Dante311 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 original story, or part of it... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/398443-we-re-still-together-but-she-wants-space-had-me-move-out-now-what so the long story short... she asked for space, she kicked me out... she wanted me to go to her friend's wedding so she wasn't alone. I made her go alone. The entire weekend, she missed me... the flight there.. with her friends... the flight back. She was a bit distant down there, but admitted to me last night (on her way home) that she needed the space. This morning I was a little depressed. to be honest... I get a text around 8am... "are you on facebook?" ..I go "no, why?" ...I check facebook. She changed the picture of us to just her. Ok, now I'm annoyed. I text her. "We need to talk"... I get back, "Yes, I need to see you. I want to hug you. Can I see you after work?" ...I didn't know how to respond. after awhile, I gave in. We met up. We hung out for awhile, talked... I tried to get terms on what we are. All I learned is that she was very emotional this weekend at the wedding without me there. And she missed me... and does love me. NOW MIND YOU - WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING SPACE... UGH So I ask her if we're exclusive, she definitely agrees to that, but is unsure of what we are at the moment... ...but we are exclusive. We go back to her place. Eventually we fool (sex) around for a few hours. Oops! I then leave per her request... and now I'm home. I don't know what to make oftoday other than I'm confused, I ****ed up, and now it'll take twice as long in my opinion, IF we are to get back together... b/c we're both confused. ugh help?
aisuru Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Space means no sex, but you know that. I think it's okay to say you're exclusive and still take a breather while you figure a few things out. However, I don't believe "breaks/space" should be more than say, 2 weeks. After that you might as well just call it done. Give her some space, work on you, prepare for worst case scenario while hoping for best case. Allow her time to miss you. 2
Author Dante311 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 I figure it's ending slowly... i'm just being used to fill her void. 1
Author Dante311 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 HAHA, I think I'm my own gf's rebound. WTF.
CelticGibson Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 You are becoming the safe spot until she meets someone else. It's early days but it looks like she's doing the slow check out of your relationship. One thing I realised is this: If they are unsure and in doubt about you, do not take the exclusivity as written in stone. She may just meet someone and then let you know in short order. Look at the reality. If it were me, I would give her all the space she wants by ending it. If she really wants you, she knows where to find you and to let you know.... Until that day, this relationship is done and you should keep that in mind.... 1
Author Dante311 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 ok... now that I've let her back in, and made myself more vulnerable.. and she feels comfortable enough to tug the string, what or how can I take control? can I just tell her I need space?
CelticGibson Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 You set boundaries. You tell her that you don't want wishy washyness. You want to know where you stand and if she cannot provide that then you are out of there. If she won't accept you as a full package deal, she doesn't deserve your best parts without commitment. Then be prepared to walk away and mean it.
KPChick000 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Weddings are hard. Especially if you're attending solo. It probably brought back some emotions of wanting to be with someone. It seems to me that she had a weak moment and probably needed a "fix"- to feel wanted again, for the comfort. And of course she turned to you. If what she wants is really space, then you need to cut off all contact. No texting, fb, and surely no meeting up in person. She needs to know where you stand and that you will not play this game unless she is in it 100%.
Author Dante311 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Weddings are hard. Especially if you're attending solo. It probably brought back some emotions of wanting to be with someone. It seems to me that she had a weak moment and probably needed a "fix"- to feel wanted again, for the comfort. And of course she turned to you. If what she wants is really space, then you need to cut off all contact. No texting, fb, and surely no meeting up in person. She needs to know where you stand and that you will not play this game unless she is in it 100%. THIS is the answer I wanted. This is how I've been feeling. thank you. 1
Author Dante311 Posted June 6, 2013 Author Posted June 6, 2013 THIS is the answer I wanted. This is how I've been feeling. thank you. Ok we ****ed. Last night she said hi via text. I said what's up. next thing I know, she invited me over and I went. She asked me with a sad face to stay the night... ...and I did. ****. she keeps saying she loves me. Why can't I just say no? I need my space. She needs to miss ME now.
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