Lay Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 you can read my other threads for the background.. anyways it has been almost 6 weeks since the BU. last weekend was a convention of some kind and my ex went. i knew a lot of ppl who went (a lot of mutual friends). one of them talked to my ex. he basically told her he still loved me and he feels he can't get over me. he said everything was all his fault (he lied about a lot and really hurt me), she explained he was almost in tears because he stated that because he did what he did (lied) i cried so much.. he felt everything was his fault. at this convention last weekend he made out with this girl, and yesterday she made a status that they are bf/gf. this friend came over yesterday and told me everything. said she wanted me and him to work out because we "are perfect for each other" and he loves me very much.. yada yada. she also told me she knows this girl is a rebound 100%.. she said he kissed her to try to get over me.. and she knows he's just using her to get over me. i believe that it's been a month and half! she drove me to his house to give him my letter. she waited in the car while i went inside. this apology letter basically stated that i was sincerely sorry for cutting him so deep. (i said hurtful things when he lied and it was immature) no matter what he did, it didn't give me the right to say such awful things and i wanted him to know that my apology came from the heart and that i didn't want any animosity between us. he was so surprised that i came. and he was really in shock/happy. he was extremely friendly and sort of excited. he kept saying "you didn't have to do this, really. that's really nice of you thank you. i don't see you as a horrible person.. etc." he really appreciated that i did that and constantly said thank you and that it meant a lot. he kept stating that "we can be great friends" i never said anything about the relationship and in my letter i told him i accepted the breakup and that it was for the best. he kept bringing up the relationship and said that he was sorry that it didn't work out, because we both wanted it to. my friend and i are so confused! If he said all of this stuff to her about how he can't get over me.. and that he still loves me.. why would he keep stating that we can be great friends!? i told him ok! (but of course if that's what he truly wants i cannot be in contact with him for a while) was he trying to get a reaction out of me or something?? ahh why would he do this!? i need someone's advice, i am really baffled!!
BustedUpInside Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I think what is happening here is that your friend wants to try and help you get something that you are desperate for. I am not saying that she is making things up, but she might be exaggerating what your ex is saying or skewing in favor of reconciliation. He may have said that he still loves you, but he didn't say that he was in love with you. He may have said that he is having a hard time getting over you, but he didn't say that he will never get over you, and that he wants you back. What he did say is that he while he misses you and thinks you are a good person, he wants to be friends. Just friends. Regardless of what you want and what your friend thinks, he hasn't made any attempt to get back together with you and so I think you should probably accept that decision and try to move on. 2
Author Lay Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 that was amazing i understand now. yes i'm moving on and i feel it is easier to do now. thank you that was an amazing response 1
BustedUpInside Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 that was amazing i understand now. yes i'm moving on and i feel it is easier to do now. thank you that was an amazing response Good I was worried that you might think I was being overly harsh. I just wouldn't want you and your friend to waste time on something that was only going to make you more sad in the long run. Now you two can put your efforts into having fun and meeting new people for you. Good luck!
Author Lay Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 a lot has happened since. he was there at temple this weekend and his father invited me over to sit with them. George (my ex) smiled and waved. i gave his sister and dad a hug as i crossed the sits. later when it was lunch George saw me standing with food in my hand and invited me over to sit with him "i see you you dont have anywhere to sit i don't want you to be alone, come sit over here i'll find you a seat". so i sat with him. it was awkward at first but he asked me questions and i would smile and nod. (trying not to show interest) i would laugh at all the other guy's jokes and i was friendly. George offered me brownies, i resisted but he made me haha. after that i playfully smudged the brownie on his face. and said, "that was for prom". he said.. "yeah i guess i deserved that". he kept bringing up past things.. "yeah my car is so lonely now, i'm not used to you not being in it.." (he made the gesture of how we would always hold hands when he'd drive). i told him that makes me sad. ~later that day: his family including him came over for dinner. (our parents are good friends) i told him i was shocked that he came. he answered, "i planned to take you to the bonfire tonight" (another event i was going to) we walked to the couch and chatted.. and A LOT was said. He told me: he was offended when i told him we can't be friends, he actually teared up. he told me, "it bothers me that you want to kick me out of your life completely, do you do that to all of your ex boyfriends?" "i could be there for you always, to knock some guys head off" "we could hang out together with a group of friends". i told him that's not what i wanted but that word on the street is that you have a new girlfriend.. and later we discussed this, George: "i ****ed the relationship up. it would have still been perfect if i hadn't lied and just told you the truth from the beginning. it's all my fault. i lied to your face. i broke the trust and that's really important in a relationship. the relationship was so perfect for that 5 and a half months and i ruined it." he also told me," i cried after i broke up with you, for days" i asked him why he broke up with me and he answered,"it was an accumulation of things and the words that were said. i felt that i wasn't ever good enough for you after that. and that no matter what i told you, you would never really know who i was.. you didn't ever believe me after that" (well no duh! what do you expect me to do, give you a gold metal and praise you.. no you lied and you broke the trust! i didn't know what to believe after that!) he also said that he thought i had moved on already (and that explains a lot of things) for example: he never told me that he still loves me because he was in the belief that i was completely over him. that night we had a great time! at the party he was very flirty and kind. i was too. he kept bringing up things like "i planned to spend winter break with you.. .... ...... even ... new years". he told me he still has the box with all of our memories. and at the end he gave me three long and tight hugs and said that the relationship was really special to him. i said "the feeling is mutual" then i said, i really loved you.. he repeated the same while in this hug. i agreed to hangout with him on his last day of school this friday. we are going to the beach. i'm going to tell him this... i love hanging out with you and spending time with you.. this summer was supposed to be awesome and we're going to hangout like everyday like old times. but i can't do that when you have a girlfriend. we will do all of these things once she is out of the picture and honestly whatever the outcome i am totally fine! 1
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