chinacat sunflower Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It's been six months since we've been broken up. And it's been really difficult to get over him. The last time we've talked was on Christmas, he told me I hurt him, he wasn't interested and would never talk to me again. He stuck to his word. I sent him one text a month after that and no response. I sent him an email two weeks ago, again with no response. I didn't expect to get one at all. I would think that after 5 months of no contact he would at least say "leave me alone". I know I shouldn't have reached out, but I feel as though I am being the bigger person. I dislike being on bad terms with someone I care about. Things didn't work out, but it's not everyday you meet someone you share such a connection with. Neither one of us can deny that. Cutting me out of his life was a piece of cake for him. I joined this site right before I emailed him. I now, more than ever, realize he's done. Gone. Magically, absurdly dissipated. I will never hear from him again. I tell myself this everyday. The few people who have replied to my previous thread said the same thing. Just having a moment of weakness and I'm venting. Time will heal....
aisuru Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It's very hard and takes awhile to accept and be okay with it. There aren't many worse things than being told somebody who means so much to you no longer wants you in their life. You'll be okay. Write here when you need support. But don't hide out here. 1
nugget_718 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It's been six months since we've been broken up. And it's been really difficult to get over him. The last time we've talked was on Christmas, he told me I hurt him, he wasn't interested and would never talk to me again. He stuck to his word. I sent him one text a month after that and no response. I sent him an email two weeks ago, again with no response. I didn't expect to get one at all. I would think that after 5 months of no contact he would at least say "leave me alone". I know I shouldn't have reached out, but I feel as though I am being the bigger person. I dislike being on bad terms with someone I care about. Things didn't work out, but it's not everyday you meet someone you share such a connection with. Neither one of us can deny that. Cutting me out of his life was a piece of cake for him. I joined this site right before I emailed him. I now, more than ever, realize he's done. Gone. Magically, absurdly dissipated. I will never hear from him again. I tell myself this everyday. The few people who have replied to my previous thread said the same thing. Just having a moment of weakness and I'm venting. Time will heal.... His silence should speak volumes and he doesn't need to spell it out. You've already shown that you want at least some kind of communication with him (by texting and email) When he gets over feeling hurt he knows how to contact you. Meanwhile just stick to NC going forward. 1
tinker683 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Being that I was a guy who's relationship ended after she smashed me into a millions pieces who broke up with my girlfriend in early January, I'd like to say.... He does care. I don't know the circumstances of your break up, but I know as much she hurt me, I do genuinely wish her the best and I do hope she's happy doing whatever it is she's doing. The thing of it is, I don't want to have anything to do with her or with it going on. She *crushed* me and I'm JUST now starting to get over my anger. It comes and goes but it's largely starting to fade. My life has begun to crystalize for me and I like the direction it's heading in and I imagine that if I were him, I wouldn't WANT to hear from her, not unless she was committed and serious about making something worse. Otherwise, she would be a pest in my life at best, a sour contamination of my life at worst. You need to decide what you want from him and please know that unless you're willing to make it work again and give it your all, he's very likely going to turn you away and/or continue to ignore you. Depending on what happened, you may already have long since lost your chance and now you just need to accept that he doesn't want you anymore. I'm sorry Whatever you choose to do, good luck! 3
KPChick000 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Sorry that you're feeling this way . I think it's normal to feel that our exes "don't care about us" when we don't hear from them. But, perhaps they need the space as much as we do in order to heal and move on. Keep on doing your own thing with NC for now. It takes two people to want to keep in contact, and it is evident he is not on the same page. 4
Author chinacat sunflower Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Being that I was a guy who's relationship ended after she smashed me into a millions pieces who broke up with my girlfriend in early January, I'd like to say.... He does care. I don't know the circumstances of your break up, but I know as much she hurt me, I do genuinely wish her the best and I do hope she's happy doing whatever it is she's doing. The thing of it is, I don't want to have anything to do with her or with it going on. She *crushed* me and I'm JUST now starting to get over my anger. It comes and goes but it's largely starting to fade. My life has begun to crystalize for me and I like the direction it's heading in and I imagine that if I were him, I wouldn't WANT to hear from her, not unless she was committed and serious about making something worse. Otherwise, she would be a pest in my life at best, a sour contamination of my life at worst. You need to decide what you want from him and please know that unless you're willing to make it work again and give it your all, he's very likely going to turn you away and/or continue to ignore you. Depending on what happened, you may already have long since lost your chance and now you just need to accept that he doesn't want you anymore. I'm sorry Whatever you choose to do, good luck! I really appreciate your input. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to to know that he wants nothing to do with me. He has a bit of a temper, is extremely stubborn and doesn't know how to handle his anger very well. I know better. However, I like to make things right. It's in my nature. As much as I would love to start fresh with him, I know that ship has sailed. This is the first time he has ever dumped someone. His previous relationships he was always the one to be dumped. No difference. When we spoke on Christmas he said that I walked out on him. After breaking up with me, he came back a couple of days later and was clearly struggling with the break up, much more than I was (he was physically ill for 3 days). He offered friendship, but I explained to him that as much as I wanted to be his friend, I wasn't mature enough to be friends with someone I have such strong feelings for. He didn't like that and threw a fit. I'm much better than this. Thank you again for your input. It means a lot.
mfleck91 Posted June 5, 2013 Posted June 5, 2013 I know I've had a lot of issue with believing my ex doesn't care or miss me. She may or may not, but give this song a listen and it might make you feel a bit better. Rascal Flatts - Easy ft. Natasha Bedingfield 1
Author chinacat sunflower Posted June 7, 2013 Author Posted June 7, 2013 Please take note of the bolded item above. The ex who emails, who tries to force communication with the other when they are not interested, is not being the bigger person. We're not obliged to be friends with someone after a break up. We're not the 'better' or the 'bigger' person if we're able to be friends with them. In a break up, the best you can hope for is to survive it. There are no winners and losers. It's unfortunate that he doesn't want to be your friend. But you need to respect his wishes and cease contact. If you REALLY cared about him, you would do as he has asked, and let him go. You shouldn't need him to tell you to leave him alone - his silence already says that for him. I appreciate your response. It wasn't my intention to force him to talk to me. I would think that after all the time that has passed, he would be over it enough to at least say hey. He actually wanted to be friends. I told him that as much as I want to be his friend, I didn't have the maturity level to be friends with someone I have such strong feelings for. I explained to him it would be torturous for me if he wanted to date other people. I was confident in my decision. I didn't even cry. He was almost in tears (and would later admit he did cry). As I walked away from him apt I heard him yell loudly and it broke my heart. I find it hard to believe he had and/or has no feelings for me with all of the emotions he displayed during the last few days of our time together. I'm starting to come to terms with the fact he doesn't want me in his life. Mostly because of everyones brutally honest opinions. The fact I have never been ignored like this before and I am a slow healer are working against me. I genuinely miss him.
d0620 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 It's when you realize they don't care, where it forces you to ACCEPTANCE. That's where you want to be anyway. You have already spent 6 months that you can't get back wasting your time thinking about someone that doesn't care about you. Waste no more time...
d0620 Posted June 7, 2013 Posted June 7, 2013 It's very hard and takes awhile to accept and be okay with it. There aren't many worse things than being told somebody who means so much to you no longer wants you in their life. I had the same thoughts over the past two weeks until I looked around at my life and realized just how awesome it is and how lucky I am. I still miss him, I still think about him every morning and night, I still cry but there is much worse. We have food, money, roof living spaces, work, all our limbs, and we live in America or a free country. There is much worse, and if we allow them to take away our freedom in the mind then they take away everything in our existence. We have to take back the control. Working Towards Acceptance
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