions with my therapist (I really recommend therapy if you can afford it), I bought some self-help books to read, and I actually found them to be quite beneficial. The bottom line is that in order to jump start your healing, you are going to have to push through the depression/anxiety and force yourself to do things. I got through it, and if I can get through it, you can too. I hope that you start feeling better soon 1
StraylightRun24 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I am sorry that you are having a hard time . I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child. When my first boyfriend broke up with me last year, my depression and anxiety levels were off the charts. I would actually wake up with anxiety. Eyes not even fully open and I was on the verge of a panic attack. What a way to start the day, huh? It DOES get better, but you have to help yourself. It's difficult, because when you are depressed, you lack the motivation and desire to do the things that will actually make you feel better. You have to push yourself, I know that it's hard, I have been there. Do a morning workout to work off that morning anxiety. Like YNL suggested, perhaps you should look for some part-time work so that you can get out of the house, meet some new people, and not have so much idle time on your hands. You will feel productive and it will definitely boost your self-esteem. Force yourself to go out with friends, even if you don't feel like it (spending a lot of time with friends really helped me). Honestly, you need to just get out of the house. Isolating yourself and staying inside alone is the worst thing that you can do. It makes the world seem so small, which in turn makes your problems seem so big, and you just end up feeling more depressed. Since I could only afford a couple sessions with my therapist (I really recommend therapy if you can afford it), I bought some self-help books to read, and I actually found them to be quite beneficial. The bottom line is that in order to jump start your healing, you are going to have to push through the depression/anxiety and force yourself to do things. I got through it, and if I can get through it, you can too. I hope that you start feeling better soon As someone who primarily works from home SadPanda is spot on. I've suffered from anxiety and probably even mild depression in the past but since my breakup in December the anxiety is constantly there (almost every day around 3:30ish. My suspicion is because that's roughly when she gets off of work ). You have to try your hardest to get out and about! I've recently been spending a lot of time with my old friend who I recently reconnected with because (SURPRISE SURPRISE!!) he is having major issues with his girlfriend of 7 years. We hang out at least 2 or 3 times during the week and he's been tagging along (or vice versa) on weekends with my friends. I can't lie, my wallet isn't too pleased, but at least I'm staying a little sane!
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