AeroMech Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone, new here but figured I would poll the audience on my current dilemma as I haven't quite experienced something like this before. Background: 25, finishing college, meet a girl who is also my age. She checks off a list of things I look for in a future girlfriend, I am not looking for FWB or anything of that nature at this time. And so we begin dating. I ask her out, she happily accepts. We have 3-4 dates together and things are progressing nicely over a month or so period. We go out once a week usually during the week as she and I both have hectic schedules. I play soccer and hockey at the college (games on weekends) while also working for the national guard and school. She is a nurse full time and keeps busy. I kept it light the first few dates and finally the last date we had a nice little make out session, (so I feel it has been progressing forward). We ended the night, and made plans to see each other again. This all happened roughly a month ago now as we've been texting trying to set up another date. However she was in Vegas one week on vacation with her girlfriends (something she planned months prior) and the following I had Army training. Well finally this past week our schedules line up,. I text asking her how Memorial weekend was and she replies, we set up for the usual Thursday but she has book club going on, but asks me if I am free this weekend (if she was unavailable to make the date, she has always counter offered another time and date). I reply saying the weekend is actually free for once and that Saturday would be good for me. This was all last Monday, I text her Wednesday a funny little meme saying happy hump day (just to check in with her and confirm plans for this weekend). I hear nothing back... so just as a final precaution Thursday I decide to call as maybe she lost her phone or whatever, I never called her prior but felt this warranted it. Nada, so just left a casual voice mail, "this is so and so, hope your week is going well, just checking in with you to see how your Saturday is looking for our date, give me a call or text back when you get a chance." Friday comes, nothing, Saturday etc. So it's now Monday again and I haven't heard back from her, and normally I would write this off and just go about my business. However all the signs I've had tell me things were going great. Umm just some more details, I don't text often, we maybe text once every couple days, and 95% of the time I did, it was to set up a time/date for our next date. So there wasn't much communication between dates, but there was at least weekly communication. Everytime I texted prior to this weekend, I received a reply with enthusiasm (multiple !!! and yes sounds like a plan! smiley responses). So it wasn't the short or losing interest texts that maybe you would expect if someone was losing interest. I can only think of a couple different responses to what might have happened, and even then, it might be something completely out of my control or anything to do with what I did, but being the over analyzing individual I am, I'm curious . 1) She might have a change of heart 2) Met someone else or 3) Didn't feel I was being serious enough, i.e. lack of communication <-- I'm throwing this out there but I feel that is a stretch... usually it's the opposite being too needy that makes people lose interest. I would love to hear the feedback from the community (especially girls) or questions if you need more info... I'm just stumped on this one. Any thoughts on where to go from here on trying to communicate with her as well. I was thinking of just shooting her another text asking what is up between us. Thanks for those that read all of it Edited June 4, 2013 by AeroMech
Carenth Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) That seems a bit strange tbh.. only things I can think of is she had a change of heart, for whatever reason, not interested, met someone else etc. Which in that case she is being pretty rude for not actually having the courtesy to tell you and is doing the fade out. The only other thing I can think of is maybe something unexpected happened. Family member suddenly became very sick? as an example though that would be quite a stretch I think even if that was the case I'm sure most people would have the courtesy to reply. Edited June 4, 2013 by Carenth
GB25 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 File this one under immature little girl Lost interest, had a change of heart but doesnt have the balls to tell you.. Sucks man, im sorry but some people just lack moral fiber its much easier to disappear and ignore than to actually be a mature adult and tell you she had a change of heart Its a ego killer..all good bud just move on..please do not text her again 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Unfortunately, it happens in dating. 1) She might have a change of heart 2) Met someone else or 3) Didn't feel I was being serious enough, i.e. lack of communication Nice summary. One more that is a distinct possibility: she disliked your makeout session...just didn't work for her...regardless of how magical you felt it was. She has obviously lost all interest in taking this any further (or has had some major catastrophe befall her...highly unlikely). FWIW, lack of communication except utilitarian texts to schedule dates, lack of progress in dating (still dating once a week, mostly weekdays, when schedules permit)...those can impact your connection and chemistry during the date. Not to worry, you'll find someone who likes your style of dating and is a good fit for you.
shexy Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I would guess #1 or #2, or a combination of both, and she just didn't have the gumption to tell you, which is really rude!
Author AeroMech Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 (edited) Yeah I mean it's nothing new to me, I've done the dating game, just weird . Thanks for the feedback! Nice summary. One more that is a distinct possibility: she disliked your makeout session...just didn't work for her...regardless of how magical you felt it was. I wouldn't throw that out as I know physical chemistry is 1/2 of the battle. But, we kept in communication after that and interest, it's just recently this change.. she also initiated more kissing after the first kiss, so..? Edited June 4, 2013 by AeroMech
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