starting2wakeup Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 My Original Thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/255698-what-s-best-me-her Months and years have past. In the time since my last post I have spent all of my energy on raising my two daughters. Mentally, physically, and financially, everything I do has been for them. In the process I have also worked on myself. Becoming a stronger parent, and slowly learning / trying to heal. But today... today I feel like I did when I first started that old thread. That pit is in my gut again. When I say I've spent all of the time since my ex left taking care of my children, I mean just that. For the last 3 years, my daughters and I have been thick as thieves. It has been wonderful, and I would not trade the time with them for anything in the world. This year was to be a transition year for the three of us. A chance to start fresh. My mother and father, who have been a tremendous help through everything, are moving to the mountains this year where they will be closer to my sister and her growing family. I have worked for my father for the past 9 years at a business he has ran for over 30. Long story short, my job is also moving to the mountains. So naturally, I have been planning on moving too. I sort of need to. My family, my support system is moving. As is the well paying job which allows me to pay my bills and which gives me the flexibility to take care of my girls. If I don't move, I will be unemployed and without family. I already have my girls signed up with a great school in the area. A charter school like the one they go to now, with small classes and great opportunities. And I have already located a place where we can live until our current home sells. A small cabin that literally sits right in front of where my new office will be. I've been preparing my ex for this move for years. Telling her that it was coming. Hell, it was once something we planned together. Around March of this year I offered her a deal through my lawyer. The girls move with me, but she gets them for 5 weeks in the summer, on alternating holidays, her birthday and mothers day. I felt that was fair. If she agreed to it, it would mean she would have more time with them than she has spent in the last two years. She did not take it. She keeps telling me that I am taking the girls away from her. Keep in mind we will be in the same state, just over 3 hours away from where we currently live. Is it an ideal situation? No. But I do feel that it is what is best for my girls. So, here I am, having to take her to court. Talking to her today about it...the pit in my gut returned. She doesn't care what is best for our daughters. She only cares for herself. She acknowledges that I was the one who has taken care of them these past few years, but gives it no weight. She only cares about herself. I have been keeping very good records for sometime now. In all of 2012 she did not keep the girls overnight for one single night. At most she would see them for 2 hours after school. Of course, once it became clear to her that I was serious about moving, she started to want to watch them more. This past week was the first week since our separation that she kept them for a whole week, 7 straight days. The best she has done since then was 4 or 5, nonconsecutive days. She is remarried (no surprise) to the same dude with whom I talked originally about in this thread (again, no surprise). It is his money she will be spending on lawyers. He has no idea what he has gotten himself into. I honestly almost feel sorry for him. A few very hard months are in front of me. This forum helped tremendously before, and I return knowing it will again. I'm worried, and I'm scared. But I feel I am doing what is right for my daughters.
worldgonewrong Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 I think you're going to triumph in this scenario. Don't worry too much. If your history is documented, re the kids, then I think you have an air-tight case.
trippi1432 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Hi S2W - you know I am pulling for you and your girls!! We're here for you!
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