Bubbles Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Hello All, I just have to vent here. I broke up with my cheating, jealous, insecure, looser, emotionally abusive boyfriend over 2 years ago and am still receiving phone calls from people telling me that the ex is still going around talking about me. I want him to stop. I want him to move on with his life. I have not been in contact with him for oave 1 year and a half. What do I do? Everyone told me just to ignore him......that eventually he will stop but this has not happened yet! For goodness sakes! He is saying good things, bad things.......he's telling people intimate things too. I'm fed up! I'm really sick and tired of this.......in my heart I want to defend myself. I would like the chance to tell people EXACTLY what he is but no........everyone says for me just to be quiet and don't go wherever he is. Well, I have done that and this situation has still not gone away. Please help me....... Bubbles
Merin Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles Hello All, I just have to vent here. I broke up with my cheating, jealous, insecure, looser, emotionally abusive boyfriend over 2 years ago and am still receiving phone calls from people telling me that the ex is still going around talking about me. I want him to stop. I want him to move on with his life. I have not been in contact with him for oave 1 year and a half. What do I do? Everyone told me just to ignore him......that eventually he will stop but this has not happened yet! For goodness sakes! He is saying good things, bad things.......he's telling people intimate things too. I'm fed up! I'm really sick and tired of this.......in my heart I want to defend myself. I would like the chance to tell people EXACTLY what he is but no........everyone says for me just to be quiet and don't go wherever he is. Well, I have done that and this situation has still not gone away. Please help me....... Bubbles Bubbles, I don't think there is anything wrong in defending yourself when you hear trash being talked... however I also have to agree with your friends in the way that the more you become upset and angry over this, the more it is giving him the attention he obviously seeks and is adding creedence to what he says. Next time you're in this situation I would simply smile and say "You know it's so sad to me that even after a 2 years he can't accept it's over and I don't want him back.. I feel sorry for him" let that get back to his dumbass!
whichwayisup Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 That's a tough one, cuz if you call him on it directly he wins and knows he's bugging you. If you ignore it, it's just gonna p*ss you off more. Maybe look into the harressment laws here in Toronto. I will ask around for you too. I have a friend who's a cop at 12 Div. so I will ask him! See if anything can be done!!! Us Torontions gotta stick together!!! In the meantime, ask your friends not to tell you anymore right now...Get them to possibly record him!! SO there's the proof, or even if they write it down word for word, but not share with you until you're ready to deal with it. Hope this helps Bubbles!! All the best! WWIU
Author Bubbles Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 Thanks Merin2, It's hard to think of things to say when people are calling me on the phone and know that the things he's saying about me are all wrong according to the Bubbles that they know. I know that these people are being good friends for letting me know but.......geez! I don't know what to do to get him to stop! Bubbles
YellowLioness Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 I hate it that he's running his mouth about you! Rarr! I'll beat him up! Well, probably not, but I'd like to. You can't stop him from talking, you just have to stop reacting to it. I know it's bothersome, and horrible, but you're taking the high ground! Your abusive ex just wants to get you mad enough so that you'll contact him about his behavior. Do you have any lawyer or cop friends? I'd have them call him, and tell him that it's illegal to spread slanderous stories, and that he can be arrested for it. That way, he'll stop, and YOU won't have to actually contact him.
Merin Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles Thanks Merin2, It's hard to think of things to say when people are calling me on the phone and know that the things he's saying about me are all wrong according to the Bubbles that they know. I know that these people are being good friends for letting me know but.......geez! I don't know what to do to get him to stop! Bubbles You're Welcome;) I know how aggravating this is.. He isn't going to stop as long he knows somehow he is getting a reaction (any reaction) so even when you don't feel like it and you really want to put your foot in his a** next time someone tells you or calls you to say XYZ.. just tell them you appreciate thier concern for you, but he is history and it isn't your problem he can't get over you... LOL go on to say "damn I'm good!" hee hee! Awe, I hope it gets better for you;)
Author Bubbles Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 And thanks to you too WWIU! I had friends in 11 Div. Downtown Core - C platoon. Unfortunatly I don't talk to them any-more. I think "slander" is more the word that I would choose. He has already been threatened with an Assault charge in which the Police took that into their hands because my ex assaulted me in front of witnesses. He spit on me because I would'nt get back together with him. He did it in a public place and there were witnesses. I did'nt press charges because he has a son and his ex-wife has already put a reastraining order on him. So I figured that just the threat of one would keep him away from me........and it has..........he just has not shut his yap! Bubbles
Merin Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Originally posted by Bubbles And thanks to you too WWIU! I had friends in 11 Div. Downtown Core - C platoon. Unfortunatly I don't talk to them any-more. I think "slander" is more the word that I would choose. He has already been threatened with an Assault charge in which the Police took that into their hands because my ex assaulted me in front of witnesses. He spit on me because I would'nt get back together with him. He did it in a public place and there were witnesses. I did'nt press charges because he has a son and his ex-wife has already put a reastraining order on him. So I figured that just the threat of one would keep him away from me........and it has..........he just has not shut his yap! Bubbles Nothing says "I don't love your a@@" like a restraining order;)
tiki Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 Is it slander if it's true? And is what he saying TRUE? I'd take the low road and call and go off on him and ATLEAST throw the slander thing in his face. But that's just me.
Author Bubbles Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 You guys might be on to something here! If I say things like......."Damn I'm good! It's been two years and he still can't get past me! Ya Baby!" Hmmmmmmmmm you've got me thinking now. Give me some more things to say. Bubbles
Author Bubbles Posted October 6, 2004 Author Posted October 6, 2004 The only thing that is TRUE about what he is saying is this: "She broke up with me......" it's when he gets to the BECAUSE part where it just all goes wrong!
CurlyIam Posted October 6, 2004 Posted October 6, 2004 LEt this be a lesson for you. The minute nayone you know says anything disrespectfull, react. They may be right, they may be wrong. LEt them know you've found out and that you don't like it. If it happenes again, take mesures. Girl, in this world, we are all alone. All we have is ourselves, our conscience, our image and our friends. No one is perfect and no one has the right to badmouth you. You still can repair some of the damage. He talks because he still is furious on you, because he knows that this is the only way to keep contact with you. By bugging you. Absolutely take measures. Whatever you see fit. From having one of your male friends have a talk with him to stop till going to the cops. Don't let nobody say anything bad about you. IT about you, about your friens, about your life, about your right to privacy. Curly
Author Bubbles Posted October 8, 2004 Author Posted October 8, 2004 Hey You Guys! Thanks you to each of your for helping to prop up my chin.......it was getting pretty close to the ground.........but my friends at LS saved me! I am going out this week-end! It is Thanksgiving long week-end here in Canada. I am going to go out and have myself and real good time........I am going to allow myslef to be reminded of WHY I broke up with him............(so HOTT men can hit on me and I'm allowed to talk to them instead of having to defend myself!! ) I know that tonight will be a total ego booster! Screw Him! Bubbles
Nick14 Posted October 9, 2004 Posted October 9, 2004 Yep, I talk about my ex, but hell not in a trash talking way, even thought its been a month and a week since the break up, I still say good, wonderfull things about my ex, damn she should be lucky to have me, now its just her stupid ass loss and its like "don't come blaming me, when you figure out your damn life and what you want and want me back". So, even if she wanted to come back, she would have to look me straight in my eyes and prove it too me, I won't tell you how, but show me and do it. You know the old saying, "you can talk the talk, but walking the walk is how you prove it to that person".
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