ViolaSwamp Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I broke up with my emotionally unavailable bf a little over a month ago. The short version is that he had group sex behind my back during a brief break of ours with people I knew, lied about it, and it ultimately destroyed our relationship (our relationship was doomed to begin with because we were both emotionally unavailable - admittedly). After 2 years of lies I dumped him and then he begged and pleaded with me for a second chance..claiming he was going to therapy and had reformed and changed and wanted to make things work. I gave in and a few days later he unapologetically and spitefully had the balls to dump me out of the blue! Then began to stalk me online blatantly...which was even more bizarre. But then I realized it was about control. Ive been no contact for a little over a month now (since the day we broke up - even after a few reach out give me an ego stroke weak texts from him asking how I was doing). At first I was miserable and depressed and had to do a lot of soul searching as to why Id even date someone or take back someone so disrespectful to begin with. lets just say, Its been an eye opening experience and a bitter pill to swallow realizing I had a problem too and was just as emotionally unavailable as he was because I chose to date him. But thankfully I am a better person now and see the error of my ways and have resolved to break that bad habit and pattern in my life. My good days were abundant for a few weeks and then the tidal wave hit and I found out he had basically cheated at the end and is now with the woman he cheated with...which makes sense now why he dumped me after proclaiming he was changing. So now Im back to square one. I maintain no contact and will continue to until my feelings for him are set as the universe intended them to be - which is non existent and indifferent as because someone like him doesnt even deserve to have me breathe or even glance in their general direction and I deserve better. But Im hurt. Very hurt by this and while its not shocking as he proved himself time and again to be a lying pig, its still a bruise to my ego and I am really hoping my self esteem doesnt suffer from it. I am trying to rebuild my self esteem because two years of an emotionally abusive relationship is esteem crushing. My friends and family are sick of me talking about it and even my therapist seems annoyed when I mention how angry I am. But I wanted to tell mystory and see if anyone else has these up and down weeks where you seem to be propelling forward only to be brought to a crashing halt.
TaraMaiden Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Instead if your therapist 'being annoyed' because you mention how angry you are - how about they suggest means, methods and ways to actually work through it and dissipate it??
Author ViolaSwamp Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Well my therapist wants me to work through the anger and embrace it. She told me to embrace every emotion I feel during this process in order to heal fully. With that in mind I am trying to face it head on and then allow it to dissipate naturally. Ive also been getting out more with friends, following the cliche "doing things for me" method, and will be volunteering so I can focus my passion and energy on helping others. Im just angry. Sometimes you think you are flying fast down the road to recovery only to be met with bumper to bumper traffic.
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