devo584 Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 after high school all of my friends seem to have disappeared, and after being cheated on there's nothing i want more than my friends back, but they either don't respond or are too busy. i'm such a socially awkward person, i hate the thought of going out and meeting new people. i know it's what i need to do, but what can i do in the meantime to stop thinking about everything??
aisuru Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Pick up a new hobby, read a book, volunteer, take a class to learn something you want to know more about. Take long walks. Sometimes the fresh air helps me out. 1
maturityassets Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Are you in college now? Freshman year is always tough year if you do have some social Anxiety. As aisiru stated there are some hobbies you could go do. But if your social awkwardness is so distressing that it causes you unhappiness, could always work on that. I went to counseling in my freshman year of college and it opened me up completely and now I have some of closest friends in college and only keep in contact with one of my friends from high school (My best friend is still a childhood friend). Yeah it sucks to feel that you were cheated on. A few months from now you'll realize your break up was the best thing that happened to you if you self-improve or just realize the relationship wasn't right. I woke up this morning and said to myself "this might be the best summer yet with everything I'm planning, and my ex did me a favor letting me go"
fiftyofsomethin Posted June 3, 2013 Posted June 3, 2013 Well, one thing you could try to do is to develop a mindset of abundance rather than the mindset of lack you currently have. With an abundance mindset, you become less attached to things like friends or ideas or relationships or what have you. You realize that you can find more. You realize that you can have more of whatever it is you want. And if you start thinking this way, people just naturally flock to you. One with an abundance mindset exudes confidence and is just carefree. You may think it is impossible, but with just a week of practice with this concept, I have taken myself from an emotional wreck worrying about my ex girlfriend and worrying about how I never hung out with my friends or I wasn't rich enough or whatever the hell I could worry about, I did. And I now just see everything as it is and I realize I WILL have happiness in the future. Just be in the moment and believe that your future will be great. This will give you confidence to meet new people and will give you happiness. Good luck!
Author devo584 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Hmm, so it basically looks like I just need to look ahead? I definitely see lots of good thing ahead of me, I actually just joined a dodgeball club, it's only once a week which kinda sucks though. What do you do when it's lights out? Or other times when its just you, I drive truck, and if it's not busy I'm sitting inside of the truck with my thoughts and nothing else. Today was my first day back and it was awful, I tried picking up a newspaper and watched videos on my phone, nothing works when youre alone with your thoughts.
maturityassets Posted June 4, 2013 Posted June 4, 2013 Hmm, so it basically looks like I just need to look ahead? I definitely see lots of good thing ahead of me, I actually just joined a dodgeball club, it's only once a week which kinda sucks though. What do you do when it's lights out? Or other times when its just you, I drive truck, and if it's not busy I'm sitting inside of the truck with my thoughts and nothing else. Today was my first day back and it was awful, I tried picking up a newspaper and watched videos on my phone, nothing works when youre alone with your thoughts. I did very much of the same things in the recent end of my relationship when my friends weren't available. I filled my car with gas, blast the radio, and drove on the highway randomly. It really clears your head. Of course you can't drive all the time. I still can't sit down and TV and usually the only form of entertainment has been youtube, where I can jump video to video while doing other things like being on this website. Its going to take a while. Even on my best days, I can't help but dwell in the past and the future. If you are really alone, no friends, no family available I would suggest learning to play an instrument or something like joining a gym. But you are not completely alone, You have plenty of people on this site that will share their experiences and help you feel that you are not alone =)
Author devo584 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 I did very much of the same things in the recent end of my relationship when my friends weren't available. I filled my car with gas, blast the radio, and drove on the highway randomly. It really clears your head. Of course you can't drive all the time. I still can't sit down and TV and usually the only form of entertainment has been youtube, where I can jump video to video while doing other things like being on this website. Its going to take a while. Even on my best days, I can't help but dwell in the past and the future. If you are really alone, no friends, no family available I would suggest learning to play an instrument or something like joining a gym. But you are not completely alone, You have plenty of people on this site that will share their experiences and help you feel that you are not alone =) thats awesome actually, I'm glad that even total strangers are willing to go out of there way to help out, it means a lot. Thats a good one actually, I never thought of that! I'm not sure about being alone on the road haha. I definitely understand about it taking time, but obviously we all know how difficult it can be! Thanks for the awesome post though!
Author devo584 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 You need to check out Meetup.com I know that meeting new people makes you nervous, but making friends is like trying to get a job - they won't come to you. You have to meet them halfway. Check out the site. Just the act of browsing it might help. that sounds good I might just check it out, have you used it? I would love to meet new people, though it can get pretty intimidating for me. Thanks for the tip though I'll probably check that out tomorrow!
Author devo584 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Yep. Met one of my best friends through Meetup. It's like anything, some groups you'll like, some you won't, you'll meet some good people and you'll meet some weirdos. It's all part of the fun. Seriously? Holy cow thats awesome! Wow haha I wish I had my computer with me I want to see what its like!
Author devo584 Posted June 4, 2013 Author Posted June 4, 2013 Yep, I've known her about 18 months. We're like sisters from another mother. And father, lol. We're in the midst of planning a holiday in the latter half of the year. You just have to get yourself out there. Everyone else is going to be just as nervous as you. Meeting new people is an exercise that needs to be undertaken regularly. We forget how to do it, and then we become intimidated by it. Just start by browsing some activities and making a profile. After that, pick an event - something small, with no more than 10 people. It'll take a few goes to be confortable, but once you're used to it, it's great fun. It didnt seem like there were too many groups in my area. But I'll be joining when I'm off work tonight! And I'm pretty excited. How does it work exactly? Do you just have specific dates where the group would meet up? Or do you have to get to know everyone first?
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