youngnlove89 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It's weird to be posting in "Dating" section now, since I've always been in the Breakup Section. And I'm not entirely sure if this would be correctly posted here or in the "Abuse" section, so forgive me. Alright...so, I was a victim of sexual assault back in February. To be honest, I am still numb to the whole situation. I don't know if it has hit me yet. I have my moments where I flashback to that awful experience, get anxiety really bad, but then my mind shuts it out and I go blank. My boyfriend (by the way, we agreed to be boyfriend/girlfriend yay!!) has been affected by this more than me. He laid in my lap last night, his head on my belly, and just squeezed me tight and started to shed a few tears. He said he really wants me to go get help and see someone. He is worried about me. And in turn, he gets stressed out about the situation because I haven't done anything about it. He told me something last night that made me start to worry, he said he was going to start stalking the guy and how he wants to beat him to near death, he wants to make him suffer. I don't know if I believe him. I don't know if he would really do that or not. But sometimes, I'm not so sure. My first concern, back when this happened to me, was if my bf would even want me after that happened. But he has been 110% supportive. He said he doesn't think of me different, if anything he said it made us grow stronger. I thought of myself as weak and vulnerable by letting this happen to me. I felt dirty. But he has reassured me that I am none of that. I was the victim. If you had a girlfriend, and she was raped, how would you feel? What would you do? Would it change the dynamics of your relationship?
shexy Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I'm so sorry that happened to you :-( I was a victim of a sexual assault 20 years ago, and it's had an impact on every relationship I've had since, even though I didn't tell any of my boyfriends or my ex husband about. When it happened, I didn't tell a single soul - not family or friends. I was so embarrassed, I held it inside for 20 years. Only recently did I finally tell my best friend about it. I don't have any good advice other than to just say I'm really sorry you're going through this.
Author youngnlove89 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 I'm so sorry that happened to you :-( I was a victim of a sexual assault 20 years ago, and it's had an impact on every relationship I've had since, even though I didn't tell any of my boyfriends or my ex husband about. When it happened, I didn't tell a single soul - not family or friends. I was so embarrassed, I held it inside for 20 years. Only recently did I finally tell my best friend about it. I don't have any good advice other than to just say I'm really sorry you're going through this. Thanks. I remember thinking I wasn't going to tell anyone. I felt so embarrassed. I couldn't move. The first person I called was my bf (ex at the time) and he hurried over and told me to call the cops. But I just remember being embarrassed more than anything. It's difficult. But I'm lucky to have a guy who supports me.
shexy Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 It is really great that he's so supportive :-) I really hope he doesn't act on his idea of beating up the guy that did it....I would hate for your bf to get in trouble!
Adele0908 Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 I am sorry that this happened to you. It wasn't your fault and you did nothing to deserve it. It is normal to feel numb after the attack. It is also normal to have other changes in your mood and emotions. I hope that you do get to speak with someone. RAINN.org is a website dedicated to sexual assault and abuse survivors, and they can link you to your local rape crisis center where there is often free counseling available. They can also link you to 24 hour hotlines where you can discuss whatever you need to talk about to trained telephone counselors. I too am a sexual assault SURVIVOR. I used to call myself a victim but now I see myself as a survivor, because I've gone on to live my best life possible and will continue to do so. The healing process takes time and is different for everyone. Your boyfriend loves you and there is nothing dirty or unclean about you. The person that sexually assaulted you did so to feel power and control over you. You may have experienced this terrible thing, but it doesn't change the essence of who you are. Don't worry about what others think about you. Good luck sweetie. *Hugs* 1
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