Creon Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Hi, a few months ago I posted in the forums with this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/376648-do-you-think-legitimate-reason-end-engagement The reponses I got were helpful to me dealing with the head rush. Now if I may elaborate on the situation three months later. So... she is now in a relationship with a friend called D. D was the first person who paid her any attention after the breakup, simply because he was in the right place at the right time. They hardly spoke to each other before our breakup but they became friendlier as time went on. D is not the person who's house she went to a few weeks after the breakup, they are seperate people but both mutual friends. About two months ago I confronted her about the hot/cold mixed signals etc. and she flatly refused to get back with me. I took it as best I could and said "Well dont worry you got what you want and youre happier now" to which she replied "Is that what you think". I hung up and since then it has been a case of LC / NC. I also unfriended her on Facebook and not having that avenue of stress has helped so much. I'll try to be more concise: 1. Small group of mutual friends, she is now dating D. 2. She constantly tries to get a reaction from me. Once stating about four weeks ago "I had to put up with your saliva for four years". Thankfully I don't give her the reaction she's looking for. 3. A month ago when I casually asked her if I could get some of my DVDs I had lent her in the past she replied with "If you really want to pretend that we never happened then fine I'll give you back the DVDs" and again nothing came of it. 3a. She is coming across as a disgusting hypocrite. To say something like "Pretend we never happened" and then start dating one of my friends is just too hilarious for words! Further, when we dated she was constantly paranoid and scared whenever I spoke to one of my female friends that I'd leave her. Of course, I would never do that. 4. Funnily enough this has all happened before. 2008-era Girlfriend dumps me, hooks up with a friend. So I suppose this is the second time I've had to go through it. Thankfully, learning from experience, I am not making a scene, not showing signs of weakness in front of friends. This is the best course of action. (Although he has just broken up with her, which adds a whole new dynamic to social situations!) I'm cool though, there's this girl at work who I think I'd like to get to know betterm makes me feel so good inside so I have no desire to return to my poisonous ex-fiance and her twisted head games. This just helps in self-growth and realisation I feel my friends are weak for falling into the arms of the first person who comes along, the easy way out so to speak. Of course, my 'friends' knew about the relationship between ex-fiance and D, but they didn't say anything to me. I found out last night when we were out at the pub. So my plan of action is to run silent, run deep and focus on the good things in life. The way I see it, life is like a bookshelf upon which are books representing previous relationships. Ex-fiance is a closed book, placed next to my other relationships and it's a big bookcase to fill So anyone feel free to throw in their opinions I'd be very happy and there's loads more that I can ramble on about! Tbh, I hope this is of help to others out there who are going through this sort of blarney!
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