Chris715 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 My ex girlfriend broke up with me around 5 months ago but I only went full NC for like 2 weeks now, starting in May, and it's probably been the most painful month of my life. It feels like I'm never going to care about anyone or love anyone but her again and I need to get her back. I'm going to break NC tonight and see how it goes, what should I say? Any ideas for getting her back at this point? I'm seriously lost, depressed, and desperate at this point and I think I've hit rock bottom.
McGriff Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 My ex girlfriend broke up with me around 5 months ago but I only went full NC for like 2 weeks now, starting in May, and it's probably been the most painful month of my life. It feels like I'm never going to care about anyone or love anyone but her again and I need to get her back. I'm going to break NC tonight and see how it goes, what should I say? Any ideas for getting her back at this point? I'm seriously lost, depressed, and desperate at this point and I think I've hit rock bottom. Because you're "lost, depressed and desperate" you are in no mental shape to contact her! That is the WORST time to try and do anything regarding her, because you are gonna end up looking completely WEAK. For your own good, just wait it out til you get to a point of emotional stability. There's nothing wrong with deciding to contact her---it's your life, do what is right for you, but for gods sake, wait until you get your emotions in check! Give yourself some more time, hell, she may even contact YOU in that time. Please, please, please reconsider at this point bro. 4
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 DO NOT BREAK CONTACT. DO NOT. It delays the inevitable pain. Tell us more about your story. Maybe that will help us around here provide you additional insight. How long relationship? Are you the dumper/dumpee? What happened? Ages? Why you remained in contact for 4 months after and what kind of contact was it? What made you decide to go no contact 2 weeks ago? Why do you want to break it? 1
Author Chris715 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 DO NOT BREAK CONTACT. DO NOT. It delays the inevitable pain. Tell us more about your story. Maybe that will help us around here provide you additional insight. How long relationship? Are you the dumper/dumpee? What happened? Ages? Why you remained in contact for 4 months after and what kind of contact was it? What made you decide to go no contact 2 weeks ago? Why do you want to break it? 1 year relationship I'm the dumpee. We started a relationship when she was really depressed/suicidal. Even after we broke up she was still this way, hence the prolonged contact because I really wanted to be there for her since I obviously still cared about her and loved her. Eventually she gets over the depression, starts to push me away, and basically admits she just used me for comfort during that time and now I'm hurting like hell over it. The contact was texts, phone calls, and we would hang out. She kept telling me she needed space after she got over her problems but I wasn't disciplined enough to give it to her and kept pushing for contact because of my feelings and pain. 2 weeks ago we got in a huge fight over that, and the fact that she used me, and NC since then. I want to break it because I'm feeling desperate for her at this point as pathetic as it is. This is the first girl I've ever really connected with, cared about, and loved and I can't imagine my future without her. I have no desire to date anyone else, care about anyone else, or love anyone else. And I'm 22, she's 19 if that helps at all.
Chi townD Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Dude, DO NOT CONTACT HER!!! What happens if you contact her and she isn't thrilled to hear from you? That talking to you is a chore to her? You're gonna feel worse! DON'T DO IT!!! Why the hell would you want to talk to a person that admittedly used you? That's not how that works in her eyes. She uses you, you don't use her for comfort or to get an ego boost or a warm fuzzy. DON'T DO IT!!! Post here instead. JUST GET THROUGH TONIGHT!!! 2
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 AHA! You are a fixer. Careful my friend. You will encounter women like this throughout your life, that suck you dry, yet allow you to hide from yourself. Codependency. You like feeling needed... You believe it's safe and that they'll always need you and never leave you. Unfortunately, this isn't typically the reality. You deserve better. You just have to believe that. Even when you feel empty and hopeless. Relationships should involve a give and take where you each partake and fill each other's cups, if you will forgive me for the analogy. She likely drained you dry, though the codependency filled you somehow. It would be very wise for you to figure out why you want to be with somebody like this. Don't allow yourself to cycle in and out of these types of relationships through the rest of your life. They will get you nowhere. Ask me how I know. You do deserve better. Look within yourself. You will be okay. 3
Author Chris715 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I didn't contact her tonight. I don't know when I will or if I will but I'm at least going to hold off on it until I figure this all out. And yeah, I would definitely say I'm a fixer type, and maybe relationships aren't supposed to be that way and maybe I do deserve better but it doesn't change the fact that I still miss her and what we had. Anyway, thanks for the input everyone. 1
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I didn't contact her tonight. I don't know when I will or if I will but I'm at least going to hold off on it until I figure this all out. And yeah, I would definitely say I'm a fixer type, and maybe relationships aren't supposed to be that way and maybe I do deserve better but it doesn't change the fact that I still miss her and what we had. Anyway, thanks for the input everyone. you have no reason to contact her. you did the right thing by putting that phone down. if she wanted to hear from you, she would have contacted you. begging her back and whining to her is not going to win her heart, EVER, so just get that out of your mind.
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I didn't contact her tonight. I don't know when I will or if I will but I'm at least going to hold off on it until I figure this all out. And yeah, I would definitely say I'm a fixer type, and maybe relationships aren't supposed to be that way and maybe I do deserve better but it doesn't change the fact that I still miss her and what we had. Anyway, thanks for the input everyone. Of course you miss her!!! This is normal. She was part of your life. Now there is a big fat empty hole that she used to occupy. Time to fill it with something else. If you think most of posting here don't want our ex in our lives right now... Well you are silly. We all know how you feel. That's why you post here. So we can help you on the straight and narrow. And you help us. It's all give and take. We get it dude. More than you know. 2
Author Chris715 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Of course you miss her!!! This is normal. She was part of your life. Now there is a big fat empty hole that she used to occupy. Time to fill it with something else. If you think most of posting here don't want our ex in our lives right now... Well you are silly. We all know how you feel. That's why you post here. So we can help you on the straight and narrow. And you help us. It's all give and take. We get it dude. More than you know. Well, it's good to know I'm not alone 2
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Well, it's good to know I'm not alone You are so not alone. You think I don't want to text my ex right now? Or call him? You are off your rocker. Thank goodness I deleted his number from my phone. Thank goodness. 1
Author Chris715 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 You are so not alone. You think I don't want to text my ex right now? Or call him? You are off your rocker. Thank goodness I deleted his number from my phone. Thank goodness. I've tried to delete her number so many times the last couple of weeks but haven't been able to. So more power to you.
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I've tried to delete her number so many times the last couple of weeks but haven't been able to. So more power to you. get someone else to do it, then.
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