Bunnyrabbit Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I wanted to see this lawyer who also works as a mediator but she can't see me until next week and she charges $250 for a consultation. I found someone else who could see me for free today. He took his time and I asked him some questions. I found out that hubby can't get out of paying me alimony (being that he's the main bread winner) and I am entitled to half of the pension he purchased during our marriage like everything else is split 50/50. We don't have kids or any assets. Hubby and I had talked about seeing a mediator but now the attorney warned me using a mediator (which was something he doesn't work with by the way) because he felt a mediator would be too neutral and not look out for my best interest. Also, hubby has most of the information and power when it comes to our finances and could make it go his way. It sounds like this could be true but I find myself being very cynical towards lawyers and how they want your money so they'll say anything you want to hear. He would charge me a $5000 retainer and didn't think our case would go over that amount. I also asked him about my situation being that I have to leave the country for a couple of months. He said that's fine but that I'm actually more vulnerable now since I haven''t filed for divorce yet. Hubby can take money out as of now and it will be harder to find. At this point we have everything joined. I feel like he's not touching this right now because he's hoping I will not file since he doesn't want divorce knowing it will cost him a lot. But the lawyer felt that he can start moving money around and if I would to file now or before I leave he's not allowed to touch anything and I have legal rights. This sounds like it's probably true? Even though I left his office realizing I have the right to alimony and more I felt sick to my stomach afterwards. I'm really struggling going through with this and I'm worried my "niceness" and being indecisive and not taking the step toward filing will really come back and bite me. It's like I'm waiting for more "proof" that I'm doing the right thing because this legal thing scares me and I feel so alone in all this. This is all new to me and I'm so afraid to go about it the wrong way. I think I need to see at least one more lawyer to see what's out there and not rush into the first one? Am I overthinking it all or should I be careful? Even though I was glad the lawyer could see me today on such short notice for free it made me wonder why he's not that busy? If he's good shouldn't he be busier? His rating on Avvo is around a 6 which is not great. How long did you take to find your attorney and how many did you see before making a decision whom to go with? Edited June 5, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
Damia Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Bunnyrabbit none of us are prepared for any of this EVER ! im sorry you are going through it The only thing you can do is arm yourself with information. The Internet is great to find out the matrmonial laws for where you live. Ask around for recommendations ,ask everyone you know ,your hairdresser friends of friends. Then try to listen to your instincts if this guy does not feel right he probably is not right for you? Take copies of all your accounts ,insurance policies and any important documents. Even if you don't need them you have them if you find you do. I have a lawyer I have already paid over $5000.00 NZ with no results ,my x just stonewalls so now we are going to try mediation with lawyers present. Fingers crossed this works because court proceedings are the last step at huge expense. We do have children and assets. You might have to try a few different things to find the right solution for your situation. Good luck and stay strong For what it is worth I found a IC helped me see things more clearly
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