WPH_4486 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 This will be a little long, so bear with me. I met my now ex fiancé online almost 5 years ago when I was 23, he was 24. I fell for him quickly. Today I don't know why I did. He didn't have a job at the time and he was still living with his parents. He had ended a year long relationship 2 months prior to us meeting. She dumped him because she found a new guy. He later told me all of his girlfriends dumped him. It took him a year to commit to being exclusive with me. I guess I could understand that at the time. Fast forward...we're exclusive and I stupidly snooped through his phone because I had a bad feeling. He was flirting with women and sending dirty messages. Also, during the first part of our relationship, I was at work one day and he was at my apartment (still jobless and living with his parents-what the hell was wrong with me??) and when I got home to check my email...he had looked at porn. On MY computer. When I was at WORK. Red flag. I got mad and he said "well, just delete it." Wow, so my dumb self forgave him instead of ending it. He did eventually get a steady job, and was beginning to feel better about himself and his life. I always supported and enabled him like his parents did. Why?? I don't know. I even helped him to feel better about himself and finish his bachelors degree. He thanked me for that. He always told me I was the best thing that's happened to him and he's never connected with any other girl like he has with me. He said he had never been this far in a relationship before. Fast forward again, and I found out he was messaging girls on Facebook again and I ended it with him a day before I graduated with my masters degree in December 2011. We stayed in touch because I couldn't let him go, and we got back together in June 2012. I told him I can't be with him anymore if one more thing pops up with one more girl. He said he knew that, and that he'd changed. Yeah. Right. In July, he proposed and I said yes. We had talked about marriage before, but I wasn't expecting it to happen so quick and I really did love and care for him, and I thought he felt the same. Again, I was stupid. I know. We moved in together in August and things were going fine. In February of this year he started a new career and went to a training for several weeks. I suspected something was wrong, and he finally confessed to cheating with a girl from his training several times. I also found out he was sending messages again to other girls, including his ex who cheated on him a long time ago!! Wow. I ended the relationship on April 28, 2013. We talked for a few weeks, he apologized profusely and told me he lost his best friend and the best woman he's ever known all at once. Two weeks ago he was sending dirty messages to me. He was also sending apologetic texts & emails and crying about losing me and wanting me back. He also said he is making serious behavior changes. I don't believe that. Last Saturday I found out from a friend that he posted pictures of him and this (tacky of me to say) not so attractive at all girl. It's not the same girl he cheated with. They have already taken a trip together, and she works with him. He also posted that he is "happy." It also looks like she has 2 children. He's always told me he doesn't want to date girls with children. He even told me in one of his emails that he was too hurt to date anyone right now...& eventually if he can't be with me, he'd have to be with someone else. How can you be happy after 5 years of being involved with me and now you're with someone else?? Two weeks ago, he was begging for us to work it out!! He apparently moved on very quickly which means he never loved me nor did he care about me. As of yesterday, they're officially in a relationship. I found that out from a friend as well. He will cheat on this one too. He can't change his behavior. He's always going to want attention from other women. His friends are mad because he hasn't told them what happened. They found out we broke up through me, and the pictures he posted. They have all told me I am the best woman he's ever had, and are very displeased with his behavior. One friend even told me she's disgusted and fed up with him. I know it's not a good idea to be in contact with his friends. I've just grown close to them over all these years. Anyway, we texted today because we need to give a few things back to each other, and he told me we both need to move on. I told him I know he's moved on and I'm over him already as well. He said he wants to be friends in the future. How can we be friends again after all of this??? I guess it hurts to know he's moved on SO quickly with a girl who doesn't seem like his type at all. I suppose I never meant anything to him? This sucks. Yesterday I told myself I let him go. However, today is when I found out it's Facebook official. I just want to know if he's truly over me, or if he's rebounding and throwing it in my face just to hurt me. Confused and sad.
Sneaky Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 First off I would like to say that you should not be so hard on yourself. You're not stupid for wanting to love someone and being forgiving (within reason) it's part of what makes someone a good person. Saying that, this guy sounds like scum and a total loser. The good news is he is off your hands, you shouldn’t wonder about his future relationships because they are never going to work out and his life is going to be miserable because he is a liar and a cheat. I am really hesitant to give out advice seeing how I handled my own breakup, but I would block this guy from facebook and go No Contact. He doesn’t deserve to have you in his life, end of story.
aisuru Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 He is over you. Long over you. You shouldn't care and you should run, run, run from this guy because he will never change.
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