niko1999 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 I think it is finally over. It hurts so much right now I feel absolutley numb. I want to cry, but I cant. The tears wont come. I want to sleep right now, but I cant, too much is going on inside my head right now, it wont stop. I found a personal reply that he just wrote a month ago, a very explicit profile, updated, and stating that he was single. Well, if he wants to be single, he can be. I feel as if I have wasted two years of my life. I am so numb I cant think straight. Im sleeping on the couch tonight. And the couch is so uncomfortable, especially compared to that nice big bed. I dont know what to think right now. Im called my freind max, and asked him to go apartment shopping with me on Tuesday. Maybe it wouldnt be so hard if we didnt live together, if this hasnt been my LIFE for over two years now. I feel so betrayed, so ripped to pieces. And its not that it was terribly sudden, not one of those "I didnt see it coming" but more of one of those, "I thought things would turn out differently" A while ago, I was told he didnt feel forever righ tnow. Tonight I was told Im not wife material. But he has thought about marrying me. Well, He can go FU"K himself! I dont know what to do! What am I supposed to do with myself right now? SHould I stay in the area, should I move back down south? SHould I get an apartment close by? Should I just say fu"k him, move out as soon as I can? WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I havent been in this situation in five years! And if I ever got a second chance with him, would I ever want it? Do I really want to spend the rest of my life with him? I thought I did. I turned my clatter ring the other way tonight, facing out instead of in. I should be enjoying the single life, not dwelling around. LIsten to me, its only been a few hours. No one expects to heal overnight. Except maybe him.. I wanna cry, but I cant. I wanna scream, but I wont. Help me guys, please? Help me get through waht is undoubtedly going to be the hardest stage of my life.
UCFKevin Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Scream. Buy something punchable and punch the s*** out of it. You'll get past it. No one ever dies of a broken heart, nor does anyone ever live in complete misery for the rest of their lives because of a relationship going bad. Life goes on. And it will.
Merin Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 I'm so sorry you're in so much pain right now.. Just from an outsider looking in.. You really need to get out of there. Don't "Think" it's finally over.. DECIDE it's finally over. Not because HE says it is, but because YOU say it is. From what you've said this has not been a good relationship for a long time.. there comes a time when you cannot stay in a relationship any longer and allow someone to treat you badly with the idea that one day things might change.. you deserve better than that.. everyone does. So he just isn't feeling forever uh? Well sweetheart.. pack up your belongings, relocate where you've got support, find your self esteem and dignity, cut off all contact with him.. and see IF he's feeling that kind of "Forever" Keep your head up;)
daphne02071 Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Cry your eyes out, scream, smash things, do whatever you feel like doing but what you really MUST do is RUN as far away as possible. I have wasted 6.5 years of my life and ended up with a big, fat, nothing, broken into thousands pieces, whereas he is enjoying a new life with a new gf. I made the fatal mistake, while I was still in the relationship, of renting an apartment in the same neighboourhood with him so we could be closed to each other. Little did I know then... It's been 8 months since he dumped me due to "a lack of chemistry" as he put it, still living basically 50 meters away from him and because of that I have to be faced almost every day with the ugly reality of seeing him going out every night, having his new gf come over, sometimes spending the night with him and needless to say, my healing process is slim. I have been desparately looking for another apartment but everything I have found so far is either way off my budget or in a ****ty situation. SO PLEASE, get out of there the soonest possible as I don't wish anybody, even my worst enemy, to go through the absolute hell I have been in for so many months. Don't call him, don't contact him in any way, don't cry and don't beg him - all these won't get you anywhere - in fact they will only make you feel humiliated and pathetic and will distant him even more. Just pack up and leave. If he ever realises the damage he has caused he will find a way to contact you. In the meantime, you have no choice but look after yourself the best way possible. Hugs Daphne
Author niko1999 Posted October 8, 2004 Author Posted October 8, 2004 Thanks guys. Today is looking a little better. But another day, perhaps some healing. Ill keep everyone posted and let you know what is going on. I still feel numb, but Im having a freind up tomorow night, and I am going to go a way saturday night I think, and MOnday night too. Thanks guys
Author niko1999 Posted October 10, 2004 Author Posted October 10, 2004 Got the required Oprah reading list tonight..... He's just not htat into you. I got the LAST copy! I have to say, I am looking forward to reading it. Im not going to let it sway myself necessarily, but I am looking forward to reading it. Let you guys know how it turns out...
Merin Posted October 10, 2004 Posted October 10, 2004 Originally posted by niko1999 Got the required Oprah reading list tonight..... He's just not htat into you. I got the LAST copy! I have to say, I am looking forward to reading it. Im not going to let it sway myself necessarily, but I am looking forward to reading it. Let you guys know how it turns out... I read it. It's funny.. and interesting. Found myself doing this a lot when I read it >> LOL Sometimes this >> Hope you enjoy it, gain some perspective and feel better.
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