bolase Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I work with his guy who is fairly new (2 months) but I have known him a little for about 6mo. We work on different things entirely but bump into each other all the time. He has recently (1mo) broken up with his 4-year girlfriend. I have been single around 6mo. I get the feeling he smile more than usual around me sometimes or is very grateful when I make him coffee (i ask everyone), little clues...but he is gorgeous in my eyes, smart, confident, and his ex was also gorgeous - so no reason he should be shy around women). I'm interested but assumed he was not until recently. I said out loud I felt like something to eat and he said he'd come with me, then it turned out he wasn't even hungry. we wandered around for an hour, got on really well, lots of laughs. He said he never wants to get married, also asked me if I had a boyfriend). Then going back towards our building he asked me what I was doing that night (Friday) - but he kinda said it like "If you want to do something..I'm bored, so.." I said I'd like to go out but I was flying out the next morning early (true) to give a presentation so had better not. (Why would a guy say he is 'bored' and think that will make you want to hang though?? Was it just fronting? Man, I want to believe he is into this ) But then another coworker suggested going to the bar at 5, so I went for one drink, and he came and sat next to me and we talked until I said I was leaving, at which point we ALL left, and I think he thought I rejected him as I told him I wouldn't go out, then went out with the group anyway (but left early). This week he's just been normal, hasn't asked me what I"m doing after work, just says bye... Edited June 5, 2013 by bolase
will1988 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 These are the possible three scenerios, that I see from what you've discribed. 1. He believes you rejected him. You told him you couldn't hang out, then you hung out at the bar, then left early. That would explain his current attitude. 2. He realizes he is not interested in you anymore and or wants to play the field a little (especially being so fresh out of a 4 year LTR). 3. He is interested in you, and feels like you may be too... but he wants you to chase him a little, since he already asked you out. The ball is in your court type of deal. I honestly do not know which of the three it could be. If I were you, I would just approach him this week, talk to him a bit and ask him to hang out with you this weekend. Gauge his response. 1
clia Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Or 4. He is just a guy who is trying to get to know one of his coworkers better and isn't interested in anything beyond friendship. Maybe it's because I go out for food and drinks often with my (male) coworkers, but I'm not seeing anything from what you posted that signals romantic interest versus friends/coworkers type interest. I mean, I can think of explanations for all of this that don't go beyond friendship: I get the feeling he smile more than usual around me sometimes He may smile a lot when you aren't around, and you may not know it. or is very grateful when I make him coffee (i ask everyone), Polite. There are secretaries here who cut up fruit and make fruit cups for their bosses and the bosses are very grateful, but definitely not interested in a relationship. I said out loud I felt like something to eat and he said he'd come with me, then it turned out he wasn't even hungry. Maybe he was bored and just wanted to get out of work for awhile. Was the weather nice? Then going back towards our building he asked me what I was doing that night (Friday) Polite, normal question to ask a coworker on Friday. Don't you ever ask people what their plans are for the weekend, even you aren't romantically interested in them? Haven't you ever asked anyone that question and not been fishing to invite them to do something? But then another coworker suggested going to the bar at 5, so I went for one drink, and he came and sat next to me and we talked until I said I was leaving, Sitting next to you doesn't mean a whole lot. I've sat next to people I really disliked because it would have been rude and obvious not to. Did he go out of his way to somehow sit by you, or was it just the natural flow? And, duh, you were sitting next to each other, so of course you would talk to each other. I'm also not really following why you think he thinks you rejected him either, when you had already told him earlier in the day that you had to get up early the next morning so you weren't doing anything that night. I'm also not sure what it is he might've thought you were rejecting, since it doesn't sound like he put a move on you or asked you out. Anyway, right now I'm not seeing anything beyond normal coworker interactions. Maybe let some more time elapse and see how he acts. JMO. 2
Author bolase Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Thanks, haha yes I realise those are all probable options too. NZ He did ask me to do something after asking me what my plans were, saying if I were free we could do something, if i wanted..he was bored, etc, but in a hesitant way. That's really the only signal I have. Just decided to accept that he is not interested, or he would be more forward than this. It's made me a tad sad but I'm sure someone new will come along at some stage.
Recommended Posts