the_entertainer1 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 So I've been seeing this guy since mid-Feb, after we met through a dating site. We went on a number of dates before he went overseas for five weeks, on a holiday he'd been planning for a while. When he returned, we picked up where we left off, and continued dating. Since Feb, we've been on about 10 dates. It was only on our last date, this past Friday, when we kissed for the first time. It was only the second time I'd kissed someone, and I have a sneaking suspicion it might have been his first kiss? I'm 24; he's 25. Neither of us has been in a relationship before. When I went to his place, he later admitted that he was nervous because he'd never 'had a girl over'. I quite like him, am not head over heels, but wanting to give a relationship a go. The thing is, I'm not really sure what happens next in terms of progressing the relationship. When we kissed, he asked if it was ok to give me a goodnight kiss - after 10 dates. (I'm rather patient, lol). I'm happy to take things slowly and do not want to rush into sex (in fact, I'm certain that I want to be in a loving and committed relationship before I 'do the deed'). But, do we talk about where the relationship is going? How do we act around each other now? Like, we haven't even held hands (lol). I feel a bit stupid asking this, but I just don't really know how to be in a relationship. How do we build it up so we're more like bf/gf than just good friends? When does the next kiss happen?
Author the_entertainer1 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Aww, c'mon. Out of the 92 views this has had so far, not one person has any ideas to help me out? Please guys, don't make me beg!
TheGuard13 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Do you talk often? Has there been another date scheduled yet?
clia Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 There is no formula. Every couple is different, and the two of you have to figure out what is going to work for you. Since you are both so inexperienced, you are moving way slower than most people. Ten dates before a first kiss is...practically unheard of. But, that's okay if it's okay with the two of you. But, do we talk about where the relationship is going? At some point, yes. You are in a really gray zone since the physical side has lagged so far behind the social side. "Normally" the relationship talks start happening within one to three months. (But again, some people have them on Date 1 -- it really depends on the people involved.) How do we act around each other now? Like, we haven't even held hands (lol). You should act like two people who are dating who really like each other. How do we build it up so we're more like bf/gf than just good friends? Ten dates for a first kiss is a really long time. Relationships get more developed and stronger over time. Do you feel more like friends with him than bf/gf? Are you attracted to him? You two really need to up the physical side to bring it in line. Maybe start touching his arm or leg, having more bodily contact with him when you are out, hold his hand, etc. When does the next kiss happen? The next time you see him!
Author the_entertainer1 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Posted June 5, 2013 Do you talk often? Has there been another date scheduled yet? We text almost every day, talk on the phone about once a week, and see each other once a week. I don't necessarily want to have sex with him right away, but I want to build some more intimacy & closeness between us. Things still feel kind of "formal"; I'm worried that next time we see each other, the next kiss won't come naturally. I'm a bit shy to initiate it and he's probably not exactly going to ask to give me a good night kiss again ... Suggestions?
TheGuard13 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 If he asked if he could give you a good night kiss, it means he wanted to kiss you in the first place. I would see if you can engineer an intimate situation, IE, the two of you alone, watching a movie or something. Make lots of eye contact, smile a lot, etc, and just make him comfortable. He'll probably do the rest. Wait and see if he initiates again. Odds are he will, since he already did once. 1
Author the_entertainer1 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 Thanks for the tip. I liked your idea about 'engineering' an intimate situation like watching a movie or something. The only thing is, we live 50 minutes away from each other. He lives by himself, but has not invited me over yet. (When I went to his place, I invited myself over). I still live at home with my parents and two brothers so my place isn't the best when it comes to privacy and alone time. Lol. Any other ideas about finding more private or intimate situations in public places? (No, not the bathroom or car, please! )
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