tiffanyfebtwo Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 when: its been a 9 month after our break up ( he dumped me after 3yrs rltinshp), during this time: we mess around a lot during this time, we slept many many times , he was seeing some other people and I was seeing some one else too, for me he is still the one , he told me that he loves me too but he is not in love with me and he is scared. my decision: we bumped into each other a lot( we have many common friends and do lots of common activities), still no regret about break up but wants me around as a friend. which I did not accept it. so I want to stop contacting him, not going any places that he might show up too and basically disappear from him life. what you think: do you think this would work to give him this chance what he wants from his life and relationship, I think becasue I was around he did not miss me at all. do you think its too late and there is no hope to have him back.
oberon84 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I think he's keeping you hanging on as his plan B. Removing yourself from him life will give you the space to start healing from what has happened. Three years is a long time, especially if you loved him. Meeting up and fooling doesn't really help you confront the emotions that unfortunately come with being dumped. It will make him think that you're fine with what happened and that you're there for him when we wants it. I hope it works out well for you 2
Author tiffanyfebtwo Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Thanx for ur mssg , it helps and gives me confidence
KPChick000 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Yes, stop contacting him, stop going to the same places, and stop fooling around with him. Take care of your own healing. Don't worry about how this decision will affect him or you+him because right now, there isn't a you+him. You're going to do this solely to help you to get over him. Good luck and stay strong
oberon84 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Thanx for ur mssg , it helps and gives me confidence No worries My relationship ended 8 months ago and I've not seen her since. A couple of texts and calls but nothing really. It's easier being in different cities though. Putting them at a distance emotionally and not reaching out to see how they are, or out of curiosity can be hard to begin with. Something that dawned on me very early on in my breakup was that I wasn't going to get any answers to the questions I had about what had happened. I also knew that if I wanted closure I would have to find it in myself and not from her. I would suggest you find your own closure on the relationship. If you search for it from him, you will get more of the same confused feelings and go round in circles.
Author tiffanyfebtwo Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 @oberon84 I wish I was living in different cities too. Im gonna avoid seeing/contacting him anyways but my friends think I just need to ignore him even when we are in same places, we have many common friends, I could not go to many parties in past or coming up just bc of him. but he is everywhere as if nothing has happened. I was trying to be cool about everything, but I can not continue this way, it is really hard and disappointing. in our small community , when I see his pictures hanging out with other girls in parties or doing diff activities makes me so heartbroken .. I think the only way is just being out of his sight and take time to heal. the funny part is that , althugh I know he is seeing other girls I still love him, no matter with me or without me. its just I miss him so bad and I can not express my love or do stuff for him anymore.
oberon84 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 Sounds like a pretty tough situation. This post is a good one. It gets recommended a lot on this forum. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/366654-caliguy-no-contact-guide-updated#post4510329
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