SimonSerenade Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 So I had a second chance, played all the right cards, did literally everything I could to make it work and though it didn't last long, we were happy, she came out and told me she only got back with me because she felt sorry for me. So as you can imagine, hearing that buried any confidence I had left, I was a fool but never again, she's a mess, I don't need that in my life, I think I got my closure because I knew in my heart I didn't do anything wrong and now I'm starting to think I didn't do anything wrong this whole time we were together, I treated her like a princess, always stood by her, forgave her for everything she threw at me, maybe that was the problem. Her dad gave her £500 for her birthday and yet she had nothing but bad things to say about him, that's not a lot to some people but that's still hard earned money, more than I ever got anyway lol, I think that's just who she is, she's a spoilt brat who desperately needs a humanity check, I think now it actually makes sense, I wasn't enough for her because nothing is enough for her. So yeah, I plan to move on and just forget about her now, even now she's messaging me being a bitch, like she has the right to after all that fake affection she threw my way and how she ended it, I need to find myself again and one day someone else can be a lucky girl to have me, honestly I don't think she'll ever find someone like me again who'll put up with how she is and treat her like I once thought she deserved to be, knowing that might just push me the rest of the way to getting over her.
na49 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Well considering you were the one who chased after her in the first place about getting back together, she probably felt pressured to say yes to you at first and realized afterwards it wasn't what she wanted. Oh well, back to square 1 I guess. I just hope you aren't chasing her again in a few weeks. If one person doesn't want a relationship to work, it ain't gonna work. 1
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Nah it was a one time what if thing, now that I know the outcome i can have my closure and just be done with it, I ain't gonna go running back again, I'll neve understand why she ended it, she even said I didn't do anything wrong so I'll probably be scratching my head for some time over that, I have other things I finally need to focus on right now so just need to keep that focus away from her and your right, if she don't want it to work it won't, simple as that.
Simon Phoenix Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Sucks. Can't say I'm surprised at all, but still, was hoping you somehow figured out how to divide by zero. 1
drr6 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) Without knowing the backstory this is quite speculative. but here goes: 1. Most redos are likely to fail. There was a reason you split up in the first place - short of somebody being relocated due to work, military ,etc. In addition to the original reasons for breaking up, now you have the additional wounds and emotional baggage of the break-up. 2. Most people do not enter a relationship out of pity. Specially self-entitled brats which this girl sounds like. As a narcissistic brat, she is probably saying this because she knows she can play you like a fiddle and it gives her an ego boost. I would very strongly doubt her claim based on the info we have so far. PS I see other posts here with some more of the backstory that you chased her to get back together. But I still don't think that means that princess took you back because of pity. She took you back because you convinced her that you had something attractive to offer her - perhaps you being her lapdog. But that's not pity, that is her using you for her benefit, ego boost, image, etc. Pity is not the motivating factor, but a wonderfully manipulative thing to claim at the end to feel superior. Edited June 4, 2013 by drr6 2
totallylost5040 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 May I ask how you got a second chance? Most of us don't, it would be interesting to hear and some good advice.
tinker683 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Damn man, sorry to hear that, I was hoping it might work out. I've been reading some of your posts it did sound like it had a chance for a moment there. But the sad truth is, relationships require both parties to have both feet in it and she wasn't. I'm sorry this happened and I hope you realize what it is you really deserve.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Without knowing the backstory this is quite speculative. but here goes: 1. Most redos are likely to fail. There was a reason you split up in the first place - short of somebody being relocated due to work, military ,etc. In addition to the original reasons for breaking up, now you have the additional wounds and emotional baggage of the break-up. 2. Most people do not enter a relationship out of pity. Specially self-entitled brats which this girl sounds like. As a narcissistic brat, she is probably saying this because she knows she can play you like a fiddle and it gives her an ego boost. I would very strongly doubt her claim based on the info we have so far. PS I see other posts here with some more of the backstory that you chased her to get back together. But I still don't think that means that princess took you back because of pity. She took you back because you convinced her that you had something attractive to offer her - perhaps you being her lapdog. But that's not pity, that is her using you for her benefit, ego boost, image, etc. Pity is not the motivating factor, but a wonderfully manipulative thing to claim at the end to feel superior. This makes an awful lot of sense and I think you hit the nail on the head, I was her lapdog and no matter what she said or did, no matter how many times she left me I stayed loyal to her and I never budged an inch, even when she did wrong I had to apologise for it :/ I never stood up for myself so she knew she could without any consequences, She probably only said that to hurt me and gain more power, she's gone now and honestly, it doesn't bother her what so ever, maybe she just needed her fix to hurt me again and move on once and for all so yeah your right. 1
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 May I ask how you got a second chance? Most of us don't, it would be interesting to hear and some good advice. We were in no contact, I had a weak moment, rang her up expecting her to just ignore me and poured my heart out to her and told her I couldn't be without her and we gave it another go, simple as that really, things were great and out of nowhere, all of this, it sucks ass but in that time I was a perfect gentlemen and treated her like a queen, so at least I know it's nothing I did, she's just bonkers.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Damn man, sorry to hear that, I was hoping it might work out. I've been reading some of your posts it did sound like it had a chance for a moment there. But the sad truth is, relationships require both parties to have both feet in it and she wasn't. I'm sorry this happened and I hope you realize what it is you really deserve. Thanks man it means a lot, I didn't get my hopes up, in honesty I kind of expected me, I just didn't want to believe me, she's become predictable, pretty much anything she says is a big dump of **** falling out of her mouth. I realised a lot, I saw myself and what she had reduced me to, I knew it wasn't right, I realised you could be the nicest person going and do everything right an this could still be the outcome, even the richest most famous people, it happens to them too, I know what I deserve and she didn't deserve all I had to offer.
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Sucks. Can't say I'm surprised at all, but still, was hoping you somehow figured out how to divide by zero. Zero was the chance it had at succeeding, I still enjoyed that brief blast from the past though and looking at the equation now, zero = she's some othe his problem now. That poor unlucky bastard.
marqueemoon4 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) If memory serves you have a child.. was this his/her mother you got the second chance with? Or is this some other bird? Edited June 5, 2013 by marqueemoon4
Author SimonSerenade Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Your memory serves correctly and no it wasn't her, it was someone I've been with for a year and a half, crazy how times change, hard to believe I first came here almost 3 years a go with similar problems, I never thought I'd get over it but I did and I never thought I'd be with anyone again but I was, it's quite comforting to think of it like that, truth be told I realised being a family was over rated and spending time with my son is much easier without her around so it all worked out for the best in that sense.
travelonic Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Without knowing the backstory this is quite speculative. but here goes: 1. Most redos are likely to fail. Statistic? [yes, being over-analytical again. .. still firmly believe success or failure is multivariable]. There was a reason you split up in the first place - Which can be really useful in determining the success or failure - or as pointless as spitting at the ceiling of a car as if you were speeding down a highway in a convertible and able to send it flying out behind you when you aren't in a convertible. Sue, there is a reason to a breakup - but to say therefore it is always to remain that way, or that most will fail is, IMO, one hell of a non-sequitur. Yes, everything has some reason for happening, but sometimes the answer is "so what?" - sometimes it is not... sometimes people work on these issues, and other times they don't, fall into the same pitfalls and fail again.
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