hayewils Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Want to get this off my chest, maybe it will make me feel better. Im feeling really down. I feel that i have taken a fall back to a month ago atleast. Ive been depressed the last two day, uncontrollable crying, trying to understand how someone you loved so so deeply could do this to you. How does someone just decide to leave, cut all communication, except email that she wont respond to. I want to reach out to her so so bad but i know i cant and it wont do any good anyway. I have to be strong and stay with the no contact. I feel useless, hopless and lost. I feel my future is just as dark and bleak. God please help me!
worldgonewrong Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hang in there, buddy! Your future is NOT dark & bleak. You can make it what you want; your life is in your hands, it's not in her hands.
Author hayewils Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 And to make things worse, our anniversary is Thursday
GuyInLimbo Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Wils, have you been to a therapist yet? You're very depressed and really need some professional help. You can, and will, get through this. But you're in tremendous pain.
worldgonewrong Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 And to make things worse, our anniversary is Thursday June 6, in time, will become just another day. I swear it. Yes, I remember when our anniversary hit during the 1st year of the separation. I was crushed. You know what I did? Pawned my wedding ring. Felt a bit better.
Author hayewils Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 My first wedding ring from first marriage got tossed into an open field.
WreckedDan Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hayewils, Dude, you and I seem to be going through the same stuff at nearly the same time... breaking down again too... haven'tcried for quite a while amd now II'm in tears again. Wife's birthday is next Friday.. she hasn't communicated anything to me about plans involving our daughter to me or anything. She leaves me in limbo so much I'm just left wondering all the time. Hope we get through this, Dan
Shocked Suzie Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Think this is normal, I too have days like this... Try to look at it as a part of the process. If possible after a few days pull into your mind some positives from when you've felt ok or things you aim to do and try to claw your way back out if the hole... It's crap when your down only you can pull yourself out of it... Allow it, but try not to allow for too long All the best 1
Author hayewils Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I just have my days.. Ya know? Im feeling just fine now.. Coming off weekends are generally my worst times, but getting better. right now i feel good, for the most part. My boys just came in the house, without them, I would probably be in a worse condition. Having no adults around is tough though. I do feel my days are becoming easier to deal with. I dont know what happened to me the last two days. One, coming off a weekend, today, I sat in the truck most of the day just thinking. Im in the oilfield so you have your days where your waiting.. Hurry up and wait, thats how it is. I will be happy to have more time between every thing. I pray for all of us who are experiencing the pain of love lost. I have no doubt however, that all this pain we go thru, all this confusion and tradgedy, we will all be better, stronger individuals. 2
Shocked Suzie Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I just have my days.. Ya know? Im feeling just fine now.. Coming off weekends are generally my worst times, but getting better. right now i feel good, for the most part. My boys just came in the house, without them, I would probably be in a worse condition. Having no adults around is tough though. I do feel my days are becoming easier to deal with. I dont know what happened to me the last two days. One, coming off a weekend, today, I sat in the truck most of the day just thinking. Im in the oilfield so you have your days where your waiting.. Hurry up and wait, thats how it is. I will be happy to have more time between every thing. I pray for all of us who are experiencing the pain of love lost. I have no doubt however, that all this pain we go thru, all this confusion and tradgedy, we will all be better, stronger individuals. only too well they set you back and leave you confused! once we find a clearer path it will get better...its just gonna take some time especially if there is a whole heap of crap to clear up after..tends to string things out a lot more
Author hayewils Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 I did read some stuff today about unconditional love. It is something that I have also thought about. It is to love those and overlooking shortcomings in your spouse. If you dont, it causes a lack of love which only causes the other person to act in an even less desirable manner than ever before. Called the cycle of resentment and anger. when we love our spouses reggardless of how we feel or even when they do not measure up to our expectations, they feel more motivated to make the changes that they should make. Not only that, but even if they do not necessarily become the man or woman of our dreams, unconditional love will often cause them to act in a much more appropriate manner.. from this, I felt validation in the way I felt with my wife around. Always felt I was at arms length. I couldnt do any thing right, say anything right. She told me I love you three times on her own the 4 years we were married, 6 years together. I have my faults too, I do not blame her for everything but I do feel, if she couldve told me, I love you, showed it, talked to me as her husband instead of Human resources telling an employee, these are the expectations, and if you dont meet them your fired. i wasnt made to feel that she truly loved me, never just talked to me as husband and wife.. So I found my happiness in a 12 pack. thats where I failed. But she also fed the beast. 1
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