Broc Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 I'm freakin 25 and I pathetically get so nervous around this girl in my grad school classes that I can't even talk to her other than greeting her and smiling and a little small talk. Sometimes I can't even make the small talk. I want to approach her and talk to her like bad, but I freeze up and can't do it despite having many perfect opportunities (i.e., when she is by herself, or when she is staring back at me as she passes right by me in the hall.) I did approach her at a party and it was a lot easier (because I had a couple brews) and she was super nice and friendly and even flirted a wee bit. We used to exchange glances all the time and she gave a lot of positive signs that she was into me, but now I stopped looking because I don't want to creep her out. Now it seems like she's avoiding me and that I make her nervous. I'm pretty sure she isn't looking at me any more either, but one day recently it seemed as though she was trying to see if she could catch me looking at her without looking directly at me. Is it normal to get this nervous? Do girls get creeped out when a guy is super nervous around them? What do I do? Do I approach her very nervously and not know what to say, jumble my words and not even look her in the eye because I'm so nervous, do I try to forget about her? It's stressing me out and I can't focus on my work. I see her everyday. She is in all of my classes.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 go bang a couple freshmen and then go try to hook up with her. join a martial art class to biuld some self worth. good luck hun
Author Broc Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 Thanks, kellydontwanttasleep, but I need more advice than that, please. I shouldn't care right? I have nothing to lose right? If she sees that I'm extremely nervous talking to her and it freaks her out then I just forget about her. That's basically what's been holding me back. I think I freaked her out the first time I talked to her in class and asked if she was going to the party. I guess I cut to the chase too quickly and asked if she was going rather than making a bunch of small talk and then casually asking like I should have done. She looked really nervous and she sort of ran off, abruptly ending the conversation. I couldn't even look her in the eye while I was talking to her. Anyway, I'm trying to pursue this girl without coming off as creepy because I get so nervous. I don't want her to see that I am so nervous. All I can do is think about this girl I don't even know and it's really screwing me up. I need serious help. It's been going on ever since school started like the first week in September.
Naive Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Look she may be hot and all, but she is a normal person just like you. She eats, sleeps, sh*ts, cries, laughs, etc just like you. Relax and be yourself.
Author Broc Posted October 7, 2004 Author Posted October 7, 2004 Does my being nervous around her make me come off as a wussy?
Naive Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 No, not a wussy. But it does make you seem insecure and that is not attractive to many. The good thing is you can work on having more confidence
netrie Posted October 7, 2004 Posted October 7, 2004 Just approach her and smile and say, " I just have to say that I think you are such a hottie." Then---walk on by... And do NOT look back. Netalia
oannamarie Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 I think netrie's advice is good. She then will know you are into her and have the opportunity to respond.
iceprincess Posted October 8, 2004 Posted October 8, 2004 Well, if you're doing really well in your classes, you should casually sit by her and ask her about the latest exam (trust me, it works if you want to talk with someone). And then if she's not doing so great, you can probably offer to STUDY sometimes but if she's doing well, then you guys can exchange ideas or comments...etc...and there you go, you've talked with her without being nervous.
Author Broc Posted October 9, 2004 Author Posted October 9, 2004 I said hi to her today and she ignored me. She looked freaked out or nervous or something when she looked at me. I don't understand. I think she thinks I'm creepy because I used to look at her so much and I get so nervous when I do talk to her, which is seldom. I don't think I should try sitting next to her until I can judge for sure whether or not I scare her. I don't want to make her that uncomfortable if I do in fact give her the creeps. I think I just have to relax, be patient, go with the flow and not chicken out the next time i have a perfect opportunity to talk with her like in between classes etc. Not many girls have had this effect on me. When a girl that I'm attracted to comes up to me and says hi i am usually able to talk while containting my nervousness. But when she did the second week of school or so, i must've turned white. I couldn't think of anything to say, my mind went blank and I couldn't look her in the eye. This girl makes me nearly physically shake. Life would be easier without testosterone sometimes. I want to talk to her so bad but it's so hard, except for the time when I had a few beers.
Author Broc Posted October 13, 2004 Author Posted October 13, 2004 ok so we're looking at each other again. today i had a good opportunity to go up to her and talk to her but i couldn't do it, i got too nervous. do i need professional help? is there something wrong with me?
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 i made a bet with my friends that if i didn't talk to her today that they would slap me in the face. so now they get to slap me in the face.
FolderWife Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 Some people are just plain intimidating. Like...my boss for instance. He can talk to you, and absolutely put you at ease, but when he's NOT putting you at ease, you trip when you walk by him, you spit when you talk to him, and you stutter every word. *sigh* The best thing to do is to not try and impress her. Stand there thinking about how impressive YOU are. That should make talking easier.
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 i started walking up to her today and was about to talk to her but i chickened out and turned away all fast and she saw me and my friend saw and started laughing so it's so obvious to her now.
surfergirl Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 You want to know what I think of when meeting someone new? Stupid - I know - but I tell myself they wipe their a$$ with tp just like I do - so that makes us equal and if they DON'T then I need to run as fast as I can. Always eases the tension for me. I usually wind up with a big smile and would you believe people are always asking me why I smile so much..... if they only knew Don't come across as cocky - girls hate that! Or at least I do - just breath - if you're breathing you're doin' ok - the rest will come. RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX RELAX
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 i think that she likes me and that should make it easier, but it doesn't. maybe i should go to class drunk, then i would have no problem talking to her.
surfergirl Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 No bad idea- and be very careful that you are not stalking her - not to say that you are but she may feel strange if you are constantly looking at her and following her around. Either talk to her or give her some space and approach her later... when you are more comfortable. Don't scare her away before you get to know her.
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 sh*t! today i wanted to talk to her so bad that i kinda followed her but tried to make it look like i was just going to the atm i have never followed her before and for about a week or so i tried not to look at her for the exact reason you just mentioned. i looked at her today as i entered the classroom and smiled but she looked away before she saw me smile. i'm trying to convey that i am friendly and interested not a stalker who is interested in stalking.
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 she is from germany. she picks her nose all the time in class with her thumb. i could start a conversation by letting her know that we don't do that in this country haha.
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 i feel like it would be much easier to approach her when she is alone but she is always with other people. people i kind of know and some i don't. they would see how nervous i am and that is not something that i want.
surfergirl Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 ewwwhhh gross Please tell me you are kidding - right? Say yes!!!
Author Broc Posted October 14, 2004 Author Posted October 14, 2004 good looking girls can't really gross me out.
surfergirl Posted October 14, 2004 Posted October 14, 2004 That should be done in private....I can't stand to see someone else's boogies..... Hot or not that's just gross......it's got to be a fetish with you - the boogie thing! She doesn't flick them does she? What does she do with them after she picks them in class? That is so strange to me.......ewwwwhhhh my skin is curling
Recommended Posts