millie91 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 It's only been a few days since my boyfriend of 2 and a half years ended our relationship.. one minute it seemed as though it was all going great, then the next day following a small disagreement over the phone he decided he was done for good, told me he didn't love me anymore, that i wasn't worth being in a relationship with, that he never wants to see me again (only a few of the things he said). I went through alot in this relationship, including a pregnancy he wanted me to get rid of and lies and promises about a future with him..he just changed within the last few months and started to pick fights and tell me he wants to be on his own and do what he feels like, not be committed or take care of someone else, that he needs to 'focus on himself and do whats best for him'.. long story short, the last 6 months for me have been the hardest of my life, he was my first boyfriend (I'm 22) and my first love, he promised me a future, and recently after everything that we had been through really affected him and changed him for the worse. It's been a few days now since he dumped me, and while I havent contacted him and he hasnt contacted me, I don't feel the need to talk to him as such. I just want answers I know i can't get, like why did he do this, why me, why didnt he end it differently or on a good note when i didnt do anything wrong to him or hurt him in any way? I just don't know if the feelings I'm having are normal.. is it okay that I miss what we had? I miss the times we spent together, every small, silly thing, every nice moments we shared I miss them. I dont know if I miss him per se, because theres a part of me which is so hurt and broken because of him that I feel like I don't miss him anymore. I just miss the times we had, and how he used to be really great to me in the beginning of the relationship. How do i let go of these memories? I really want to get my life back on track and be happy again, I'm so sad at the thought of how it all just ended when I didn't expect it to. The last time I saw him, I could never have imagined it would have been the last time, and he just ended it on the phone a few hours after that over a disagreement- it's as if he used that as an opportunity to leave me, and to make it seem like I'm the one at fault. For alot of reasons there is no going back ever and I won't ever be with him again, first and foremost because he is moving back to the UK to start his new studies since he was not doing so great at university here. He promised me so many times how we would be friends after he left and end it on good terms, I just want to know why he just ended it like that when it was in his control to end it differently and not hurt me? I have come to terms with the fact that there is no going back.. but why do I have these feelings of missing us, and is it normal to keep thinking this way? My friends are surprised at how I don't hate him right now, but they don't really understand that I still do love him because he was my first boyfriend and first love, maybe I'm not IN love with him, but I don't think I can hate him as yet until all this makes sense to me. I just want to know if all these feelings im having after being dumped are normal, because I should be really angry i know, but i still wake up in the morning and my mind is so full of memories with him and missing our routine and simple little things about the relationship we had. Would really appreciate any advice or help. Thanks!
Giha Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Any answer you get to any of the questions you ask won't satisfy you. Bottom line is he is gone. The rest matters little. "Missing us" is the most normal feeling you could feel right now, I think. I believe amost everyone here feel this way about their relationship with their ex. But I think it's good that you separate missing the relationship and missing him. Know that though you will not be with him again, you will definitely be in a new relationship and probably even a better one and everything that comes with it. It's tough but you will get throught it.
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