Mimo93 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Me and my boyfriend have had lots of ups and downs lately.. Not so long time ago he got pretty cold.. He changed alot. It freaked me out. Cuz I felt like he didn't care about me anymore.. That he got sick of me. But we talked and he said sorry for bein like that, and that he had lots of pressure and stress cuz of work and family.. And I told him it was okay. And I'm sorry if I put more pressure on him.. But now again.. our relationship is not so well.. We both argue about the smallest things, and we both get mad and everything is ****ed up!! I don't want it to be this way.. But I don't know what the problem is!! He told me I'm not showing any care or Love.. This made me pretty shocked.. Cuz I'm sure there's no girl out there who will or have loved him as much as I do. And he says he gets pissed off when I ask him if there's somethin wrong when there's nothin wrong.. And now he has been spending so much time out with friends and parties. We dont get to talk so much anymore. But I miss him like so ****in much!! And we don't wanna leave each other.. We have a LDR. (Guys, no need to be judgemental, this is my choice.. This is what I want..) I just want to know, what are good tips to make this love alive again.. He pisses me off when he goes out with friends, and sleeps over in a hotel with the guys and his friend's girl friends come over as well. I am sure girls would flirt with him and try to get his attention.. (He is very attractive..) But he says even tho there will be girls, it doesn't mean he'll do anythin.. Even if his friends do. Wtf? Why go there in first place when he knows I hate that? I hate when he has to be so kind and actually drive his sister's friend back home, so she doesn't walk alone at night... Why wouldn't his bro do that? Or why doesn't the girl call her bro or dad?! Oh and in addition, he has 3 phones. He works in a company. I understand he might be busy and that he needs an extra phone for work.. but 3 phones?! There are so many things that piss me off! And we are both stubborn.. which makes things worse.. Last night he asked me if I want to leave him.. He doesn't understand how much I love him. But he says that I must keep in mind there is no guy out there who will ever love me as much as he loves me! We're so ****ed up.. But I want him. This is makin me sad. I can't imagine him being with someone else. I can't leave him. But I don't know what's going on with us...
jphcbpa Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 This is not love. I would suggest a book called "Real Love" by Greg Baer "In order to be happy, what we all want more than anything else is to feel loved. We prove that every day with the songs we sing, the movies we watch, the books we read, and the conversations we have. Love is the strongest theme uniting all these activities, but it’s not just any kind of love we’re looking for. What we all want most is unconditional love, or Real Love. Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s not Real Love when you do what I want and I like you. That’s relatively worthless; that’s earning or buying love. It’s Real Love when you make mistakes and inconvenience me, but I’m not disappointed or angry. Sadly, few of us have sufficiently received or given that kind of love—not just during our marriages but for our entire lives. From the time we were small children, we observed that when we didn’t fight with our sisters, didn’t make too much noise in the car, got good grades, and were otherwise obedient and cooperative, our parents and others smiled at us, patted our heads, and spoke kindly. With their words and behavior, they told us what good boys and girls we were. " - Greg Baer
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