NikkiGee Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 First of all, I went on my first date ever last Friday (I'm 18) and I had also had my first kiss. That didn't bother me at all then the guy asked me to officially be his girlfriend that same night. That again didn't bother me because we've hung out several times before our official date. The day after was my graduation and we hung out after and when he dropped me off at home, we kinda sort made out in his car. There was no tongue and our hands were still by our sides but he kissed me several times in a row. Still didn't bother me Just last night we watched a movie at my house. When the movie ended, he had to leave, so he kissed me like he did in the car but much longer. At least 30 seconds. Still no tongue or hands on each other. It didn't bother me at the time but now I'm thinking about it. My brain is telling me that maybe we should slow down a little? But my body is telling me its not a big deal and it doesn't make me uncomfortable so it shouldn't matter. I mean if things get more physical too soon I know I will stop it when/if I'm not comfortable with it. Do you think kissing like this is too soon? I have absolutely no experience, that's why I'm asking lol. And he is really nice about it and keeps asking me if I'm uncomfortable. He says he doesn't want to pressure me. My immediate answer is always "no" with a goofy grin. I mean I know for a fact I am not ready for anything further than kissing but I just want to know what everyone else thinks about all this. Thanks!
will1988 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 3rd base by now! You're an aldut and graduated from high school now... if you feel that what you are doing is right, then continue doing it... maybe more. if not, then no sweat, just take it back a notch. personally, i don't see a problem with what you are doing, nor do most people I'm sure (unless you are a mormon or in a very strict muslim country )
Cutiepie1976 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Just kissing, not French kissing, and he's checking to make sure you're not uncomfortable? No, it doesn't sound too fast. Every couple is different and will move at a different pace. Your boundaries regarding how far and how fast you proceed will be different from his, from your friends, etc...and over time. What matters is your comfort level with what you're doing, and the fact that he is respectful of your boundaries. Both are true here. If something doesn't feel right, stop him. Otherwise relax and enjoy the whole dating experience. He sounds like a great guy! 1
ThomasD Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 It doesn't sound like what you're doing is inappropriate. Even though you "feel comfortable" with it, the fact that you have to ask indicates you may be moving a little faster than you should. Or perhaps not. To spare your emotions as well as your body from unnecessary hurt, you should do a couple of things. First, have an honest conversation with yourself about what is appropriate sexual activity (all the things from holding hands; to kissing and hugging; fondling through, beneath, or without clothes; stimulating to orgasm; oral sex; intercourse; etc) at various stages of a relationship. It's perfectly acceptable to use your religious faith or other moral systems to guide your thinking or (if you are very brave!) get advice from others who have been down the path you're on, such as parents, teachers, perhaps a much older brother or sister, etc. Then have the conversation with him. In broad daylight, in the open - not in his dorm room or in the back of a car parked in a lovers' lane at 1:00 AM. Ideally you will BOTH agree to respect each other's boundaries, and sincerely help each other keep them (rather than take advantage of a weak moment). Gently and respectfully removing a wandering hand; whispering "I'm not ready for that", or "Are you sure we should do that?"; will actually build trust between you two. You have certainly heard the phrase, "Friends don't let friends drive drunk.". The principle is the same: It's much more satisfying to explore pleasure and lust, knowing you can count on your partner to help you honor your limits. It takes time - weeks to months - to build that kind of trust and respect. I was your age when I first had a girlfriend. We loved each other. She actually taught me A LOT about making love with a woman, even though we never went beyond some very passionate kissing ("making out", "necking", etc) and hugging. I certainly never fondled her or saw her naked, much less had sex with her. Even though we broke up after about 6 months, I truly believe we COULD have had a very successful and fulfilling marriage. Even though the statistical odds are against it, you may, in fact, have met your life partner. Enjoy what you are experiencing, while guiding yourself so it's still a good experience ten years from now, regardless of how it turns out.
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