Dancegirl1 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Any hopeful stores of finding love again when you thought you wouldn't? Here's my break up story. Advice? I'm 18 and my 17 year old ex bf broke up with me a little more than a month ago. We dated for 15 months and we were each others first bf/gf. He said he wasn't ready/mature for a relationship. He was a mature person but not for a relationship. He said he won't want a relationship until college. He said he wasn't in the right spot when we went out and that he just kind of went with it because I liked him back...I'm just upset I held on for so long and ended up here because I could've ended it any time but I really liked him. He was always busy and had 1 or 2 days free for me. We barely talked cause of his schedule and we only called each other when there was a problem or if our convos in person wern't long enough. I led the relationship and went above and beyond for him. I didn't pour myself into him, but I tried to treat him like a prince. He didn't plan dates and would even say he was too tired to see me for 10 minutes next door to him. I'm upset I fell for a boy when I needed a man. He made me think we had potential when he'd talk about trying to date during college but I could tell he was unsure as time went along. He was afraid I'd be too busy for him while I did junior college for now. He used to be crazy about me especially in the beginning. He used to be afraid to lose me. I guess he couldn't handle a relationship anymore. He said he couldn't have friends because the days he was free, he used them for me. He never tried doing group hangouts and thought I was clingy thinking I wouldn't do them. I would like some alone time after not seeing him for a week tho... He was supposed to go away all summer for work and I guess he told his family he didn't want to do that to me (even tho we agreed we were worth it). Well now he can't go anymore and I have to see him all summer. He's a different guy now. He used to be introverted while we dated and barely had friends because of it and was always tired. Now he's trying to be outgoing and make all these new friends. He's like trying to gain popularity. He avoids me and is kind of jerky by me. Idk if that's because he wants to be like me cause I'm outgoing and have friends, or since his sport and school ended, he's filling that time of me and not working this summer with other things. He's so weird right now. He also told me he didn't want to take advantage of me for another month until he had to leave on a plane. He liked someone after we broke up and flirted with her in front of me and always likes her photos and stuff on facebook. How could he move on so fast?! Guess I really didn't mean much to him then..He blocked me from his friend list and removed any photos of us from his profile. He thought I was flirting with guys a week after we broke up (I thought I wasn't) and told his sister that made him upset because he then thought I didn't like him while we were dating? So maybe he's doing this on purpose? He's a nice guy and everyone only sees that nice Christian boy side of him while I see and experienced his jerky side. I know I deserved to be treated better but I really did like this dumb boy. I hope he sees when he's older what he had. How can I move on and let go of any feelings/anger towards him? Some days I'm over him, others I'm not. I know I'm young and so was he, but we didn't just want to be another high school relationship. I'm not hurt we ended, I'm hurt he led me to believe he was in this and that he got over me so fast. I sometimes think I just miss that feeling of love and having that connection with someone, but then I think of the little things I liked about him and I really do miss him.
KatZee Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 You will always find love again. If I've learned anything from my teenage years to my late twenties, it's this. Life does go on, and you shouldn't really put so much emphasis and importance on boyfriends. Majority of relationships do NOT work. The one that works, is the one that ends in marriage... even then there's no real guarantee it's for life. So enjoy the relationships you have. Even if you end on a bad note, try to figure out what the lesson was and what you've learned. Take each relationship as an opportunity to grow on a deeper level. Mentally, and emotionally. Even if you're feeling bad one day, try to remain positive. Always find the good in what is going on. Rely on friends! Get out there and just be happy. Do new things, have a blast. Life is better when you're out and smiling and living a full life. You WILL find love again. Of course you will, are you kidding? You're 17! You're going to find another love, and then another one after that, and probably another one after that! Every person who comes into your life, comes into it for a reason. They're either there to teach YOU a lesson, or you're there to teach them a lesson. When their job is done, the relationship is over. Nothing lasts forever, we outgrow relationships and we outgrow people. I remember being 17 and loving my first boyfriend. It took a while to find my next love because I spent years being his FWB and wallowing in self pity. Don't do this. Even if you ended on good terms, go NC. You can't handle loving someone and not having them. So just start over from scratch. I found a second love, and that didn't work, and now a year after my split, I'm talking to a new guy. It's looking promising too! You're not going to wind up alone with 500 cats. Just know that things come when you're ready to have them. I wasn't ready for a new boyfriend a few months ago. I feel ready now, and boom. Guy comes out of no where. Everything will be fiiiiiine. 1
blondie 12345 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 hi I was with my ex and father of my son for 10 years I could never at the time imagine never being with him etc. here I am 5 years down the line the happiest ive ever been and if it wasn't for what happened I would never have met my wonderfull boyfriend. now when I see my ex fiancé and his new wife and kids it doesn't bother me at all actually it make me cringe when I look at him to think I ever liked him lol. good things do come from break ups believe me xx
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