Redeyefly Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hey there I am new here and just want some concrete advice because I am going nuts. SO! Here is the story(apologies if I seem incoherent it is VERY late but I need to vent) We dated for two years and where very happy together(that's what I thought at least). she is turning 20 this year and I am 22. Now about a month ago she dumped me for "reasons", and as always these where vague and really nonsensical. She dumped me on a Monday morning over TEXT. WHAT! so anyway I tell her I need to go get my things at her place. that same day I arrived at her house and we didn't even talk when I showed up. I got my things and put them in my car- this whole time she didn't say a word to me so this pissed me off even more that I already was and just got in my car. As I was ready to leave I shut off my car and she walked to my window and finally we talked and I asked her why she is so focused on ending US and I got the usual "it's not you, it's me" bull**** for about two minutes where upon she finally told me these words... "there is someone else". I flipped out! Said things to her that I never would say to my worst enemy and I left. This has to be one of THE MOST PAINFUL experiences I have ever had because I loved her to death. I never cheated on her and I did everything I could do to make her happy(within reason) and was generally very loyal to her. The weekend prior to the breakup she was totally fine. we where having fun and things where just perfect. So why the hell the sudden switch? Later that day I called her and asked her why she did this to me and she said: "because I wanted to see how things between us would work out before dating him". HOW SELFISH ARE YOU BITCH! Now we had a pretty great relationship. We had ALOT of intrests in common and we where never mean to each other. We never had BIG fights and there was never any screaming or throwing of delicate objects. We always handled our problems in mature ways. the biggest problem with us tho, is that I am not really the out going tipe of person and she is pretty much an extrovert to the T. I'm guessing this has a lot to do with the breakup, Though we did go out occasionally and I would sometimes go out of my way to take her out and make her happy. She is a med student on her second year and was mostly focused on her studies when she wasn't with me. I never pestered her EVER about her work or studies and trusted her with everything and anyone. THIS IS IMPORTANT THO- she told me she accepted an offer to go further her studies overseas in Two years- this is one of her "reasons" for ending the relationship but it just doesn't make sense to me. Now this guy she left me for was someone she knew from way back in her early high-school years and she has been catching up with him over text for two months prior to the break-up. she assured me that this guy was just a "Friend" and that she would NEVER be interested in him. So she lied to my face there. But I trusted her because I thought she would respect me enough not to lie to me and loved me enough not to do that to me. well here I am. One month later and I haven't contacted her since that day we broke up.. she texted me twice two days after the break-up and once last week. just saying stuff like "I miss you" and "Can't stop thinking about you". I never texted her back though. So with that all done I ask for your advice because I almost contacted her today... I think maybe she wants me back and is waiting on me to contact her. Part of me knows I am just fooling myself here but my emotions feel like they are going to erupt and I don't know how much longer I am going to last before giving in and contacting her. If you want more information about the break-up or how our relationship was, please feel free to ask:) Much appreciated. Conrad.
TaraMaiden Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 No. No further information necessary. It was bound to happen. It's rare that young love lasts the course beyond 2 years. And very often, it IS the girl who breaks it off. Stay No Contact. Read my No Contact thread in my signature (guide in first post). And you're doing precisely the right thing by not responding. Don't be 'a friend'. It won't work (read remainder of thread). 1
Author Redeyefly Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Wow just like that? Why did she do this though? Is it just an inevitability? a statistic? It just doesn't make sense. is it the "graas is soooooooooo much greener but when I realize my mistake you will be too far gone" syndrome? It just baffles me because I loved her to death and I was sure she was the one for me. then again, probably everyone who gets dumped feels the same way. I just can't stand the fact that she is happy with this ******* and I am the one suffering crying my heart out. 1
blondie 12345 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 at least you got told the reason of someone else I found out the day after my 10 year relationship ended wen a neighbour sin his new gf go to his house and that wa the day after we split up after being together 10 year we have 7 year old son. of course he denied it and still does. id say you got out now rather than 10 years down the line like me. now im with someone else and couldn't be happier I now thank that girl for taking him away otherwise I wouldn't have met my now boyfriend xx 1
Chi townD Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) I just can't stand the fact that she is happy with this ******* and I am the one suffering crying my heart out. We are in charge of our own happiness. You're doing NC which is good. And if you only do NC; well, you'll heal but it will take longer. You need to make positive changes in your life in CONJUNCTION with NC. You'll heal a lot faster if you do. Right now, you're in NC. But, you're also sitting around wondering what YOU did wrong. Why wasn't I good enough? What does he have that I don't? blah....blah....blah..... You need to make positive changes. Go out and buy a new wardrobe, new clothes. Go out styling and profiling everyday! And get a new hairstyle that people are going to notice and like! Then, folks will start saying to you,"Damn dude! You look sharp!" This is going to help your self esteem. Dude, I can tell by your writing style that you are sooo frustrated. You need to eat healthy and get plenty of sleep. But, you also need to become a member of a gym and GO!!!! Work off all that stress and frustrations. Push weight and do cardio. Plus, you'll be working towards that rock hard and ripped bod that girls are going to DEFINITELY notice. That's going to help your self esteem as well. Go back to school and get your Bachelor's. If you already have it, then get your Masters. Keep busy with school work rather than on what's she's doing. A good education is going to open more doors for you. Even in this economy. Then, get a hobby. Most hobbies have clubs in your surrounding area with people that have shared interests. So, join a running club! They get together and run 5k, 10k, half marathons and mud runs all the time. Meet your new teammates! or a cycling club, or a mens soccer league, or co-ed softball league. You said that you're an introvert? Well, time to break out of that shell and put yourself out there! Time for people to meet you! Then travel! Go see the world! Pick a place that you've always wantesd to visit and GO!!! Take some friends with you! Make all of those positive changes and gain back your life and independence. Wouldn't it be nice if your Ex gets curious one day and tries to look at your Facebook page and see your profile pic of you standing on a beach on an obvious tropical Island with a margaritia in one hand and a Seniorita in the other wearing a micro bikini. You standing there in swimming trucks with huge biceps, six pack abs and well developed pecks with a V cut. She'll be thinking, "DAMN! I gave up that for Sqeaky, the nose picking idiot from high school? What was I thinking!" THAT'S how you get your revenge, you live a DAMN good life. Edited June 5, 2013 by Chi townD 1
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