maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hi, I just joined this site. My bf of 7 months ( we were friends for years) broke up with me on Sunday. I guess I knew it was coming...still hurts. He would call me names like, c*#t and bitch and then just say he was joking. That I'm too sensitive, a fun Nazi, etc. This went on for awhile. I would ask him to stop, but he didn't. Plus he always had to be right, lacked empathy. I guess it may have been emotional abuse. So now we're done and you'd think he was the best guy ever by how upset I am. My self esteem is shot and for some sick reason I miss him. I can't help but hope I see his number on my phone. I feel so pathetic. Even tho I know I tried my hardest, this evil part of my head still says it is my fault and if I just tried a little harder. I don't know
Giha Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Ok, first - don't blame yourself. Honestly, to me he sounds a bit of a douche. Who calls his girl a c*** and thinks it's funny even after she asked him to stop? To me he sounds like an insensitive prick. I get that you still miss him and care for him but I think in time you will see that maybe he did you a favor by ending things...and allowing you in time to find someone who would treat you properly.
Author maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Thanks We were having a fine day and went to a burger place, he made some kind of comment and I said wow that's friendly. He says, "I've had it...I think this is our last day together." This wasn't the first time he's said it either. I went to the lady's room and cried. We drove back in silence and then he says, "So what do you want to do?" I said, " I guess there's nothing to do. You said that's it." We got back to his house, I said nothing, just left. 5 min later, he sends a text that said- I think you're a great girl, sorry I don't make you happy. I wish you the best. I didn't reply Do you think he wrote that so he didn't come off as the bad guy ?
Giha Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Probably. Just keep in mind his bad behavior if he contacts you again...he really isn't worth it. Stay NC...it's for the best. You should be with someone who respects you and makes effort to make you happy, not someone like him.
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hi OP, welcome to LS. Is this the first emotionally abusive relationship you have ever had?
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hi, yes I think so What kinds of men have you dated before?
Author maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Hmm...some were losers, but they didn't do the name calling even jokingly like he supposedly said it was. The ex before this one, we just drifted apart, nothing nasty about it. I'm friendly with another ex from years ago. I have had a bf in the past cheat on me (which I found out later after we broke up).
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hmm...some were losers, but they didn't do the name calling even jokingly like he supposedly said it was. The ex before this one, we just drifted apart, nothing nasty about it. I'm friendly with another ex from years ago. I have had a bf in the past cheat on me (which I found out later after we broke up). Ok so they were 'normal', that's reassuring. I think you feel the way you do is because you are still needing his approval. He has clearly withdrawn that from you.
Author maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 So you think it was def emotional abuse?
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 So you think it was def emotional abuse? I don't like throwing those words around easily but I'd say it sounds like it wasn't a healthy relationship.
Author maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Makes me feel pathetic that when I look at my phone, I wish I saw his number. I guess in time that will fade away.
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Makes me feel pathetic that when I look at my phone, I wish I saw his number. I guess in time that will fade away. Of course, sooner than you think. It's about seeking approval....
Author maggie747 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Thanks, I hope so. You'd think this was my first break up with all my crying.
Emilia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Thanks, I hope so. You'd think this was my first break up with all my crying. It's completely normal sweetie. Sometimes people affect us in a way that others don't. He obviously managed to get to you in a really bad way and hurt you a lot. It will get better soon. He was very bad for you.
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