mtnbiker3000 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? 2
nugget_718 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? You don't completely erase the memory...you just bury them deep somewhere in the back of your mind especially if you no longer have a strong feeling for the other person.
bluegreen Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 No its impossible to forget they have a saying where am from if you keep small stone in your pocket for a three days you will get used to it miss it if it's not there anymore. People always will remember but will not love for always ...
McGriff Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? So this begs the question---would you rather get breadcrumbs?
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 So this begs the question---would you rather get breadcrumbs? YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS well, sometimes. 2
bluegreen Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Well this is only our secret that we would love some bread crumb or two if they don't know and we do nothing about it what's harm in it :laugh::laugh: 1
Khlash Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 What's worse? not knowing...or an ex that claims you are so important but you know you're not? In my situation she claims I'm so important to her but its just something she says to ease her conscience.
McGriff Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 It's torturous both ways. There's no doubt about it. I've been getting breadcrumbs and it just keeps me in that "place" that you can't get out of. But then again, if I went months without hearing from her, I can only imagine how horrible that feels. Damned if you, damned if you dont!
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Yup, that is a tough one. I did get a few breadcrumbs in the first 4 to 6 weeks, but they were mostly business and as soon as I stated how I though NC was best, have heard nothing since. Not sure if the silence is out of respect for my wishes or because she doesn't give a crap any more?? This is the same woman who started crying when I asked for the engagement ring back after the BU but before NC. I let her keep it. What gives?? Anyway to answer the question, even though my own mind is a dangerous foe at times, I still think I prefer total NC to breadcrumbs. I believe this because I really feel I am nearing some sore of turning point, and I don't think I would be where I am if I was constantly being bread-crumbed. So thanks ex, I guess 2
aisuru Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 This is my first breakup ever, from a relationship of significance, that there has been no contact at all in the weeks and months following it. It's been weird for me. I sometimes think this is harder. I'm also not sure that this recent relationship wasn't more of a friendship that he was pushing into a relationship I wasn't ready for. So perhaps my feelings weren't where they should have been. I was definitely trailing him in that regard. I wanted them in that zone. I was getting to that zone. I don't know. This one has been different all the way around. The idea that he could move so quickly from wanting to move in together, discussing marriage, to breakup with no contact from him (and now NC from me) leaves me befuddled and disappointed, if not heartbroken. I just don't know... I guess he doesn't think about me.
BustedUpInside Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? Well, I guess I am a selfish pig because I would actually like to know that my ex is pining for me, but not have to deal with breadcrumbs. Like in a totally creepy way. Like I never call him and he never calls me, but once a week a team of ninja scientists sneak into his house and drug him, then put him under deep hypnosis and ask him questions about me and our relationship. He has no choice but to answer completely truthfully. Then they would leave and he would wake up the next morning, none the wiser. The next day the scientists would email me the transcript. I don't know any ninja scientists, so I guess I am just going to have to settle for No Contact, because there is no way that I am showing him that I miss him. I am going to move on and pretend to be happy until it's true. When I am happy, I probably won't care what he thinks anymore. 2
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? of course we all feel it. heck, i have plenty of demons haunting me even 10 years later. are we still on their mind? undoubtedly, yes...those passing moments when SOMETHING makes them reminisce, but their paths they've chosen have split from yours. plenty of other paths to take, my friend. i'd guess around 3 billion paths if you include the whole globe for possible women.
KPChick000 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 So this begs the question---would you rather get breadcrumbs? Ah, the question that haunts me all the time! From all the stories on here I know I shouldn't want breadcrumbs. But, not hearing a peep from him ever since I initiated NC has been torture. Sometimes I think it would help my healing if I at least knew he was missing me even a tiny bit. Just give me a sign that I/the past 3 years meant something! I've never actually gone through a break-up where both parties are so disciplined about NC (in the first few months). It's tough. It's been a hit on my ego that he doesn't feel "compelled" to contact me. But, I guess I haven't either. 3
TaylorHampton Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I doubt she has forgot about you. Some people are just better at hiding their feelings than others. It's sad how only person hurts after a breakup. If she can go move on so can you. Nothing last forever, not even pain ☺ 1
Hockeyguy19 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I would feel so much better if I just knew that my ex hadn't completely moved on. Hadn't completely removed all traces of me and us from her brain. If she still thought of me. Still thought of all of the many, many good times we had. Of course, our RS had problems and eventually failed, but I just want to know that she still thinks fondly of me. Of us. I mean we did enjoy each others company for the most part up until the very end. How can you completely erase 3 years of spending so much time with another? I know I can't! Do I still exist somewhere in there? Anyone else feel like this?? Every day of my life, but I know my ex completely moved on, she doesn't think of me, at all, our 3 years, nothing. She's too preoccupied with her new bf. I wish it wasn't the case, but I can't change it, I've done all I can, nothing worked. 2
Simon Phoenix Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 You don't want breadcrumbs. They're empty calories and they'll end up making you want to eat again. 2
cavalier99 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I talked to my ex recently about this just for you guys and posted it in another thread. * NC didnt make her miss me. * She was too busy with her new RS to think of me much * She never expected to hear from me again in her life because i said i was going NC * This didnt bother her much if at all even after 8 years together even months later. * She has no idea i was super heart broken and just thought i was happily living my life also she was SUPER relieved to be out of the RS and was happy i was out and new guy was in * Also 1st months with new guy was a massive honey moon phase that included massive amounts of sex and being inseperable form him. It is best just to suffer thru this with NC and recover because they already have and just dont care much if at all. We are ancient history to then. Unless you friend zone your ex like i have they (for the most part ) dont think about you in any substantial way. The good news is with hard core NC you recover completly and just dont care about any of the info i gleaned above! I was just like .. meh all cool ..i was just curious lol Rock on! Cav Edited June 5, 2013 by cavalier99 2
carhill Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Do I still exist somewhere in there? Depends on the person. Generally, you may exist but lack relevance. Anyone else feel like this?? I used to think differently but a lot of life experience has taught to generally accept that zero is the baseline, so expect it. 1
bugera6262 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 3 years is alot of time to forget. Im in the same boat as you, I worry about this even though it should not matter. But you will never be forgotten.
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I talked to my ex recently about this just for you guys and posted it in another thread. * NC didnt make her miss me. * She was too busy with her new RS to think of me much * She never expected to hear from me again in her life because i said i was going NC * This didnt bother her much if at all even after 8 years together even months later. * She has no idea i was super heart broken and just thought i was happily living my life also she was SUPER relieved to be out of the RS and was happy i was out and new guy was in * Also 1st months with new guy was a massive honey moon phase that included massive amounts of sex and being inseperable form him. It is best just to suffer thru this with NC and recover because they already have and just dont care much if at all. We are ancient history to then. Unless you friend zone your ex like i have they (for the most part ) dont think about you in any substantial way. The good news is with hard core NC you recover completly and just dont care about any of the info i gleaned above! I was just like .. meh all cool ..i was just curious lol Rock on! Cav Yes to all of the above!! BUT, didn't you also state you were very close to having sex with her again not that long ago. Seems someone who stated all of the above about you, would NOT be ready to bang you again so quickly???
cavalier99 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) Yes to all of the above!! BUT, didn't you also state you were very close to having sex with her again not that long ago. Seems someone who stated all of the above about you, would NOT be ready to bang you again so quickly??? Ha true. It was just that one night and it seemed almost like a weird surreal trip down memory lane type thing. We are both indifferent towards each other romantically (at least i am for sure). Both of us are happy in out new rs. She even got me a discount on a hotel for me and new girl for a trip we are taking (i can get a super rate thru her and her job). so there is absolutly no jealousy or anything like that. the tables have sorta turned. Im sure if i wasnt with new girl and she had problems with new guy id be in like filnt. But im never going back. I have grown a lot more than she has. That is the benefit of going thru a BU like we have. Forced growth! Cav i think being in touch with her some has made her remember how good a BF was. And has made her make some comparison bteween me and new guy. At same time she is happy for the most part with new guy. She definitly could still be attracted to me and probably to a point. I however am not attracted to her. Just fond. Edited June 5, 2013 by cavalier99
Runway1975 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I totally know how you feel...by being insanely haunted by an ex and the fond memories that you both have shared in the past smh...its a terrible feeling
Author mtnbiker3000 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I don't know any ninja scientists, so I guess I am just going to have to settle for No Contact Ninja Scientists. That would be... AWESOME!!! Perfect metaphor for what I want too 1
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