bluegreen Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 OK we are all either and hurting confused and hurting or struggling with NC and hurting BUT : What's one or any good things that happened to us in mean time anyone ? I passed exam an important one got grade that floored me purely by more luck and few clever ideas then studding. Your turn Now 1
LostOne1 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Met new people.. became more confident, gained more self respect, became more social. I got more free time to dedicate to other cooler things! 3
boblet Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Learnt a ton about myself and what I need in a relationship, my days are more about me and not talking all day to someone it was so distracting I've realized. Also started taking more care of myself and working hard on myself so that no matter if I'm alone or not I'll be okay P.S. hey lost hope you're doing okay! 2
Giha Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Started going to the gym, got more time to spend with friends I kind of neglected while dating her (I spent most of my weekends with her), and found things I should improve in myself. I guess I can call it a learning experience. 2
LostOne1 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Learnt a ton about myself and what I need in a relationship, my days are more about me and not talking all day to someone it was so distracting I've realized. Also started taking more care of myself and working hard on myself so that no matter if I'm alone or not I'll be okay P.S. hey lost hope you're doing okay! Hey boblet. I've been doing awesome lately actually. Like you I learned lots about myself and made many new and positive changes. Life actually has gotten a lot better since last year. It's not perfect, but it seems like it's headed in the right direction it's great to see you're doing great too Keep it up! 1
Author bluegreen Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 I liked all those responses except how do you go around meeting new people the thought of it makes me cringe actually 1
Giha Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I liked all those responses except how do you go around meeting new people the thought of it makes me cringe actually It takes time to get to that point where you feel you can meet new people. Don't rush into it, take your time and only when you feel comfortable enough then do it.
Author bluegreen Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Definitely must be some months from now anything else is just plain rebound and who needs that mess
LostOne1 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Definitely must be some months from now anything else is just plain rebound and who needs that mess For me it's been a year almost, so I'm meeting new people. However, that doesn't mean I'm looking to date. I'm looking at HANGING out with people and making new friends. If I find someone I like and who likes me... great.. but I'm just looking to get out and involved. As for finding a girl, I've met many.. but so far nothing has come out of it. It's okay thought, I'm still alive and happy 1
th90 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 1) Grew massively mentally, physically and spiritually. 2) Being single for the first time in my life (technically), never stopped dating since 14 years old and thought I'd end up with my ex whom I dated for 7 years. Turning 24 soon, as a happy single lady! 3) Found my love and passion for certain animals I didn't expect to have, which means I have new dreams to strive for 4) Learned so much about myself 5) When was the last time I got frustrated at my ex for not replying my calls and messages, for being ignorant, for neglecting me again? 6) Saw my past mistakes and learned them well 7) Know what I really want in a relationship now and I won't just settle for any man anymore, I expect some standards if I ever met one 8) Being emotionally free is one of the best things in the world, provided if we could let go of the physical attachments and attractions of the opposite sex 9) Met new people. Yup, it took a lot of courage for me to take the first step out of my house 10) Life is still as beautiful and as wonderful as it was before I met my ex PS : I'm currently having a "relapse" actually. I thought I was over my ex but I found myself thinking a hell lot about him lately, probably due to stress. But writing this again empowers me to continue striving on. The only way forward is to march through it! 2
cavalier99 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Well i would say the BU itself was a blessing in disguise. I am actually grateful she pulled the trigger and ended it. It was the begining of a journey of self actualization, groth both spiritually and mentally. I am a much stronger person now and realize that i can be ok alone but am also much better prepared for a new RS (in one now) and now know how to maintain boundaries. I guess the BU in retrosepct was one of the better things that has happened to me in my life . Plus new girlfirend is hot and loves me to death! lol ...but if it doesnt work out i now know ill survive and even thrive! Rock on! Cav 3
ConfusedT Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I think it allows you to see what you were doing wrong and at some point, hopefully change those traits within yourself! I was doing so well and I broke NC, so Im kinda back to stage 1. But I remember last time, that I felt so EMPOWERED after I got over him, like truly truly truly empowered and amazing!! 1
eachcomingnight Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I have re-discovered how to be happy on my own, in an even more meaningful way than I was happy before him... while I still have my moments, I am now actively happy, rather than just being okay most of the time. I seek out opportunities for happiness. I've started running and am hoping to sign up for a 5k race in the near future. I spend more time with my friends than I did before - and with more of them. 1
flitzanu Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 OK we are all either and hurting confused and hurting or struggling with NC and hurting BUT : What's one or any good things that happened to us in mean time anyone ? I passed exam an important one got grade that floored me purely by more luck and few clever ideas then studding. Your turn Now good things after breakups? sex with younger women.
Leigh 87 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I did not work hard enough on other aspects of my life, outside of my relationship. I had my hobbies, career goals, college and friends and my love of being fit and healthy; yet I abandon ALL of these things, that were equally as important as my relationship. It felt awful. I KNEW who I was, yet I sort of lost myself to the relationship. I became lazy. I was getting so much joy from being around my ex and our dogs, that I forgot to work on all other aspects of my life. Silly me. I love so hard. I find such happiness in having a person I love around me that I lose sight of equally important things. Never again.
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