Bonesz Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Ok So my gf has always dreamed about doing something called drum corps. Drum corps is like a professional marching band, except there's no woodwinds and they tour around the nation and compete with other drum corps for the entire summer. Drum corps have an age limit. Once you turn 22, you're no longer eligible to participate, so therefor, this is her last year. As it gets closer and closer for her to leave, she's having more and more 2nd thoughts. She's telling me that she's not sure if she wants to do it anymore and she's going to get homesick and all these things. Now I've been in the activity for a long time and I know that this kind of thinking is perfectly normal. Drum Corps is NOT easy by any means and for a while you'll be there hating life and wondering why you ever wanted it in the first place. The thing is, the rewards come later. So if you can push through all that hardship, then it'll be worth it in the end. I know, especially since this is her last eligible year, that if she doesn't go, she'll regret it a ton. She's been working so hard for it for all these years and now that it's here, she's getting scared and having 2nd thoughts. So therefor, I'm really really pushing her to do it and it's kind of backfiring on me. She's taking it as if I think she's weak or stupid for backing out. I honestly haven't said anything to suggest that, but I HAVE been pushing her very hard to just give it a try. It got so bad the other day, that she threatened to break up with me. She hasn't straight up told me that she DOESN'T want it, so therefor I'm trying to push her in the right direction. Now I know that in the end it's her decision and I completely respect that, but at the same time I know that no satisfaction comes from working so hard for a dream and then giving up on it when it's so close. I've told her several times that the decision is up to her, but I'm just trying to help her make the one she won't regret in the future. Her plane leaves tomorrow and she still hasn't made up her mind. I don't know what to do without pressuring her to the point of breaking. But at the same time, it's so hard watching her give up on it when I know it's going to hurt her later. What should I do? And if she chooses not to go, what's the best way to support her when the inevitable heartbreak settles in?
Treasa Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Don't push her in either direction. She may end up blaming or projecting disappointment onto you. Just tell her to do what she feels is right, and you're good either way.
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