Simpleoldschool Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 SO TODAY I CANT STAY POSITIVE. i literally feel like chewing the **** out of this dumbass keyboard right now. I was looking for a picture today and wouldnt you know i havent yet deleted my ex-wifes pictures and now all my negative feelings are coming back. But she was a jerk. so i have no idea why they are. Anyways i broke it off with the new chick for anyone following. started asking for money. yes i have alot of money but hell no, you dont get it out of the blue. Reminded me of you know who. so im pissed off because i have to admit looking back at photos of her, primarily you know what kind of photos damn. My ex-wife has a body and a half. DD'S , super slim waist. the whole hour glass effect. I DONT WANT HER BACK EVER. but damn man looking at this pictures got my mind twisted. WTF do i do. i need someone to give me a speicific version of my own advice. sure i've been talking to girls blah blah blah. not like i cant get any but i feel so damn shallow because they have to look a certain way for me even to begin to be attracted. Im really just trying to find a cool chick and lately yeah ive met some uber dope chics but...not model status. WTF. what the hell do i do? i really need some leveled advice. i feel like putting my head through the wall. disgruntled because im admitting to myself that even though this new girl was a mega diva, more so then the EW , no girls so far look close to them. im starting to think models are shallow. and im thinking thats OBVIOUS!:mad::mad::mad: rawr i feel like the hulk right now and hulk no happy! i just feel like im putting way too much into wanting to be with someone. this preverbial mental state of man im bored if im not doing something. which hell i got dough i dont have to do ****. man. this deal is crucial. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FIND A NICE WOMEN AND WHERE DO YOU LOOK. going through relapse episodes also. to stay in line with TOU IX ..... cuz i have too i said that i just am pissed at the world tonight. grumble grumble.
Author Simpleoldschool Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 like seriously. hahaha man. im mixed up tonight. My mind is crunched. i feel so upset. so IM SMOKING LIKE A CHIMNEY. one cig, not good enough. two still nothing. three i HATE SMOKING! 4 whatever man. seriously can i be attracted to someone and they be nice? or have i conditioned myself to women that look, just to look just to look that way? seriously man. I NEED therapist or something. BUT I DONT LIKE THERAPISTS. they get under my skin. tried it three times HELL NO! like dude. man. i feel like im in a race. running laps and then something makes me take a detour and then i have to find my way back again. im so frustrated! I JUST WANT TO MEET A DAMN LEVEL HEADED CHIC! with a body and stufff........... seriously. i feel like a retard. like, im always rosey and happy but tonight im all BLAH BLAH BLAH. im mad at myself toooo. WHY?!?! man. im just all over the place. wicked mess. this is dumb. and theres something i want to say but ill AVOID THAT CAN OF WORMS!
Author Simpleoldschool Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 so i've talked with my pops and he says im looking in all the wrong places. well where is the right place to start looking. ADVICE pleeeeaaassse?
Author Simpleoldschool Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 and great now i feel all emotionally bruised. I CANT DELETE THE PICTURES AND I CANT GO INTO MY PHONE TO LOOK AT THEM. MY PHONE IS LIKE THE DAMN DEVIL RIGHT NOW. great now i have to argue with myself why my EX WIFE IS NOT A GOOD PASSING IDEA IN MY BRAIN!
WreckedDan Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hey SOS, take a break. Put your phone down. Go outside and smoke and walk. Stop looking, you are not ready yet. Let it find you. Just my 2© Dan Rough night here too.
Author Simpleoldschool Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) thanks dan. I just feel like crying and i have no idea why. I feel like a super hot mess. whenever my emotions make some sense im going to re-evaluate my bad choices of even entertaining negative idea's. i try not to fight against certain emotions. others i have a world war with because if i let them get through i KNOW EXACTLY what they are going to do. sometimes i just wonder why **** couldnt be chill. **** MONEY. **** CARS, **** A HOUSE. it all dont mean ****. moneys is stupid. IT GETS SPENT AND GUESS WHAT THE **** I BUY BREAKS DOWN AFTER AWHILE SO GREAT. I BOUGHT SOMETHING THAT WOULD BREAK. The only thing that means **** in this life is having a comrade. this world has no more HONOR! heres a little piece of info for people listening. When ***** blowing up around you people are dieng and your on the BATTLEFIELD every comfortable luxury in this life doesnt mean a DAMN THING! you dont think about a new pair of shoes, about money about NOTHING BUT JUST THE HOPE AND ENOUGH OF IT TO BE THE TOMMOROW YOU WANT ! you realize how important LIFE REALLY IS when anyone of those rounds or explosions could have been the cost of your life and YOU just a color painting the sand. you see gruesomeness in the real-world. AND THEN I HAVE TO COME BACK TO CIVILLIANS. people who screw people over for little BITES OF LIFE. thinking that **** MEANS SOMETHING. i am so mad that people just cant get along and that people actually USE PEOPLE. whatever happened to seeing a person as a human being worth more than a damn object! i hate people who covet things. NO BODY ACTUALLY OWNS ANYTHING OTHER THAN A SOUL AND THAT WAS PAID FOR, JUST TO HAVE IT AND PEOPLE SELL IT FOR CHEAP ****. FOR A COMMON EXPIERIENCE. FOR A DAYS WORTH OF BAD CHOICES. everyone gets put in the ground someday why cant people just make other people happy enough so that day doesnt have to feel worse than it does! I HATE FUNERALS EVERYONES A HYPOCRITE! i am just so frustrated. Edited June 4, 2013 by Simpleoldschool
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