Who do you miss guys?

[missunshine]

I miss someone so much... someone I know I will never get to kiss... or hug... or feel his touch....

 

who do you miss?

[BustedUpInside]

I don't miss him specifically, but I miss the closeness. Inside jokes and pet names.

[aisuru]

I miss him and I miss his friendship, but it's easing up.

 

At this point, I mostly miss being in a relationship, but I'm not really ready to do anything about it.

[Giha]

I miss her terribly. Not talking to her every night like we used to makes me feel so...empty. She was the reason I couldn't wait to get home from work. I really felt like she was perfect for me.

 

It's been a month since she broke things off and I feel it's getting better, but man does it hurt...

[tinker683]

I miss my ex...or rather the memories of her, the person she was before she became the person she is today.

 

I miss my grandmother. She grew up in Germany during WW2 and she had a toughness and fortitude that, no matter how sad I got, she always found a way to get me to endure.

 

I miss my D&D group. It was the last place I felt like I belonged

[KPChick000]

I miss him, his pretend mad face, how he used to rest his hand on my leg while driving, how we could just look at each other and involuntary smile. I miss being able to be goofy and uninhibited with someone.

 

I miss having that person that I could call "mine"; I miss being somebody's.

[SimonSerenade]

I miss a girl I was getting to know a few years a go, she had a jacuzzi, those bubbles were great for my back, now I have a bad back bad times

[missunshine]

I miss a girl I was getting to know a few years a go, she had a jacuzzi, those bubbles were great for my back, now I have a bad back bad times

lol SimonSeranade

[Treasa]

My grandpa, my aunt, and my pets who have passed on.

[Gingerlee]

i miss how easy it was. how comfortable the silences were. how playfights turned into passionate lovemaking. how we'd stare at eachother and one would say "what" and the other would say "nothing.. i just love you so much."

 

[Hockeyguy19]

I miss holding her at night, the smell of her hair, the feel of her back when I rubbed it. Her hand in mine, her smile in the morning, the look in her eye when she saved she loved me, man I miss it all. I hate that it's gone and never coming back. This thread brought me to tears, I needed it though after the crappy weekend I had and seeing her family. Ugh I hate this

Edited June 4, 2013 by Hockeyguy19

[BrokenHeartedSavior]

I miss what we were supposed to have. I miss someone who is merely a stranger to me now. I miss the "idea" of her. But honestly? I really don't miss HER, persay.

[mfleck91]

The better question what don't I miss, I miss absolutely everything. I miss her single simple when she smiled and her slightly crooked nose. I miss randomly picking her up and giving her a kiss. I miss falling asleep on the couch with her while watching a movie late at night. I miss holding her hand while on a long drive and I miss planning vacations with her. I miss calling her on my way home from work and deciding what to do when I got home. I miss waking up next to her and kissing her neck, she could never resist that. I miss playing footsies under the blanket while falling asleep. I miss having her as part of my family and being my best friend. i miss how she could be cute and innocent in public yet be incredibly sexy in private. I miss the look in her eye when she told me she loved me. I miss the way she made me feel, like I was the strongest man in the world, I miss being the only person she needed. I miss being the person she came to any time she needed help. I miss being able to be myself with her. Most of all I just miss being able to talk to her, about everything and about nothing. I too am in love with the old her, my idealized version of her. I don't know if I'd even recognize the person she is now.....I'm crying writing this....my first time crying in a while honestly.

 

I wish she could somehow see this

Edited June 5, 2013 by mfleck91

[CorridorE]

The better question what don't I miss, I miss absolutely everything. I miss her single simple when she smiled and her slightly crooked nose. I miss randomly picking her up and giving her a kiss. I miss falling asleep on the couch with her while watching a movie late at night. I miss holding her hand while on a long drive and I miss planning vacations with her. I miss calling her on my way home from work and deciding what to do when I got home. I miss waking up next to her and kissing her neck, she could never resist that. I miss playing footsies under the blanket while falling asleep. I miss having her as part of my family and being my best friend. i miss how she could be cute and innocent in public yet be incredibly sexy in private. I miss the look in her eye when she told me she loved me. I miss the way she made me feel, like I was the strongest man in the world, I miss being the only person she needed. I miss being the person she came to any time she needed help. I miss being able to be myself with her. Most of all I just miss being able to talk to her, about everything and about nothing. I too am in love with the old her, my idealized version of her. I don't know if I'd even recognize the person she is now.....I'm crying writing this....my first time crying in a while honestly.

 

I wish she could somehow see this

 

 

I cried along with you reading this because you remind me so much of my ex and the way he was before he decided that I wasn't enough anymore. It gives me hope that I will find another guy who will treat me this way and mean it, and who I'll share this kind of closeness with and be completely comfortable. Because if you're there, there are others as well. You're going to make someone who deserves you very happy someday.

[mfleck91]

I cried along with you reading this because you remind me so much of my ex and the way he was before he decided that I wasn't enough anymore. It gives me hope that I will find another guy who will treat me this way and mean it, and who I'll share this kind of closeness with and be completely comfortable. Because if you're there, there are others as well. You're going to make someone who deserves you very happy someday.

Thank you for that. It's also nice to hear that there are other women who would want a relationship like that.

[mfleck91]

This is a message I wrote a month after the BU that I never sent. I think this is a good place for me to leave it.

 

After reading your message I have decided that there is no point to us meeting. No good would come from it except for maybe a final goodbye. As much as I want that, as much as I want to hug you once more, I don’t think I could even look you in the eyes. It would only cause more pain. I'll say everything I have to say here and respond to parts of your message I disagree with. You are correct that I have taken you for granted, I admitted that before. There were times and situations that I could have been better. However, it was not as extreme as you say and it was definitely not basis for ending the relationship. I never intentionally tried to hurt you, make you feel ugly, or stupid. I may have said things that you construed to be insulting which I would usually later apologize for and explain that I meant no harm. I believe that because of your naturally low self-confidence you took everything personally and to heart, even if it had nothing to do with you. You allowed yourself to be hurt. I told you I thought you were beautiful, that I loved you. Why would I complain about lack of intimacy all the time if I wasn't attracted to you? Which by the way you lied to Greg about. He said you told him it was me who didn't want sex, that you came on to me and I refused you. That happened ONCE, you were completely drunk and I didn't want our first time to be like that. I always told you I wanted more intimacy and you responded that bringing it up only made you less in the mood, I couldn't win. I talked to my dad 6 months ago about your drop in intimacy because I was concerned so you and I both know you lied to Greg. If I didn’t love you I would have left a long time ago.

 

Anyways, even if I did manage to be the 100% supportive guy you imagined it still wouldn't have worked out. You have impossible demands and standards; nothing I ever said or did was good enough for you. You pretty much want the perfect Disney relationship which doesn't exist. I couldn't do it, and this new guy won't do it either. You have unrealistic expectations. A relationship is about give and take, all you did was take, and you rarely gave. The only thing you gave was gifts which are only material gain. You never did anything for me. You didn't clean the apartment, you wouldn't try new things with me like shooting, and you were rarely intimate. I gave everything I could to you. I supported you with your family troubles, I helped you with things whenever I could, and I planned my life around you. It was always about you, everything you said and did was centered around you. If things didn’t go your way then you would just leave the situation. There were several issues like this but I didn't dwell on them because I loved you and I believed you meant well. That's what you do when you love somebody; you let stuff like that go. I believe that you had so many problems with yourself and your family that you released all of our stress out on me. You looked to me to get the love that you weren't receiving from your father. I tried to give the love of two people but I couldn't so you let it tear us apart. So when we got back together, you made me believe that it was something I could fix, that if I were better then we would work. So I tried; I was perfect, I took care of you while you were sick, said all the right words, and showed my love for you. Even you said I did great, but like always, it wasn't enough. So I was heartbroken again, but that wasn't the end of it. You told me that you still cared about me and that it would be a while before you found someone else. Well you lied, on both counts. So you broke my heart, lied to me, and stabbed me in the back. You kicked me while I was down. That was when I got angry. You talked to him about me, a guy who knows nothing about except what you told him. How dare you. Not only that, but you almost joked with him about it. I saw those 4 words, "I think Maxx knows" and I lost it. You even joked about me shooting him, which saying I'm a good shot was the first compliment you gave me in ages. It seemed like you just saw it as a game, and I was just a child you were hiding a secret from.

 

Well you were right, I did know, yet you continued to lie about it. And what was your response when you thought I knew? You stayed the night with him, how the hell does that make sense? "I think Maxx knows about the other guy, I guess I'll go sleep at his apartment every night to make it better." Are you seriously that delusional? To me this is an extreme lack of respect towards me, and this was before I ever said anything mean so you can’t use that as an excuse. In fact, looking back, you never really had any respect or confidence in me. Instead of facing me like an adult you ran away, but I shouldn't be surprised, you've always run from conflict, you get it from your father. You ran from it when you were on the dressage team and you couldn't handle the coach calling you a bitch. You do it with your family all the time, and you did it to me. Running solves nothing; I thought you would have learned it by now. You say you haven't talked to me because I said hurtful things. This is just an immature excuse. There is nothing I could say to you that hurts more than what you’ve done to me. Am I so easily replaced? Are you able to move on to someone else that easily? What is that supposed to say about me, did I mean that little to you? Of course I said mean things, who wouldn't have in my position? You royally screwed me over, yet I was still willing to speak to you. If everyone stopped talking just because someone hurt their feelings then the world would be in chaos. You are using that excuse as a shield to hide behind because you know that if you did face me that you wouldn't be able to handle it. You are horrible at receiving criticism and aren't used to people calling you out on your ****, so when someone does it, you leave. It happened with your old coach, with your father, and now with me. You did it to Greg when he met you last week as well. Which by the way he asked my permission to see you. I could have easily said you didn’t deserve to see him but instead I told him to go and even dropped him off. You need to learn to own up to your shortcomings and deal with conflict like an adult, God knows I’m aware of my faults. Until you do every relationship you have will eventually fall apart. Relationships are about communication which you are horrible at.

 

As for as me spreading rumors about you cheating, I haven't spread anything. I never mentioned you or cheating on Facebook, simply that there was conflict. You were however in my and many others opinion, unfaithful. You got back together with me knowing this guy was out there. You have known him for a while, you knew you liked him, and you built a relationship with him. Just because you physically didn't do anything doesn't mean you weren't unfaithful. If you don't consider that an issue then your line of morality is severely warped. As for friends sending you messages, I know nothing of it. I have not told a single person to contact you. All I can say is that you brought it upon yourself. When you stabbed me in the back it resonated throughout my family and friends. You betrayed many people who cared about you and considered you a part of the family, my family. You probably haven't told your dad or many other people about this new guy and you may never do it at all. This fact tells me that you feel some sort of shame about it and you know that it is wrong. Also, you cancelled your trip to see Greg when I confronted you, another sign of guilt. Yes, I did bring up your mother, but I didn’t insult her, I insulted you, just as if my parents were gone and I did what you did, they would be ashamed of me too. You need to get off your high horse telling me to find my own friends, I have them. I have been with more people in the last month than I have in the last 2 years. Stop thinking you’re better than me and stop giving fake pity for thinking I’m lonely.

 

Even with all this said I still find that I love you and care about you deeply. I often catch myself expecting you to walk through the door and everything would be how it used to be. I wanted to graduate with you, hold you in my arms and say “we did it”. I was going to propose to you this summer. I expected that we would go to Disney for your birthday and I planned to do it there, just like you always told me you wanted. Now I have to go on knowing that it will never happen. No more trips to Disney, no more going to the zoo, no more cruises, no more vacations, no more dinners, no more movies, no more sitting on the couch watching TV, no more waking up next to you, and no more kisses. I’m still having trouble accepting all of it, but I have to. I wanted to do everything with you. The one thing that I’ll miss the most is sharing life with you, it was my deepest desire. I wanted to share life, get married, have a family, and share every experience with that family. That will be the hardest desire for me to give up. Part of me still wishes I could go back in time 2 years, do everything right and make sure this never happened, but in my heart I know that it probably wouldn’t make a difference in the scheme of things.

 

I wrote this only hours before I found out about the other guy:

 

Minutes feel like hours, hours like days, and days like weeks. I'm trapped in a place that once filled me with happiness. All that remains is a prison filled with memories that mock me from their picture frames. It's like the death of a loved one, except I know she is still out there, I just can't have her. I sit there and wonder, there must be a certain combination of words that could change her mind; a certain number of apologies that would make it all better. My childish hope is foolhardy, yet it's the only positive thought I can conjure. Sleep is the only peace that I have, for in sleep I cannot hurt, instead I dream of what once was. But then the cold chill of morning wakes me, and I remember that it's all over, and I die a little more each day. I see her everywhere and in everything, it's like a ghost that follows and taunts me, but she's always just out of reach. What I wouldn't give to feel the warmth of her touch again, to hear her whisper in my ear, "I love you". I miss the smell of her hair and the taste of her kiss. i yearn to feel her in my arms again. I cannot laugh or smile, I'm not sure if I even want to. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about death, would she care if I were to disappear? I'm afraid the answer is no. I can't let go of her, I don't want to let go. I only hope that one day our paths cross again and she can be mine once more. I would do everything right, and cherish every moment as if it was our last. If only I had paid attention sooner, maybe I could have done something to prevent this. She told me she doesn't love me anymore.......it's as if a piece of me was ripped away with jagged edges and replaced with a cancerous growth that seeks to engulf my body and soul. I cannot stop this feeling. She will ways have my heart whether she realizes it or not. All I can do is hope, and drown away the pain with tears....

 

This is proof that I never intended to be mean; it was only when I found out about the other guy that I became angry, you broke my trust. You can never say that I didn’t care about you or love you, because I did, more than you will ever comprehend.

 

I don’t want you to respond to this or contact me at all unless you genuinely think it is important or has to do with moving the rest of your stuff out of the apartment. No good will come from us meeting. Maybe in several months or even years we might cross paths and we can talk then when this is all behind us. Part of me still prays for a miracle that ends with us being together in the future, but in reality it will never happen. I do have to sincerely thank you though. With you I experienced things I wouldn’t have otherwise. You gave me years worth of happy memories that I’ll be able to look back on one day and smile. You were my motivation for everything I ever did and you helped get me to where I am today. I miss you dearly and will for a very long time. I wish you the best of luck in life and hope you find happiness, even if it isn’t with me. You will always be my first true love.

[maturityassets]

I left early from hanging out with friends because I miss my ex. I just miss the thought of being out with my friends but my mind at ease because I once had in my mind the most beautiful girl in the world. Her hot whiskey eyes, her perfect smile, her laugh, the simple text of her saying "Night <3". Wish I could just pick her up from work so we could go on one of our random adventures as we talk about our lives

[carteblanche]

Damn, this thread is like a torture chamber.

[missunshine]

Damn, this thread is like a torture chamber.

oh don't say that... no matter how much we don't want to admit, this is still the way we feel... and why not say it i.e write it?

[SimonSerenade]

oh don't say that... no matter how much we don't want to admit, this is still the way we feel... and why not say it i.e write it?

 

She's got a point, a real human being doesnt hide how they feel and feels no shame for feeling that way, just like bad gas, better out than in.

[Woggle]

My best friend who died in 2002.

[carteblanche]

Sure. It's been 6 months no contact with my ex, and I still find myself missing her (well, more like memories of her). But I think there's a difference between recognizing/expressing one's feelings and providing a forum in which dumpees can masochistically dwell on those feelings, which is what this thread will inevitably become.

 

Dumpees should not idealize the people who hurt them so severely.

 

She's got a point, a real human being doesnt hide how they feel and feels no shame for feeling that way, just like bad gas, better out than in.

[marqueemoon4]

I miss having my son in my life every day.

[insomniax]

I miss the happy me, i am slowly getting it back tho.

[missunshine]

Sure. It's been 6 months no contact with my ex, and I still find myself missing her (well, more like memories of her). But I think there's a difference between recognizing/expressing one's feelings and providing a forum in which dumpees can masochistically dwell on those feelings, which is what this thread will inevitably become.

 

Dumpees should not idealize the people who hurt them so severely.

well I guess it didn't really turn out to be such tread afterall carteblanche