AZA Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 It's been 10 months, we've hooked up. She told me she liked me. We spend lots of good time together. We have 6 years of complicated history and for us to enter a real relationship would require I prove myself to show I've changed from stirring up drama, which I have. I've made some mistakes in these 10 months because I'm in love and need more from her. She isn't ready and that unsatisfied need caused a lot of anxiety when drinking. We don't hold hands anymore, we don't kiss anymore. But i.. i don't really know what to think anymore. I have to be patient and exercise self-control. I asked her out this morning and she said just shook her head 'no'. I told her it's been 10 months and I've been in 'this place', and it gets lonely sometimes because she's not there with me. So I wonder sometimes and I want to ask just to see. She said it made sense. I just have to keep waiting. But the both of us just got full time jobs and now I'm rarely going to see her. I feel myself crumbling from the pressure to perform at work and I haven't even started. Two friends and myself are starting a business. There is SO much going on in my life... way too much to have a love interest mess it up. But I don't care about anything in my life without that love interest. She's all I can think about. And I honestly get angry that we're not together. I do a lot for her and feel like I deserve her. She even says I do but she's not ready. But I want to know if she even ****ing cares about me anymore more than a friend. I'm in a place that means a lot to me. It's taken all my energy. It's broken me and the turmoil meets new levels of unbearable each day. But I want to be here if it's the only way I can have a chance to be with her. I will wait for however long it takes. But for right now, I don't know if it's worth it. I don't know if she likes me anymore. I can't ask her, it would be needy, it would bug her. I already asked her out just now before she started her new job and I'll meet her for a class after one of my interviews today. I kind of want to ask her if she cares, or if there's a chance. But I know she'll just say she doesn't know and that she's playing it by ear. She won't want to talk about it, and it would be selfish of me to make it about me. And if I keep bringing it up, it will just push her away. If there are any chances, talking about it lessens them. o_O
clia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I feel like I walked into a movie that started an hour ago. But, from what I can piece together, this girl is not interested in you. You don't have to keep waiting for her. In fact, that would be stupid. You are wasting time. You keep asking her out and she keeps saying no. It's not going to change. Move on and find a girl who will say "yes" when you ask her out.
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